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This week wraps up with Mother’s Day, a holiday dedicated to telling mom how great she is and showering her with love, gifts, and words of affirmation.

But …

What if your mom isn’t so great?
What if your mom has disappointed you? Or you just can’t seem to get along with her? Or she’s not in the picture at all?

There isn’t exactly a Mother’s Day card dedicated to saying all of that! If you find that it’s hard for you to express love to your mom this Mother’s Day, here are a few points to ponder.

Honor—No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts

Over and over in Scripture, God commands us to "honor" our parents. Here are a couple of examples.

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you" (Ex. 20:12).

"Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise) (Eph. 6:2).

Notice that there is no escape clause at the end of these verses. God doesn’t say honor your mother, unless she really gets on your nerves. Or honor your mother, unless her rules seem unreasonable. Or even honor your mother, unless she’s been a really crummy mom. In fact, it doesn’t talk about what kind of moms should be honored at all in these passages. That’s because God knows that we will want to find loopholes and push back against this particular commandment.  

To honor means to treat with respect. That doesn’t have to mean warm fuzzies, but it does mean to talk to your mom respectfully and to honor or follow her rules.

Even if your relationship with your mom is less than perfect right now, look for ways to honor her this Mother’s Day.

Try …

1. Vowing not to argue or talk back for the entire day. (No eye rolling either!)
2. Doing what she asks the first time.
3. Writing her a card or letter that tells her what you respect about her. (I bet you can think of at least one thing!)

Be a Peacemaker

There are always two sides to every story. If your have a difficult relationship with your mom, it is likely that you are both at fault. However, since this blog isn’t liesmomsbelieve.com, I’ll have to stick to advising you in your unique role in your relationship with your mom.

Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." (Note: You’ll learn more about this verse soon as part of Paula’s series on the Beatitudes.)

If we want to be recognizable as God’s children, we need to make peace.

As Mother’s Day approaches, ask yourself these questions:

1. In what ways am I contributing to the difficulties my mom and I are having?
2. What can I do to make my relationship with my mom better?
3. Is there anything I need to apologize to my mom for?

I bet your mom would accept your attempts to make peace with her as a beautiful gift this Mother’s Day.

Look For a Spiritual Mother

What if your mom isn’t in the picture? Then what? You can’t exactly honor or make peace with someone who isn’t there, can you?

First, let me say that to those of you who have lost a mom to death or divorce, I am so sorry. Your loss is huge, and I’d imagine that this is a particularly difficult holiday for you. But God sees your loss and heartbreak, and He calls His Church to reach out to you.

Galatians 4:27 says, "For it is written, ‘Rejoice, O barren one who does not bear; break forth and cry aloud, you who are not in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than those of the one who has a husband.’"

At first glance, this verse doesn’t seem to make much sense. How can a barren woman have more children than a woman with a husband? Why should a woman who cannot have children of her own rejoice? God is calling women to "spiritual mothering." It’s an idea repeated in other places in Scripture like Titus 2:3–5.

If your mom is out of the picture, ask the Lord to provide someone who can mentor, love, and guide you.  No one will be able to replace your mother, of course, but it is possible for a wise, Christian woman to mother and nurture you.

You might consider taking a proactive approach instead of waiting for a spiritual mother to drop into your lap. Who are some women you respect and admire? Ask if you can spend some time with them. (Coffee? Sushi? Lunch date?) Invite them to be a part of your life.  

The bottom line is that the mother/daughter relationship doesn’t always feel like a Hallmark card. This holiday may be a reminder that you want your relationship with your mom to be better. Don’t spend the day wishing you had a different mom; do what you can to make your relationship as strong as it can be.

Let’s get that started right now. Tell me three things you respect about your mom in a comment below or three ways you plan to make peace. No flowers or mushy cards required. 

Is your tongue on fire? That’s the question I posed in Tuesday’s blog post based on James 3:5–9. That passage says:

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.

James was making a powerful point that we tend to forget—just like a single spark can burn a forest to the ground, our words (even just a few of them) have the power to destroy. If you take a minute to let James’ words sink in, it’s obvious that he’s speaking the truth. You’ve been burned by the words of others, haven’t you? And I bet you’ve allowed your words to singe others in return.

If we keep reading just a little bit further, we find a specific way our words can scald:

From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so (v. 10).

James specifically addresses "my brothers" in this verse, but I have a hunch that James knew a thing about girl-world when he penned these words. We’re exceptionally good at spouting blessings and curses simultaneously. What might that sound like?

"She’s really pretty, but she can be so stuck up."
"Yeah, she’s nice, but sometimes she really gets on my nerves."
"She’s such a flirt, but I just love her to death."

Blessings and curses coming out of the same mouth … often in the same sentence. We girls know how to sugarcoat our burning words, don’t we? But James simply reminds us that "these things ought not to be so."

In other words, stick to the blessings and ditch the curses all together. You’ve got no business using your words to tear down others, even if you wrap it in a compliment.

But sometimes, we just need to vent, right? After all, we’re just being honest. If you’ve ever justified blessing and cursing that way, you need to check this out:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Eph. 4:29).

This verse draws a hard line in the sand. If it tears others down, don’t say it. If it builds others up, do. Good advice in light of the fact that our tongues are a spark capable of setting an entire forest ablaze, huh?

‘Fraid you can’t straddle the fence here—you can either seek to tame your restless tongue by sticking to words that bless and build up, or you can keep starting fires by cursing and tearing down. So take a look at that hard line, and ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you use your words to tear others down (even when they can’t hear you)?
2. Do you refuse to say anything that is unwholesome? That means that if it is harmful, impure, or unhelpful, you don’t say it.
3. Do you bless and curse at the same time? Do you wrap your put-downs
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Is your tongue on fire? No, I’m not talking about eating spicy food. I’m referencing our power to set things ablaze with the words that we say. I’ve been struggling a bit with guarding my words lately, so I pulled up this post on the subject from our archives. Just in case any of you have a tongue that’s been smoldering, I’ve decided to repost this video and blog as a reminder that our tongues can cause a lot of damage.

In case you couldn’t load the YouTube video above, here’s a play-by-play. 

In the middle of a dark night, a single arrow is set on fire. It’s not a big fire; a little more than a spark, really. We see the arrow fly through the air. It meets its target, and BOOM! Suddenly a bonfire is raging. 

This video is a picture of a truth that James lays out in James 3:5–9:

So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell … no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.

Aw, c’mon, James! Aren’t you being a bit dramatic? Is the tongue really capable of setting a forest ablaze? Is it really a "restless evil full of deadly poison"?

‘Fraid so. 

Let me put it this way: How many of you have been badly burned by the words of others? How many of you have deeply wounded others with just your words? Yeah, me too. 

In fact, I think our tongues are a lot like that pile of kindling from the video, just waiting for a spark to burst into flames and cause us to sin. And sins of the tongue are a lot like bonfires. There’s no such thing as a little lying or a little gossip or just a little bit of being rude to your parents. We don’t usually do just a little bit of complaining or a little bit of tearing others down with our words. Sins of the tongue can quickly become raging fires in our lives, and without God’s help we cannot reign in the flames. 


I spoke on this passage recently at a girls’ retreat in Oklahoma. After exposing our tongues as a weak spot where many of us fall into sin, I shared this verse of hope. (It’s one I write about often here on the blog because I think it matters so much in the life of every Christian.) 


Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working (James 5:16). 

Soon afterward, the craziest thing happened. One by one the girls stood up and did what James urges in this verse. 

They said …

"My tongue is a weak spot in the area of anger, and I want you to hold me accountable."
"My tongue is a weak spot in the area of sassiness, and I want you to hold me accountable." 
"My tongue is a weak spot in disrespecting my parents, and I want you to hold me

accountable."
"My tongue is a weak spot in the area of flirting, and I want you to hold me accountable."
"My tongue is a weak spot in the area of judging others, and I want you to hold me accountable."

As they shared, they worked as fire extinguishers for each other, combating the bonfire effect that sins of the tongue can have. Owning up to the fact that our tongues are an area where many of us struggle and asking for others to help us choose God’s truth can have the same effect on the readers of this blog. 

So here is my challenge to you. Leave us a comment telling us how your tongue is a weak spot when it comes to sin and how we can pray for you. Consider us your fire safety patrol, interested in pointing you toward God’s truth as we all work together to tame the tongue.

Psst … for more on this passage from James, be sure to check out Erin’s post on Thursday.

From the LYWB.com team: The following thoughts were posted by a twenty-seven-year-old groom on Facebook the day of his wedding. We thought his post was so sweet and encouraging that we couldn’t wait to pass it on to you. I hate to jump to the punch line too soon, but Josh Elliff makes two important points: 1) Waiting is possible. 2) Waiting is worth it. Cue wedding music!

I am twenty-seven years old. I have been single my entire life … something that will change today. I have been tempted, tested, tried, and challenged. I have been encouraged, discouraged, and on occasion have found courage. I have loved, I have lost, I have forgiven and been forgiven. I have prayed, I have cried, and I have been humbled.

Jacqueline and I have prayed for each other for the better portion of our lives without even knowing it. We have cried out to the Lord for His provision in our spouse. We did this believing He would provide. He has provided. Exceptionally. Beyond our expectations. I want everyone to know that tonight when we consummate our marriage, we will do it as virgins. This is an uncommon thing in our society. Sadly, it is an uncommon thing in our churches. We have saved ourselves for each other. So tonight, we will spend our intimacy with the only other person on the earth that we will spend it with … ever (each other).

I tell you this to encourage you. It is possible to be a virgin at twenty-seven. It’s possible to do that … and it’s beneficial too. We have no regrets of past partners. We have no baggage from past sexual partners that we have to sort through. We have both had our struggles at times, but we have intentionally protected this area of our lives. It is by the grace of God that we were able to do this. It is by the grace of God that we were able to protect ourselves during our engagement. It is because of Christ in us that we have held the marriage bed as a sacred place, only to be experienced between us and only once we have been bound to each other through the marriage covenant.

If you are single, no matter what your sexual history is, I challenge you NOW to commit this area of your life over to the Lord—even if you have struggles or mistakes in your past. God will honor your commitment to Him now. He looks at your heart now and beckons you to surrender this area to Him.

I challenge you to pray for your future spouse. I challenge you to be intentional in whom you date and how you date them. I exhort you to seek the glory of God and the sanctity of marriage FIRST in every relationship you have.

I promise you that when you get to your wedding day, you will be so thankful that by the grace of God you made that commitment. I know I am.

"I’m so glad I got to spend this time with you, Erin" she said, "because now I know how to pray for you."

These were the words of a sweet lady named Emma who was tasked with picking me up at the airport and driving me to a recent event. We had never met before, but over lunch and a short road trip we got to know the basics of each other’s lives. I learned about her grandson with special needs and her accountant husband who was busy crunching numbers in anticipation of tax time. I filed these kernels of information away as typical "getting to know you" stuff, but Emma went way beyond that. Emma was determined to use what she learned to inform how she prayed.

Emma is a prayer warrior—one of those people who operates as if she truly believes in the power of prayer. Because, of course, she does. She’s seen God work over and over, and she knows that the most important thing she can do for others is to pray.

I want to be more like Emma.

My prayer life has always been a bit wimpy. I want to be a prayer warrior, want to be a girl who runs to the Lord first and often, want to stand in the gap for others through prayer … but I rarely do.

What Emma seemed to get that I have been missing is that prayer is simply a conversation. She talked to the Lord all day long about all kinds of things. Big things. Small things. Things that matter to other people. Things that matter just to her. Things where she needs God to move RIGHT NOW and things where she is simply asking for a gradual change.

Emma didn’t pigeonhole her prayer life into a time slot or category. She simply talked to God all the time. And God listened and responded … all the time.

The rhythm of Emma’s prayer life is actually described in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, which says, "Pray without ceasing."

That’s a fancy way of saying start praying and don’t stop. When it comes to prayer don’t back off, don’t break off, don’t call it a day, don’t discontinue the conversation. Just talk to God.

That’s good news. It means to be an Emma-caliber prayer warrior I don’t have to know exactly when and where to pray. I simply need to talk to the Lord and keep talking.

So with that goal in mind, I’d like to challenge us all to set our alarms for a different kind of reminder. Actually, I’d like us to commit to each setting two alarms a day for the next ten days, one for 5:17 p.m. and one for 5:17 a.m. (Yep, I know that’s early!) When the alarm goes off, we need to do a simple task—start praying. That way we will start every day by opening a dialogue with the Lord and head into each evening by keeping the conversation going.

So who’s with me? Are you willing to set their alarm as a reminder to "pray without ceasing"? If you’re in, leave me a comment below to tell me about it.

Some of you are feeling foolish.

You left us a comment telling us so after I posted a list of what makes a fool last week. The Bible gets pretty specific about what kinds of choices fools make in order to guide us toward the opposite of foolishness . . . wisdom.

Fortunately for each of us, the Bible doesn’t just warn us what not to do in order to avoid living foolishly, it also gives us some firm advice of what wise living looks like. So let’s revisit those verses from our "foolish checklist" and see if we can come up with a picture of what it means to be a girl gone wise.

A wise girl …

• Fears the Lord (Prov. 1:7).
• Responds to the Lord’s discipline (Prov. 1:23).
• Listens to God and rests in knowing that He will take care of her (Prov. 1:33).
• Makes her parents glad (Prov. 10:1).
• Considers and makes changes when criticized (Prov. 15:5).
• Follows the rules (Prov. 10:8).
• Loves to learn (Prov. 10:14).
• Holds her tongue (Prov. 10:20).
• Takes pleasure in making wise choices (Prov. 10:23).
• Is cautious (Prov. 14:16).
• Runs away from evil (Prov. 14:16).
• Stays away from conflict (Prov. 20:3).
• Saves her money instead of spending it all (Prov. 21:20).

Whew! Those are high standards to live up to! The truth is, we will all fall short and make foolish choices from time to time, but Proverbs helps us see exactly what wise living should look like in order to help us avoid foolishness.

If you try to tackle that entire list at once, you’ll find yourself overwhelmed. Instead, ask the Lord to show you one or two areas where you’ve been making foolish choices and to help you choose wisdom. Then head right back here and tell us how you plan to flee from foolishness and choose wisdom this week.

On Tuesday I wrote about the "foolish woman" described in Proverbs 7. What makes her foolish is mostly the way she interacts with guys. Let’s be honest, we’ve all been known to act a fool around a fella a time or two. But the Bible gives strong warnings about this kind of woman. A foolish woman is someone we should all work hard to avoid becoming.

Proverbs 7 isn’t the only place we find a description of foolishness. In fact, the books of Psalms and Proverbs are loaded with warnings of what foolishness looks like in action. Most of these verses also offer a contrasting reality, which is wisdom.

The writer of Proverbs 7 offers this bit of advice, "Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and call insight your intimate friend" (v. 4).

We should know wisdom as well as we know our very own siblings. We should keep it as close as we keep our best friends. I suppose, in contrast, we should treat foolishness like that toxic friend who only brings us down—we need to keep our distance. We should work to be so familiar with the face of foolishness that we recognize it when it comes into our lives so we can turn on our heels and run. With that in mind, here is a description of foolishness based on Psalms and Proverbs. If you see any areas where you’ve been living foolishly, stop reading and look up the passage that are mentioned to find out what the wiser choice is.

• A fool says, "there is no God" (Ps. 14:1, 53:1).
• A fool loves to be the center of attention and is overly confident in herself (Ps. 49:12–14).
• A fool despises wisdom and instruction (Prov. 1:7).
• A fool hates knowledge (Prov. 1:22).
• A fool loves to maintain the status quo/resists change (Prov. 1:32).
• A fool rebels against and embarrasses her parents (Prov. 10:1, 15:5, 20).
• A fool talks too much (Prov. 10:8, 14).
• A fool is a backstabber (Prov. 10:18).
• A fool thinks doing the wrong thing is funny (Prov. 10:23).
• A fool is reckless and careless (Prov. 14:16).
• A fool has a quick temper (Prov. 14:17).
• A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing her opinion (Prov. 18:2).
• A fool is always quarreling with those around her, a.k.a. drama queen (Prov. 20:3).
• A fool spends all she has instead of saving (Prov. 21:20).
• A fool worships herself (Prov. 30:32).

Based on that checklist, do you treat foolishness like a good friend? Do you let her into your world and let her influence the way you live? Or do you treat wisdom like your bestie and tell foolishness to keep her distance?

From the LYWB.com team: After more than five years as a blog dedicated to exposing lies and replacing them with God’s truth in the lives of young women, we’ve decided to switch directions. From now on this blog will be dedicated entirely to the subject of goat herding. You can follow us at our new url www.liesgoatherdersbelieve.com. 

Clearly, I’ve never been good at practical jokes … as you can tell by my sad attempt above which is a) a day late for an April Fool’s Day prank and b) not very believable. But I wanted to get you thinking about the subject of fools. April Fool’s Day is a strange tradition where we create a national pastime out of making people feel foolish, but the truth is that foolishness is no joke.

Did you know that the Bible mentions the word "fool" nearly 200 times? Most of those references can be found in the books of Psalms and Proverbs as descriptions of a foolish person. These passages tell us that to be a fool is much worse than falling for a practical joke. A foolish person is likely to find themselves in a lot of trouble as a result of their foolish ways.

In fact, Proverbs 1:7 says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."

One of the first hallmarks of a fool is that they plug their ears when someone offers them wise advice. If we want to avoid being fools, we need to be eager to learn all that God wants to teach us in His Word. With that in mind, I’d like to take a couple of days to study God’s definition of foolishness so that we can all seek to live like wise women.

Proverbs 7 describes a foolish woman. Certainly, guys can act foolishly too, but since this site is dedicated to the lies young women believe (NOT to lies goatherders believe), this passage is a great place to start as we seek to understand what foolishness truly looks like.

Let me encourage you to read the entire passage yourself, but here are some of the highlights.

A foolish woman…

• Flatters with her words (vv. 5, 21). In other words she is known to tell people what they want to hear and can be a flirt when it comes to the fellas.
• Puts herself in bad situations (v. 9).
• Dresses immodestly (v. 10).
• Is loud and attention seeking (v. 11).
• Is aggressive toward guys (v. 13).

Before you wave this passage off and assume that it could never be describing a Christian girl, notice what it says about her in verse 14:

"I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows."

Home girl had been to church. She’d made sacrifices like a good girl should and probably dropped a few coins in the offering plate, but she came home and acted however she wanted to. She checked the boxes of someone living for God, but ultimately chose to live for herself. That is what foolishness looks like.

Which brings me to you. Do you have the characteristics of a foolish woman? Here are some specific questions to help you think that through.

1. Do you tend to tell people what you think they want to hear even when it is an exaggeration or twist of the truth?
2. Do you talk to guys in a way that makes them think you’re interested in them?
3. Do you approach the guys you like first instead of waiting for them to pursue you?
4. Do you frequently find yourself in bad situations or situations where you are tempted to sin because you don’t have good boundaries in place?
5. What does the way that you dress communicate to those around you?
6. Do you need to be the center of attention?
7. Do you use your words, your talents, or your presence to grab the spotlight whenever possible?
8. Do you go to church, read your Bible, or go to youth group but tend to be someone else entirely when you are away from that scene?

I’m not looking for "right" answers here. I bet that foolish woman in Proverbs 7 could have told me what I wanted to hear if I’d given her the chance. (Remember how good she is at flattering with her words?) But I would love for you to use this list as a jumping off point to think about areas where you might be living like the foolish woman.

We’ll chat more about how the Bible defines foolishness on Thursday, but for now I’ve got to run. I’ve got a goat blog to launch!

PS: For more on the foolish woman, check out this great article on Proverbs 7 by Lies Young Women Believe author Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Raise your hand if you’ve been going to church since you were in the womb. Keep it up if you’ve celebrated at least fifteen Easters in church.

I can’t see those hands through the computer screen, but I am sure there are many of them raised. That’s a good thing! It’s great that so many of you are so familiar with the Easter story. But sometimes that means that when the day rolls around, we move into auto pilot—moving through the motions of pastel dresses, church services, and dinner with family without every pausing to consider why the empty tomb matters so much.

I don’t want you to miss it this year, so let’s start with the basics. As Christians, we set aside Easter to celebrate the fact that three days after Jesus was crucified, His friends came to His tomb to find it empty (John 20). At first they panicked, thinking His body had been stolen. Peter and John took off running to tell the bad news to the disciples. Mary Magdalene stayed at the tomb, glued there by her grief until she heard some of the most powerful words ever spoken …

"Woman, why are you crying?" (John 20:13).

Those words came from angels. They weren’t being insensitive. They simply already knew that her grief was misplaced. Jesus was not dead. He had risen. Soon afterward, Jesus Himself appeared to Mary, then to the disciples, and then to people throughout the region before ascending back to heaven and promising to prepare a place for those of us who love and follow Him.

The moment the empty tomb was discovered was a turning point, a game changer. In fact, it changed everything. Jesus was dead. His body was in a tomb that was sealed with a stone. Mary’s wept because her friend and Savior was buried. Because He is our Savior, too, our hope was buried with Him. Everything seemed dark.

But then … everything changed in an instant. Jesus didn’t stay in the grave. The grave was empty. He wasn’t dead. He was alive. Hope wasn’t buried. It was resurrected.

Here’s a little perspective on that reality.

Buddha’s body was cremated and placed into relics.
Muhammad is buried in a mosque in Saudi Arabia.
The founder of Scientology was cremated and his ashes were scattered in the Pacific Ocean.
The central figure of Rastafarianism is interred in a cathedral in Ethiopia.

Jesus alone conquered death and rose from the grave. It’s the most dramatic difference between Him and other spiritual leaders. The resurrection not only confirms His divinity, it reveals why Jesus is a safe place to put our hope.

Since He overcame death, there is nothing in our lives or in our world that Jesus cannot overcome.

To be clear, Easter is not about you. It is about a God so big that nothing, not even death, can defeat Him. But the reason we should celebrate with intentional gladness this Sunday is that there is nothing in our lives that is impossible for Jesus to overcome. There is nothing dead in our hearts or circumstances that He cannot breathe life back into.

Are there circumstances in your life that feel hopeless?
Have you had to "bury" something that you love dearly this year?
Are you facing something that feels impossible to overcome?

That’s good. You’re in a prime position to look into the empty tomb this Easter and see hope. There is nothing that can defeat Jesus. There is no power that can hold Him. There is nothing that can stop Him. All of that means He is a safe place to put our hope.

What’s the big deal about Easter? Simply put, Jesus is alive. May you worship Him with that in mind this Sunday.

Note: Portions of this post are taken from Erin’s book Beautiful Encounters: The Presence of Jesus Changes Everything, set to release June 1st.

I’ve often said there are two kinds of girls in this world. There are the diamond-loving girls, who would rather have one itty-bitty, sparkling piece of glass on their finger than a thousand rings made of cubic zirconium. And then there are the girls who prefer funk to flash. They’d rather have chunky bracelets and necklaces made of plastic than drop the dough required to wear the real stuff.

I myself hang out in the second group. I asked for a guitar for my sixteenth birthday. When my parents got me diamond earrings instead (my birthstone), I almost burst into tears. I never did become a rocker, but my love for costume jewelry has only grown since then. My bucket (yes, bucket) of fake, plastic jewelry is on my list of items I’d grab in a fire. Even so, I can appreciate the value of the real thing. There’s something special about a diamond that was mined from within the earth rather than being manufactured by a machine. When you set my plastic jewels beside the brilliance of a real diamond, it’s clear where the real value is.

Truth is like that.

Psalm 119:160 says this about the truth found in God’s Word:

All your words are true; all your righteous laws are eternal.

John 17:17 says, "Your word is truth."

It’s tempting to follow the crowd, to believe everything that seems true or to live as if there is no truth at all, only "my truth," "your truth" and the squishy stuff in-between, without every stopping to ask, "Is this true?"

That way of thinking may work for a while. You may sew together a patchwork theology of ideas about God that makes sense to you, but when you hold those ideas up to the real thing—God’s Word—it will be very clear they are fake.

Which makes me wonder … are you mining for truth?

Did you know the biggest diamond ever found was more than 3,000 carats? In its original size, it was about as big as a small apple. Now that’s a lot of bling! The man who was tasked with cutting the diamond into smaller diamonds was named Joseph Asscher. Because the diamond was so rare, Asscher studied the diamond for months before making a single cut.

Can you imagine studying one rock for months? (Yawn!) Why did Asscher do that? Because he had been given a treasure that was unbelievably valuable. In fact, the first time he tried to cut the diamond, he fainted from the pressure.

Girls, I want you to be diamond cutters. More specifically, I want you to be students of the diamond, the treasure, God gives us in His Word.

Proverbs 2 gives us this bold promise:

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you … if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God (vv. 1, 4–5, emphasis added).

Do you see the Bible as a treasure? Do you study it like you’re mining for precious silver?

Learning God’s Word won’t happen by accident. You can’t set your Bible on your nightstand and expect to find the kind of treasure God promises in His Word. Your youth pastor can’t download it into your brain. Your parents can’t force-feed it to you. You have to seek the treasure of God’s truth for yourself.

It will take work. It may feel like studying the same rock for months before making a single cut, but the treasure found in God’s Word is so valuable, it is worth the effort.

Sometimes, we all need a reminder that God’s Word is a treasure. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that the Bible is "living and active" and that it works like a sharp, two-edged sword, doing surgery on our hearts.

Do you need answers today?
Does your heart need some work in order to heal properly?
Is it hard for you to separate fake truth from the real deal?
Do you want to understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God?

If so, let me give you a simple action step today. Study God’s Word. Don’t study it like it’s homework or something you have to check off some invisible good girl to-do list. Study it like it’s a treasure (because it is!). Study it like it holds the answers to what you’re looking for (because it does!). Read it like you’re mining for something precious. Then hop right back here on the blog, and tell me what you discover.

Note: Portions of this post are taken from Erin’s latest book, My Name Is Erin: One Girl’s Journey To Discover Truth. Watch for it this summer.

The culture says it’s best to take partners for a "test drive" when it comes to sex before marriage. God’s Word says to save sex until after you say, "I do."

Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who really understands how sex is supposed to work?

One way to find out is to ask a bold question—who is having the best sex? The answer may surprise you.

The culture may be screaming that practice makes perfect when it comes to great sex. But proponents of that thinking simply aren’t doing their homework.

In an article titled "Sex Without Marriage Often Ruins People’s Health and Well-being," physician John R. Diggs Jr. outlined the specific and often devastating consequences of unmarried sex, including promiscuity, abortion, unstable family life, displacement of men, and exposure of women and children to high risks.

Clearly, sex outside of marriage is not "practice" without potential pitfalls. Perhaps that’s why research proves that married people are having the best sex. An article titled "Aha! Call It the Revenge of the Church Ladies" published in USA Today concluded that Christian women (and the men who sleep with them, aka their husbands) are among the most sexually satisfied people on the planet.

Yep. You read that right. According to a neutral, non-Christian magazine, Christian, married couples are having the best sex.

Why? Because sexual enjoyment flourishes in the context of a committed relationship. In contrast, sex outside of marriage isn’t "practice." It isn’t a "good opportunity to measure future sexual compatibility." It is outside of God’s plan and the result is baggage—not freedom. The very best sex comes from sticking to God’s plan.

Beyond simply waiting for great sex, there is a lesson here about God and His Word. When He asks us to wait for something, or to avoid it altogether, it isn’t to punish us or to keep us sidelined from the fun. When He gives us boundaries, it is always for our good.

Psalm 119:75 says, "I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous."

First John 5:3 says, "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome" (emphasis added).

The facts about great sex are just one example of the truth that God has our best in mind. His laws are for our good. The way He asks us to live is the very best path we can choose.

Is He asking you to wait for something right now? Do you wonder if the culture is right and you need to "test drive" those things that God asks you to postpone? If so, here’s a prayer, straight from God’s Word, that I want to encourage you to start praying:

Put false ways far from me
and graciously teach me your law!
I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
I set your rules before me.
I cling to your testimonies, O LORD;
let me not be put to shame!
I will run in the way of your commandments
when you enlarge my heart! (Ps. 119:29–32).

In Luke 8:51–52 Jesus approaches a crowd mourning the death of a twelve-year-old girl. His words to them may seem strange considering that they had good reason to be upset.

But He said, "Stop crying" (v. 52).

In Luke 7:13 He says the exact same words to a momma whose only son had died. She sure had reason to cry. Her situation was exceptionally hopeless. And yet …

"He said, ‘Don’t cry.’"

When we tell someone not to cry, it’s usually because we are uncomfortable with their emotions or because we think they’re overreacting. But when Jesus told people not to cry, it was because He had a plan to do something about their pain. He had the power to dry up their tears.

The crowd who was mourning the death of the young girl? Just a few minutes later they received the amazing news that Jesus had raised her back to life. The widow who was burying her only son? She saw Jesus raise him from the dead with her very own eyes.

In both cases Jesus said "don’t cry" because He was about to take the pain away.

But I bet there are things you’ve had to bury that Jesus has not raised back to life. I am sure there are situations that make you cry where it seems like Jesus has not intervened. It may feel like there’s no reason to stop crying over the things that cause you pain.

I get that. I do.

I’ve got junk in my own life that makes me cry. There are times when I cannot hold back the tears. When that happens, I tend to wonder where my miracle is. Does Jesus even see my tears?

It was in that state recently that I stumbled across this verse.

You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book? (Ps. 56:8).

Where is God when my tears start to flow? He’s keeping a tally of what makes me toss and turn. He’s collecting my tears in a bottle. He is recording them in a book.

In other words … He sees me. The things that keep me up at night don’t fly under His radar. He keeps a record of the junk that causes me pain.

And just what will He do with those tallies? What’s His plan for a bottle full of tears with my name on it? What’s the use of a book full of tears?

Revelation 21:4 gives the answer.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

I believe He is collecting my tears in a bottle because one day He will pour the bottle out and refill it with joy. He may not say "don’t cry" to me every time I am sad now, but a day is coming when He will, because He does have a plan to set all things right. It’s a promise that we can hold on tightly to whenever the tears start to flow.

What makes you cry these days?
What kind of tears is your bottle full of? Angry tears? Disappointed tears? Wounded tears? Shameful tears? Worried tears?

God sees them all. In fact, He keeps them in His collection, because one day He will look you in the eye and say, "Don’t cry." And when He does it will mean He’s dried up your tears—for good.

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! (Ps. 126:5).

Has anyone ever said something like this to you . . .

"Birds of a feather flock together."

"If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?"

Since we aren’t birds and our friends are unlikely to go cliff jumping, the message of these phrases can get a little lost in translation. Perhaps a few words from a juvenile court judge can clear the matter up.

Recently, an email from a former juvenile court judge found its way into my inbox. The focus of his email was prayer, but a few sentences he wrote at the beginning got me thinking about Y-O-U.

As a juvenile court judge, I often told young people who entered my court, "Show me who you are hanging around with, and I will show you what you are going to become like."

Scripture puts it this way: "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm" (Prov. 13:20).

You don’t have to enter a juvenile court room for these words to have meaning. The judge and the writer of Proverbs are preaching a simple message that all of us would be wise to remember.

1. When you spend your time with wise people, you will become wiser yourself.
2. When you spend your time with unwise people, you are guaranteed to get hurt.

I’m sure the judge could tell lots of stories of young criminals whose feet were set on the wrong path simply by choosing the wrong friends. I can tell you plenty of stories from my own life of times I got burned because I let myself be a "companion of fools." I bet you have some of those stories too.

Certainly, we should be friendly to non-Christians and are free to spend some time with people that might fall into the category of being "unwise." But our closest friends—the people we spend the most time with—should be wise. That means they should fear God—the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 9:10). And they should know and seek to live out the wisdom found in God’s Word. We should notice that when we’re around them, we become wiser ourselves.

So let me join the judge in asking you, do you have wise friends? If so, you get a gold star. Even more importantly, you get the promise that those friends will help you grow in your own walk with Christ. On the flipside, are you closest friends non-Christians? Or maybe they’re Christians who consistently make unwise choices or disregard the wisdom found in God’s Word. Be warned! Those girls are likely to cause you harm or to encourage you to do harm to yourself. (Ah . . . that’s what all that bridge jumping talk is about!)

The choice is simple, but not always easy. Choose wise friends, and gain wisdom. Choose unwise friends, and gain trouble and pain. So go on, and take the judge’s advice. Show us who you are hanging around with. Your answer will inevitably show us where you’re destined to end up.

Are there things about your school that you’d like to see God change?

Are there people on your campus who desperately need to know the powerful message of the gospel or the reach of God’s love?

Do you sometimes feel like the only one at your school who is willing to live like God’s called you?

If you answered "yes," let me follow up with one more question. (Zero guilt intended. Promise.)

When was the last time you prayed for your school?

With that question in mind, I’d like to invite you to check out this video, promoting the 2013 Collegiate Day of Prayer.

Will you join those who have already agreed to set aside the day to pray for campuses across the country? Will you pray for the college campus close to you on February 28, or make plans to pray for your own high school?

If so, leave us a comment to tell you what school you’ll be praying for just ten days from today.

PS: Click on this site for more info.

We talk a lot on this blog about waiting for God to bring the right kind of guy at the right time. It’s an important message. Much heartache has been caused by rushing into love or forcing a relationship that is outside the parameters of God’s best for you.

When it comes to love, I want you to wait well. But I also want you to know that waiting well doesn’t work like a magic formula. You can guard your purity. You can trust God with your love life. You can write lists and save pennies and work on being the right person for love, but none of that guarantees that you will end up happily married to the man of your dreams until death do you part.

I want to temper the good advice we’re offering you on this blog about waiting with the reality that God is in charge and He has not promised our version of a fairy tale ending, no matter how well we wait.

It’s a reminder that Lies Young Women Believe author Nancy Leigh DeMoss gives in the book Lies Women Believe. She addresses unfulfilled longings—those desires we have that go unmet. Nancy teaches two key lessons about unfulfilled longings that seem worth repeating this Valentine’s Day.

Lesson #1: We will always have unfulfilled longings this side of heaven.

"If we

could have all our longings fulfilled down here, we would easily be satisfied with staying here, and our hearts would never long for a better place," Nancy writes.

She goes on to point out that instead of taking matters into our own hands, we must learn to be content. Contentment means to be satisfied . . . to stop looking over the fence and admiring the green grass of other circumstances and to decide that the way your life is right now is okay with you. It’s an idea that reminds me of something the apostle Paul wrote:

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens me (Phil. 4:11–13).

Paul knew what it was like to go without, but he also knew a secret: contentment doesn’t come from having everything we want; it comes from looking to Christ for strength.

God may or may not grant your desire to be married just like He may not grant many other desires, even the things you really, really want. As you look at your life, do you take Paul’s approach? Have you learned to be content, even when things don’t go the way that you want them to? Single or married, in love or out, can you say that you are satisfied because your strength, joy, peace, etc. comes from God? That’s the sweet spot, and choosing to be content—even when things don’t go like you want them to—is even more important than simply waiting well.

Lesson #2: The deepest longings of our hearts cannot be filled by any created person or thing.

"This is one of the most liberating truths I have discovered in my own pilgrimage," Nancy writes. "For years, I looked to people and circumstances to make me happy. Time after time, when they failed to come through, I would find myself disgruntled and disappointed."

Do you feel like having a guy will make you happy? Would being married ease the disappointment you feel about your life? Maybe. For a while, but the truth is no person, no matter how great, can meet your deepest longings. That’s God’s job.

That’s the message I want to seek deep into your hearts today, girls. God is enough. He is the answer to:

• your loneliness.
• your longing to be loved.
• your desire to be known.
• your fears about the future.

I think it’s great to desire marriage. God designed it after all! I want you to wait for God’s timing for romance and to keep your eyes on Him while you wait. But I don’t want you to think of love like a race, where you will someday cross the finish line. Instead, know that married or unmarried unfulfilled longings are part of our citizenship on the planet. There will be things we want that we do not get and the deepest holes in our hearts can only be filled by God.

If you’re waiting for love this Valentine’s Day, let me encourage you to do more than wait well. Instead, be satisfied. Let God be enough for you today, and trust Him with the desires of your heart that have not been met yet.

What do you find most difficult about being content in your current circumstances? Leave us a comment to tell us about it. We’d love to pray with you that God would show you that He is enough.

Candy hearts. Chocolate kisses. Red roses. Yep. Tomorrow must be Valentine’s Day. It can be a great day for those who are in love. For those who are not, an entire holiday dedicated to romance can be a little (okay a lot!) discouraging.

I know that many of the readers of this blog are single. You have written to tell us that you are committed to God’s will when it comes to romance. To you I send out a colossal pat on the back. (I’d send you each a bag of chocolate if I could!) I know that waiting isn’t easy, especially when the whole world seems to be celebrating being in love.

That’s why I wanted to tell you Stephanie’s story. Stephanie knows what it’s like to wait for love. She also knows the rewards of waiting well with her eyes on Jesus. If you find yourself waiting this Valentine’s Day, be encouraged by Stephanie. She’d tell you that spending a few Valentine’s Days alone is a small price to pay for letting God write your love story.

Meet Stephanie. She’s my super-talented, super-fun, music-loving friend. She also happens to be thirty-nine years old. Oh, and she’s single. She’s been faithfully waiting for God to bring her the right man at the right time for a long time.

Several years ago, Stephanie decided to do something while she waited. She started collecting pennies. I’ve been with Stephanie when she’s seen a penny on a sidewalk. Watch out! Little old ladies and small children best not stand between Stephanie and a penny. That’s because for sixteen years Stephanie has put the pennies she finds in a jar. For more than six years she has saved every single penny she comes across. When she puts a penny in a jar, she prays this prayer:

Jesus, thank You that You are going to bring me the man of my dreams in Your timing. When You do, I will cash in these pennies to buy his wedding band.

The pennies keep Stephanie’s heart focused on God. Every penny is a reminder that God is good . . . He is faithful . . .He can be trusted. The pennies have become a reminder to trust, to wait patiently, and put her hope in God.

Stephanie isn’t the only one who needs this reminder. As people heard about Stephanie’s penny collection, they remembered that they are also called to put their hope in God and to wait patiently for His plan to unfold. They started sending her pennies as a thank-you. She has pennies in her penny jar from all over the world.

Stephanie has waited a long time. She’s collected a lot of pennies—over 20,000 to be exact.

Then one day last year, Stephanie met Eloy. (Eloy happens to be a super-talented, super-fun, music-loving guy!)

I happened to be in the room for that electric introduction. Sparks flew, but they were tempered by two hearts that had learned long ago to let God call the shots. After that day, Stephanie and Eloy prayerfully moved forward. They sought wise guidance from others who committed to pray. They looked to God for direction every step of the way.

God’s direction led to a diamond ring.

Next month, Stephanie will walk down the aisle to the groom she has waited so long for. Her promise will change from agreeing to faithfully wait on God’s timing to agreeing to faithfully be the wife God has called her to be. She will still need to put her hope in God. She will still need to keep her eyes on Him. And He will prove that He is still faithful, every step of the way.

What happens to the pennies? Well, Stephanie has officially cashed them in to buy Eloy’s wedding ring. On the inside she had these words inscribed, "Ur Worth Every Penny!"

I don’t know how many Valentine’s Days you will spend without a valentine, but I do know this: God is faithful. He can be trusted. His plan is what’s best for you. This year, instead of pining for love or pushing for romance, let me encourage you to start a penny collection of your own. Grab a jar. Toss in some pennies, and offer this prayer.

Jesus, I want You to be in charge of my love life. If it’s Your will, please bring me a man who loves You in Your timing. While I wait, I want You to know that You are my treasure.