Welcome to ErinDavis.org
We’ve put together a collection of resources on various topics pulled from Erin’s books, blogs, and recommended resources. Take a look around and thanks for your patience while this site is under construction.
Lies Young Women Believe Companion Guide
Get the resource that helps you go deeper into the truths found in Lies Young Women Believe. The Companion Guide contains questions and activities that will cause readers to think and wrestle with the truth in their search for answers to life’s tough questions. The Companion Guide for Lies Young...
Graffiti
Publication Date: July 1, 2008
Our culture is driven by a concept of beauty that negatively impacts adolescent girls. The Scriptures are full of assurances regarding our identity in Christ, inherent worth to the Creator, and the secrets to tapping into the source of true and lasting beauty, yet girls...
Graffiti: Leader’s Guide
Publication Date: July 1, 2008
Our culture is driven by a concept of beauty that negatively impacts adolescent girls. The Scriptures are full of assurances regarding our identity in Christ, inherent worth to the Creator, and the secrets to tapping into the source of true and lasting beauty, yet girls...
True Princess
2010-07-01
A True Princess is special because she is the daughter of someone special. Everything she does points back toward her Father. If a princess acts recklessly, it isn’t just her reputation that suffers. The honor and image of the throne is at stake. Help girls understand that their...
The Bare Facts
Publication Date: July 1, 2011
Sex is everywhere. And misunderstandings about it are even more pervasive. Whether you have questions of your own and don’t know who to ask, or you are being asked questions and don’t know where to turn¿this small book has the answers. Bestselling author...
Beyond Bath Time
Publication Date: April 1, 2012
Motherhood is under attack. Nearly one in five American women ends her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with one in ten in 1970. In 2007, among Christians, 47% felt that the roles of marriage and motherhood should not be emphasized for women....
New From Erin's Blogs:
Loose Lips Sink Families
“Loose lips sink ships.” They also have a way of sinking entire families. Don’t believe me? Just ask Zeresh or Potiphar’s wife or the many wives of Solomon.
These were wives who did not hold their tongues. They are wives wh… Continue reading →
Should I Submit To My Boyfriend?
“Should I submit to my boyfriend?”
That’s the question that one of the smart readers of this blog submitted recently. To be honest, it’s a bit of a stumper. Since a boyfriend is not the same as a husband, isn’t submission in that relationship a bit misplaced? Part of me thinks yes! But since I see dating as preparation for marriage (as opposed to just having fun), is it reasonable to think a girl could disregard what the Bible teaches about submission while dating then suddenly flip a switch after saying “I do”? Hmmm … that’s a little trickier.
Those same questions may be swirling in your mind as you consider how to act in your own dating relationship (now or in the future). If so, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Your boyfriend is not your husband.
You may really, really like your boyfriend. He may have everything you are looking for in a future husband. The two of you may have even talked about getting married. But none of that is the same as actually being married.
The reality is that break-ups happen. They happen to couples who love each other very much. They happen to couples who were sure they would be together forever. Break-ups can even happen after a couple becomes engaged. (Here are two stories where that’s exactly what happened: “Lessons Learned From a Cancelled Wedding” and “Hope for Broken Hearts.”
As you consider your relationship with your boyfriend, it is critical to keep in mind that he is not your husband. There is no place in Scripture that places a boyfriend as an authority over a girlfriend—likely because there is no guarantee that this is a permanent relationship.
This doesn’t mean that you can disregard everything your boyfriend says or treat him with disrespect. Ephesians 5:21 urges all Christians to submit to each other because of our loyalty to Christ. (By the way, if your boyfriend is not a Christian, please take time to read this post. It is always a good idea to treat others with love, respect, and consideration. However, don’t fall for the temptation to “play house” with your boyfriend and pretend that you are already husband and wife. The guidelines the Bible offers for married couples are just that—for married couples.
God has given you arenas to learn submission.
How’s a girl supposed to learn submission if she doesn’t submit to her boyfriend? God’s Word has that answer covered.
Ephesians 6:2 says, “‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise).”
Hebrews 13:17 says, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
Another way to think of submission is to respect, defer to, or honor. Marriage is not the only relationship where we are called to submit. You are clearly called to honor and submit to your parents. In fact, this is really the classroom where God intends for you to learn biblical submission. He also calls you to honor and obey your spiritual authorities. This could include your pastor, youth pastor, or mentor.
Do you find it difficult to submit to your parents? Do you tend to disregard it when your youth pastor calls out your sin or challenges you to live more Christ-like? Don’t be fooled into thinking that submission will be easier when you’re married. It will not. Make a habit of respecting others and deferring to those whom God has placed in authority over you now instead of assuming it will come more naturally later.
Remember what submission is all about.
The Bible clearly calls wives to submit to their husbands in Ephesians 5:22–24:
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
This passage gives us a hint about why submission really matters. Marriage is to be a picture of Christ and the church. Paul really hammers this point home a few verses later.
This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church (Eph. 5:32).
Submission isn’t about power trips. It’s about putting the mystery of the gospel on display. When you submit to your husband someday in marriage, you’ll be showing the world what it means for the Church to willingly surrender to the Lordship of Christ. That’s big stuff!
But you don’t have to be married to determine to let your relationships put Jesus on display. Look for ways to honor and glorify God in all of your relationships, including your dating relationships. Speak with kindness. Forgive freely. Run away from sexual sin. These are ways you can showcase Christ without treating your boyfriend like a husband.
“Should I submit to my boyfriend” is a good question. Perhaps an even better question is, “How can I use my relationship with my boyfriend to most honor God?” I’ll let you answer that one. Leave us a comment, and tell us what you think.
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A Soldier's Wife Redefines Marriage
Widow of WWII Soldier Waits Over 60 Years For the Love of Her Life – Tear Jerker! from joylights on GodTube.
The video above is a real tearjerker. The first time I watched it, I thought it was simply a Hallmark-card-like take of a soldier’s wife who understood sacrifice, patriotism, and loss. I suppose it is a story about those things, but one thing that the soldier’s wife said landed like a dart in my heart …
“Billy was married to me all of his life, and I chose to be married to him all of my life.”
Gulp.
The truth is, the woman in this story had only been married six weeks when her new husband shipped off to war. She never saw him again. Before they even celebrated their first anniversary, he was gone and she was left as a wife without a husband to hold, to be loved by, to build a life with.
It doesn’t sound like a very happy ending, but the soldier’s wife seems to have learned a lesson about marriage that we all need to know.
The goal of marriage isn’t to make us happy.
Sure, it’s possible to be happily married, but feeling happy isn’t the barometer we should use to decide if marriage is good. Did the soldier’s wife have a “happy” marriage? I would guess not, since the majority of her marriage was spent alone. But she was faithful. Perhaps she knows the truth that the Bible spells out in Ephesians 5:31–32.
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
She faithfully loved one man her whole life even though he could not offer the same love in return. Does that portray Christ’s love for us, His Church? You betcha! She chose to keep her promise even when her husband failed to be able to keep his. Sound like a little like what Jesus did for us? Yes. It does.
In Lies Young Women Believe, Nancy and Dannah wrote about the mystery this way:
God did not design marriage to make you happy, but to glorify Himself. If you approach marriage in God’s timing and with a pure heart, it will likely prove to be one of the most wonderful experiences and gifts of your life. However, God’s ultimate purpose in marriage is not to make you happy. It is to glorify Himself.
When you look to a relationship with a guy to make you happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and potentially for disaster.
So … grab a box of Kleenexes, and watch that video one more time. This time ask yourself these questions:
- If you were the soldier’s wife, would you have waited faithfully for a lifetime?
- How do you think this story would be different if the wife looked to marriage to make her happy?
- When you think about your future marriage, are you more concerned with how it will make you happy or how it will make you holy?
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