Tag: True Woman

Why I Write

But beyond these, my son, be warned: there is no end to the making of many books (Eccl. 12:12 HCSB).

If Solomon were parenting today he might have said it this way, “There is no end to the making of many books, articles, blog posts, twe… Read more →

Do All Men Cheat?

I stared at my computer for a long time. After reading about the Ashley Madison scandal that is currently sending shockwaves through our culture (anyone
else feeling like it’s a train wreck? It’s hard to look away!), I learned that you coul… Read more →

5 Reasons Unity Is Worth Fighting For

We are a culture of advocates. Perhaps more than ever before, it’s trendy to latch on to a cause and passionately declare our support through colored
ribbons, memes, and virtual thumbs up. While I love to see us standing up for truth with p… Read more →

35 Things I Wish I’d Known in High School

This year I turned 35.

When I was a teenager, thirty seemed ancient. But as I crest the hill of my mid-thirties, I can assure you I won’t be picking out a retirement home any time soon. I’m just getting warmed up. In fact, my thirties have been s… Read more →

Teenagers + Technology: 3 Things You Might Be Missing

News flash: Scientists say modern teenagers have grown another appendage.

Well, those are not their exact findings, but close. A recent Pew Research Study shows what any of us who have tried to look a teenager in the eye recently
alr… Read more →

A Right Theology of Fear (And Why You Need It)

I know that I’m not supposed to be. I’ve heard all of the lines about how God wins. I’ve sung the words plenty, “If our God is for us, then who can ever
stop us.” I know that I’m supposed to “fear not” and yet, in these times, I have to won… Read more →

A Birthday Wish to Do Something Big

It’s my birthday! You can tell by the twenty candles on my cake.

Nope, I’m not actually turning twenty (again!). I’m not celebrating my physical birthday; I’m celebrating my spiritual birthday. Twenty years ago this month, I walked an aisle in… Read more →

The Parable of the Lost Sheep 2.0

Easter 2015 was particularly memorable for the Davis clan.

We had new baby sheep on our little farm, and I got the bright idea to take one of those sweet little lambs to our Easter celebration at my mom’s house.
Nothing says Easter like ki… Read more →

Should You Take Marriage for a “Test Spin”?

Don’t you just love a free trial—a no-strings attached chance to try something out before you shell out your hard-earned cash? Most of us do.

Is it a good idea to enjoy a free trial without the commitment of a permanent arrangement?

Read more →

Antelope Hunting: How Loneliness Makes Us Vulnerable to Sin

A herd of antelopes grazes together on an African plain. There are so many of them that they are calm and relaxed, drawing a false sense of security from
their numbers. They do not scan the horizon for predators. No one stands guard. They s… Read more →

3 Trojan Horses That Are Threatening Our Ability to Connect

After a fruitless ten-year war against the city of Troy, the Greeks come up with a strategy to secure their place in the pages of history. They construct a
massive horse designed to hide an elite force of their best fighters. The rest of th… Read more →

The Next Time Life Has You in the Waiting Room

I hate waiting. We all do. Waiting for God to move can feel especially uncomfortable. When I’ve prayed and do not yet see God’s hand at work, I tend to get
squirmy. Did He hear me? Will He answer? Will these circumstances ever change?

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How I Know Marriage Will Stand

“Marriage Under Fire”

“Government to Hear Testimony on the Re-Definition of Marriage”

“Biblical Definition of Marriage Questioned”

Nope. I didn’t rip these headlines from today’s blog roll. Not yesterday’s either. Yes, I know they are an accu… Read more →

A Modern Woman’s Guide to Fasting

Fasting is the spiritual discipline of denying ourselves of something (typically food) to feast on the things of God. I explored some reasons to fast in yesterday’s post. Perhaps you sense the Lord is leading you to fast. You may be thinking, Now wh… Read more →

Should I Be Fasting?

Mark 9 contains a story I’ve read a zillion times before. Jesus and His inner circle were coming down from the mountain where they had experienced the transfiguration and making their way toward joining the other disciples.

While Jesus, P… Read more →

Six Reasons Your Husband May Not Like Your Women’s Group

Ladies’ Bible studies are a staple in most of our churches. That’s a good thing! Titus 2:3–5 tells us that it is God’s design that women teach God’s Word to each other. But have you ever wondered what those closest to you really think about yo… Read more →

What to Say to That Immodestly Dressed Girl at Church

When speaking to parents and leaders of teenagers, I often hear a version of this question:

“There is a girl in my church (or a group of girls) who wear totally inappropriate clothes to church. What do I say to her?”

Here’s my response …. Read more →

What to Say to That Immodestly Dressed Girl at Church

When speaking to parents and leaders of teenagers, I often hear a version of this question:

“There is a girl in my church (or a group of girls) who wear totally inappropriate clothes to church. What do I say to her?”

Here’s my response …. Read more →

Ten Truths That Will Change Your Life in 2015

Are you a New Year’s resolution maker? I’m not.

Over the years, I’ve found the tradition of vowing to change at the start of the New Year to be an exercise in disappointment. Every year, my diets fail, my habits stay the same, and my resolutio… Read more →

5 Reasons We Still Need John 3:16

It’s been reduced to a cardboard sign held up at the edge of the wrestling ring or a mantra for frenzied NFL fans.

We assume everyone already knows it.

It’s a verse so well worn that it seems to have lost some of its luster.

But we… Read more →

Why Santa’s Not a Christian

I’ve been praying for Santa and his wife, Mrs. Claus. I’ve invited them to church. They say they’d come if they just weren’t so busy. They own a small business that seems to eat up all of their free time. I’ve shared my faith with them before, and t… Read more →

Navigating the Holidays as Adult Children of Divorce

“Hello, my name is Erin, and my parents are divorced.” Sometimes, I feel like I’m a member of a club that I can’t get out of, even if I fail to pay my dues. It’s the Adult Child of Divorce Club, and there are times when being a member is no picnic.
Read more →

Will You Pass the Insecurity, Please?

My mom’s crockpot corn (yum!). My granny’s cranberry salad (yuck!). My Aunt Rhonda’s pumpkin cake (double yum!). All of these will make an appearance at my family’s Thanksgiving table this year. But those yummy dishes will be chased by a harder pill… Read more →

3 Terrible Ways to Measure Your Ministry

First things first, I believe the Bible calls all of us into ministry. As followers of Christ, sharing the gospel (Mark 16:15), making disciples (Matt. 28:19), and caring for those in need (Matt. 25:35–40) are tasks assigned to all of us.

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Sticking Your Neck Out for Others

Editor’s Note: This is Day 14 of our 15-Day Heart Prep series for True Woman ’14.
Don’t miss a thing at True Woman ’14. Get the True Woman ’14 App to keep updated with bonus material, schedules, maps, speaker information, resources, and more!

T… Read more →

I Refuse to Be Embarrassed

My six-year-old is easily embarrassed. If his hair is going haywire or he makes a mistake in front of others, it is likely to result in tears. When he’s really embarrassed, he has a habit of finding a corner or a piece of furniture under which he ca… Read more →

Four Ways to Spot a Bitter Root

Every good gardener knows that you can’t chop weeds. Try to go after those buggers with a weed eater, and you’ll get nowhere in a hurry. You’ve got to rip weeds up by the roots. Otherwise, they will just keep coming back and when they do, they’re bo… Read more →

Your Sin Is Not in Your Junk Drawer

Is your sin really hiding in your junk drawer?

I’ve got a junk drawer so full of junk that it is renting storage space from three other drawers.

I can’t see the top of my washing machine. It is covered in soap, rags, laundry baskets, and … Read more →

Should You Wait to Have Kids Until You Can Afford Them?

$241,080

According to the USDA, that’s how much it costs to raise a child (not including college). I don’t have an extra quarter of a million dollars sitting around. Do you? Kids are expensive. The culture loves to remind us of this fact. Baby … Read more →

Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together

Enhance your summer reading with a True Woman book. The entire line is on sale this month.

Hey ladies!

I’m giddy to announce the release of my latest book, Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together. It’s about loneliness, and it’s the most personal thing I’ve ever written. I also know from months of traveling the country interviewing women like you that it might also be the most needed. Loneliness is a pandemic among us. But God’s Word holds the vaccine. Here’s a taste of the deep truth I found . . .

Polishing Up the Golden Rule

In Matthew 7, Jesus is teaching important principles about our relationships when He drops this little gem, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (v. 12).

We’ve come to identify this teaching as the Golden Rule. Later in Matthew, Jesus presented this same concept in a slightly different wrapper by saying that loving others as yourself is the second greatest commandment (Matt. 22:39).

We’ve got to learn to love others well without constantly wondering, What’s in this for me?

These verses urge us to love others in the same way we want to be loved, but they are not a guarantee that the favor will be returned. The Golden Rule is not an invitation to keep score.

When it comes to my relationships, I tend to think thoughts like these:

  • I was nice to you today, so you better always be nice to me.
  • I forgave you, but you better not ever hurt me again . . . or else.
  • I helped you, so you better help me.

But this is not the spirit of the Golden Rule. And let’s face it; it doesn’t make for great relationships. If we want to know and be known, we need to stop keeping score. If we want to move toward worrying less about having the right friends and put effort toward loving like Jesus did, we’ve got to learn to love others well without constantly wondering, What’s in this for me?

When Jesus gives us the second greatest commandment, what is He really commanding?

John Piper put it this way, “He is commanding that our self-love, which has now discovered its fulfillment in God-love, be the measure of the content of our neighbor-love. Or to put it another way, he is commanding that our inborn self-seeking, which has now been transposed into God-seeking, overflow and extend itself to our neighbor.”

Other’s Esteem

Jesus didn’t ask us to love others extravagantly simply so the neighborhood can hold hands and sing “Kumbaya.” It’s not about warm fuzzies. It’s about giving teeth to our faith. It’s about letting the abundant love God has demonstrated toward us overflow and impact others instead of keeping it bottled up and to ourselves.

When it comes to our relationships, this is a mark that so many of us miss.

In a culture completely obsessed with feeling good, we’ve been raised with the idea that our self-esteem should be fed into. We look to our relationships to satisfy our craving for constant ego strokes. This is not the formula that Jesus modeled or taught.

Paul was urging Christians in Philippi to be encouraged by Christ’s example when he penned these words: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3).

Perhaps it’s time we outgrow the notion that the purpose of our relationships is to provide a steady drip of feel-good fuel for our delicate self-esteem.

Perhaps it’s time we outgrow the notion that the purpose of our relationships is to provide a steady drip of feel-good fuel for our delicate self-esteem.

As I’ve wrestled with loneliness, I’ve learned that there’s more on the line than simply having great friends. If we can feel desperately lonely as wives, daughters, sisters, and friends, the antidote must be found in the quality of our relationships, not the quantity. The Bible teaches a paradoxical truth. The depth and quality of our relationships hinge on what we give, not what we get.

I don’t do math, but when we look at Jesus’ teachings and examples, it becomes clear why our relationship equations so rarely add up. We tend to plug the factors in this way:

Me + relationships built on my self-esteem = shallow connection.

We need a new equation that looks like this:

Me + relationships built on others’ esteem = deep connection.

No ATMS

True, deep connection, the kind that can keep us tethered and hemmed in, is born from sacrifice, not self-esteem. There is no room for an ATM mentality among the people of God.

If we are going to vaccinate ourselves and others against the pandemic of loneliness, we must love like Jesus loved. We’ve got to connect with people who have nothing to offer us. We should befriend the undesirable and cast out. We need to look at our relationships and ask what we can give instead of what we can get.

An Unexpected Parachute

Loving others wholeheartedly can feel like jumping without a parachute. There are no guarantees that they will love us back or be able to meet our relational needs. I think we should jump anyway . . . it’s the only way to find true connection. But as I looked in God’s Word for the answers to my loneliness, I found that God does offer a parachute. He is the parachute.

Deuteronomy 31:8 promises. “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

  • Do you feel lonely because no one is thinking about you? The truth is, since before you were even born, God knew you (Ps. 139:13–16).
  • Do you feel like no one notices how hard life can be? God keeps a record of every heartbreak (Ps. 56:8).
  • Do you feel friendless? Betrayed? Walked out on? The God who created everything out of nothing, who always was and always will be, whose name is Faithful and True, calls you His friend (John 15:15). You can never accurately say you are friendless. God’s offer for relational intimacy always stands.

So, yes, knowing and being known is risky, but God is able to meet our deep need for connection, and through His Word, He shows us how to let that ripple out into our relationships with others.

Ready to jump with me? If you’ve felt the sting of loneliness and are ready to discover the secrets of knowing and being known, leave me a comment about it. I will choose three of you to win a copy of Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Weathering the Storms of Loneliness and Life.”

 

Read more →

This Ain’t About Throwbacks

Women at home rocking tea-length dresses, frilly aprons, and adorable high heels, vacuuming with an Electrolux vacuum, while their 2.5 children play quietly nearby . . .

Is this the picture of perfect womanhood?

If you listen to the cultu… Read more →

Why I’m Not a Feminist

Drop this word into a room full of women and you’re sure to ignite a firestorm . . .

Feminism.

On the surface level, feminism looks benign. If feminism is simply the advocacy for women’s rights based on the idea that we are equal to men, I’… Read more →

Why I’m Sick of Women’s Conferences

I’ve been to eight women’s conferences in the last three months. I’ve got the t-shirts to prove it. As a Bible teacher, I have the privilege of attending lots of these events to speak. I meet beautiful women with hearts full to the brim with a desir… Read more →

When We (kind of) Believe in Karma

We don’t want to cut back on ministry outreaches in the year ahead, so we’re asking the Lord to provide at least $435,000 by the end of this month. Will you help?

Two of my three sons have bad kidneys. That means that since my first ult… Read more →

A Beautiful Encounter with Our Savior (And a Giveaway!)

It was a very dark day for one momma.

Her only son was dead. She had already buried his daddy. Her heart was broken. Her family was gone. She was destitute.

Luke tells the story this way,

Soon afterward he went to a town called Nain,… Read more →

Who am I? The Good, the Bad, and the Gospel

Come worship Christ and learn how to live in His fullness with thousands of your sisters at True Woman ’14 in Indianapolis on October 9–11. Only 23 days left for early registration.

Yesterday, I wrote about the character of God in His own w… Read more →

Who Are You, God?

Come worship Christ and learn how to live in His fullness with thousands of your sisters at True Woman ’14 in Indianapolis on October 9–11. Only 24 days left for early registration.

Take off your sandals (or boots as may be the case this co… Read more →

Who Are You, God?

Come worship Christ and learn how to live in His fullness with thousands of your sisters at True Woman ’14 in Indianapolis on October 9–11. Only 24 days left for early registration.

Take off your sandals (or boots as may be the case this co… Read more →

Dear Room Moms Everywhere

Last month, I stumbled upon a raw nerve. My post, “Why I’m Not the Room Mom” ignited a response I did not anticipate. Some of you responded that you were encouraged by the post to draw healthy boundaries with your time and family. Hooray! That was my … Read more →

Craving God’s Best

Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Our blood sugar has spiked from all of that chocolate and some of us never received what we were actually craving—someone else’s love.

I’d like to propose a radical change. Instead of labeling February … Read more →

Why I’m Not the Room Mom

I send store-bought valentines to my son’s school.

There. I said it.

I don’t stencil names onto fancy pieces of cardboard. I don’t hot glue the perfect candy heart message onto cardstock. I don’t bake heart-shaped cookies from scratch. I… Read more →

It’s Not About Me

I’ve got a secret that can keep rivers of tears from being shed in 2014. It can stop angry outbursts in their tracks. It can put an end to stewing, sniveling, and navel-gazing. It is a secret that can insulate you from so much in the year ahead.

A… Read more →

Five More Truths To Set You Free in 2014

Yesterday, I challenged you to resolve to put God’s Truth into action in 2014. I gave you five action steps based on the Truths Nancy writes about in Lies Women Believe.

Here are five more ways you can live out God’s Truth in 2014.

I will wave th… Read more →

Five Truths to Set You Free in 2014

What is it about a new year that makes us all want to call for a massive “do over”? We collectively vow to shed a few pounds, save a few pennies, and ditch the nasty habits that plagued us the year before.

Resolve to put God’s Truth into action.

B… Read more →

Praying the Scriptures for Your Children

When I was only twelve weeks along with my first-born son, the doctor called us with some devastating news. The baby’s tiny bladder was blocked, meaning he couldn’t process amniotic fluid and wasn’t expected to survive the pregnancy… Read more →

Best of 2013: Praying for More Than ‘Safe’

We’re celebrating God’s faithfulness here on the True Woman blog with some of our favorite posts from 2013. We trust these posts will help you start your year off with a God-centered focus.
I pen these words a few days after a bomber took out an eight… Read more →

Immanuel Changes Everything

The book of 1 Samuel records a great battle between the people of God, the Israelites, and one of their fiercest enemies, the Philistines. Israel lost 4,000 men on the battlefield in a single day. In the face of such crushing defeat, the elders of Is… Read more →

Inhospitable Hospitality

‘Tis the season to be hospitable.

One thing I love about the Christmas season is we tend to look over the fences that so often separate us from those near by and say, “Come on in.” We host Christmas parties and dinners. We blow up the airbeds and s… Read more →

When Gratitude Isn’t So Warm and Fuzzy

These days my thoughts have drifted to the Pilgrims.

We tend to romanticize that first Thanksgiving. We imagine happy Pilgrims sitting over steaming plates of food and kindly asking their Indian guests to “please pass the potatoes.” It’s all so qu… Read more →

A “Good Girl” Wrestles with the Gospel

I’ve always been a “good girl.”

Straight A student. Rarely in trouble. Picked the right college, the right fella, the right outfit. You get the idea.

Turning my life over to Jesus ripped my story into two halves: life before Him and life after … Read more →