The culture says it’s best to take partners for a "test drive" when it comes to sex before marriage. God’s Word says to save sex until after you say, "I do."
Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who really understands how sex is supposed to work?
One way to find out is to ask a bold question—who is having the best sex? The answer may surprise you.
The culture may be screaming that practice makes perfect when it comes to great sex. But proponents of that thinking simply aren’t doing their homework.
In an article titled "Sex Without Marriage Often Ruins People’s Health and Well-being," physician John R. Diggs Jr. outlined the specific and often devastating consequences of unmarried sex, including promiscuity, abortion, unstable family life, displacement of men, and exposure of women and children to high risks.
Clearly, sex outside of marriage is not "practice" without potential pitfalls. Perhaps that’s why research proves that married people are having the best sex. An article titled "Aha! Call It the Revenge of the Church Ladies" published in USA Today concluded that Christian women (and the men who sleep with them, aka their husbands) are among the most sexually satisfied people on the planet.
Yep. You read that right. According to a neutral, non-Christian magazine, Christian, married couples are having the best sex.
Why? Because sexual enjoyment flourishes in the context of a committed relationship. In contrast, sex outside of marriage isn’t "practice." It isn’t a "good opportunity to measure future sexual compatibility." It is outside of God’s plan and the result is baggage—not freedom. The very best sex comes from sticking to God’s plan.
Beyond simply waiting for great sex, there is a lesson here about God and His Word. When He asks us to wait for something, or to avoid it altogether, it isn’t to punish us or to keep us sidelined from the fun. When He gives us boundaries, it is always for our good.
Psalm 119:75 says, "I know, O LORD, that your rules are righteous."
First John 5:3 says, "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome" (emphasis added).
The facts about great sex are just one example of the truth that God has our best in mind. His laws are for our good. The way He asks us to live is the very best path we can choose.
Is He asking you to wait for something right now? Do you wonder if the culture is right and you need to "test drive" those things that God asks you to postpone? If so, here’s a prayer, straight from God’s Word, that I want to encourage you to start praying:
Put false ways far from me
and graciously teach me your law!
I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
I set your rules before me.
I cling to your testimonies, O LORD;
let me not be put to shame!
I will run in the way of your commandments
when you enlarge my heart! (Ps. 119:29–32).