3 Terrible Ways to Measure Your Ministry

First things first, I believe the Bible calls all of us into ministry. As followers of Christ, sharing the gospel (Mark 16:15), making disciples (Matt. 28:19), and caring for those in need (Matt. 25:35–40) are tasks assigned to all of us.

And probably in anticipation of our tendency to compare, God makes it clear in His Word that the ways we minister may look different, but it all matters. Just like the parts of a body are all needed, each of us must do our part for Christ’s body to work at maximum efficiency (1 Cor. 12).

Having a ministry can look a million different ways:

  • It might look like teaching kindergarten Sunday school.
  • It might look like mentoring a young, single mom.
  • It might look like leading worship.
  • It might look like writing books.
  • It might look like raising children to know and follow Christ.
  • It might look like managing a blog.
  • It might look like knitting warm hats.
  • It might look like praying like crazy.

I could keep going, but there really isn’t space inside my brain or in this blog post to paint a picture of all of the forms that ministry can take.

So, if you are a Christian seeking to live like God calls you to live, chances are you have a ministry.

I’ve learned the hard way that when it comes to ministry, too often we use the wrong ruler to gauge our success. Maybe you’ve fallen into the same trap. Here are three terrible ways to measure the impact of your ministry.

  1. People love you.

    Selling a bajillion books, gaining oodles of Twitter followers, packing the seats of a sanctuary . . . these are not good indicators of successful ministry. We tend to think that if people are showing up with smiles on their faces, God is blessing, but this is not the pattern we see in the Bible.

    How’s this for a mind-bending truth?

    “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets” (Luke 6:22–23).

    The Bible doesn’t say you’re blessed when everyone pats you on the back. It doesn’t say it’s awesome when you’ve been propelled to superstardom in the Kingdom of Christ. Nope. The Bible says we should jump up and down with joy when people hate us. We should rejoice when we are left out because of our faith. We are in the company of the spiritual giants who go before us when our ministry repels some people instead of drawing them in.

    There is a balance to be struck here. If the gospel is your core message, growth is a good thing. As you are impacting people for the Kingdom, they are bound to want to pat you on the back. But if you stick your finger into the wind of public opinion to determine the success of your Kingdom work, it will feel like a wild goose chase.

  2. There is immediate fruit.

    I once mentored a young woman named Amanda. Every single Wednesday for more than a year, I picked her up from school, took her out for pizza, and tried to get her to care about Jesus. She was a closed book! She sealed up her heart like a vault at Fort Knox. She never opened up to me, never showed enthusiasm for what I was showing her in the Word, never gave any indication of interest in the things of God.

    Just because the impact isn’t immediately felt, doesn’t mean what you’re doing for the Kingdom isn’t fruitful.

    If you had asked me during that year, or in the several years following, if my ministry with Amanda was fruitful, I would have said, “No way!” But there was growth in Amanda’s heart I could not yet see.

    Fast forward nearly ten years, and I got a letter from Amanda. She told me what a difference that year made in her life. She wrote about God’s Word like the living and active book I so wanted her to take interest in. She told me she’s now a wife and a momma, seeking to honor Jesus in her home. Spiritual fruit hung in big bunches from her life, but it didn’t grow quickly. That growth took years.

    In Matthew 13:4–8 Jesus told us this would happen.

    “And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear.”

    Did you know that radishes grow quickly? In only twenty-five days you can plant a radish seed and then pull it up and eat it with your dinner. Pears, on the other hand, grow slowly. It can take up to twelve years for a pear to grow from a seed to ripe, juicy fruit, ready to eat.

    I don’t know about you, but I’d take a pear over a radish any day of the week. Sometimes the best fruit takes time to develop. That’s as true in ministry as it is in vegetable gardening.

    Just because the impact isn’t immediately felt, doesn’t mean what you’re doing for the Kingdom isn’t fruitful.

  3. The sailing is smooth.

    Confession: I wrote this blog post for myself. I have a bad habit of throwing my hands in the air and assuming I’m doing ministry all wrong whenever the road gets rocky. But Bible says that trials are simply par for the course. In fact, we can respond to trials with that same jumping-up-and-down joy that we do to criticism because they help us minister for the long haul.

    “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2–4).

    If he was using ease as the gauge for success, Paul would have hung up his hat. Likewise, we shouldn’t determine our effectiveness by whether or not the going is easy. (Did you hear that, Erin?)

Who’s In Charge of Growth?

So how can you know if you are ministering effectively? It may seem crazy . . . but I’m not sure you can.

In 1 Corinthians 3:6–7, Paul said this about ministry. “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.”

Ultimately, the fruit of your efforts aren’t up to you. You can’t predict how God will grow your ministry nor can you control it. You can be faithful, looking for opportunities to share and to serve everywhere you go, and at the end of the day, you can lay down your garden tools and trust God with the fruit.

Speaking of gardens and fruit, here’s a promise for all who minister. There will be a harvest, friend. I look forward to reaping it together with you.

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Gal. 6:9).

What promises keep you going as you do ministry for the Kingdom?

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Ministry Is Messy.”

 

Sticking Your Neck Out for Others



Editor’s Note:
This is Day 14 of our 15-Day Heart Prep series for True Woman ’14.

Don’t miss a thing at True Woman ’14. Get the True Woman ’14 App to keep updated with bonus material, schedules, maps, speaker information, resources, and more!


There will be a Teen Track for girls in 9th–12th grade led by Dannah Gresh and Erin Davis. Young women will explore biblical truth on topics that are relevant to their lives and spend some exciting time in plenary sessions with their mothers and other adult women who attend the event. 

Prisca (later changed to Priscilla) and Aquilla were my kind of people. They had a ferocious love for Jesus and His people. We know from 1 Corinthians 16:19 that they hosted a New Testament church in their home. Their willingness to serve made a difference, because Paul gives them several shout-outs in the New Testament, always sending his greetings to Prisca and Aquilla accompanied by high praise for their kingdom work:

“Greet Prisca and Aquilla, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks but all the churches of the Gentiles give thanks as well” (Rom. 16:3–4, emphasis added).

In Romans 16:3–4 we see that these were people who were willing to take risks for God’s glory. Paul says, “they risked their necks for my life.” In this case, Prisca and Aquilla may have literally risked their lives for Paul, but they were “sticking their necks out” in other ways. They were risking their comfort by hosting a church in their home. They were putting their reputations on the line. And let’s face it, investing in others is always risky. Just because you stick your neck out for someone does not mean they will return the favor.

It is impossible to live the Christian life without risk.

But these two took big risks for the kingdom, and I doubt they did it for Paul’s praise. Paul was clear. These were his family members in Christ, fellow laborers in the task of making and training disciples. They were motivated by their love for Jesus and the calling He had placed on their lives.

As Christian women, we get to join the ranks of followers like Prisca and Aquilla. We are also fellow workers in Christ Jesus as we seek to do the kingdom work God has called each of us to. And I have a hunch that as thousands of us gather to seek the Lord together at True Woman ’14, He will call each of us to follow the lead of individuals like Prisca and Aquilla by sticking our necks out for Him. That might look like:

  • Finally forgiving that person who hurt you so deeply.
  • Agreeing to be the wife God calls you to be, even if your husband never changes.
  • Standing up for biblical womanhood in a culture that is hostile toward God’s design for gender.
  • Hosting a True Woman event in your local church after True Woman ’14.
  • Confessing an area of sin that has kept you sidelined from loving and serving God’s people.

It is impossible to live the Christian life without risk. It is impossible to be a true woman of God without personal liability. But since Jesus stuck His neck way out for us, we are free to take risks for His name’s sake.


As you prepare to head to True Woman ’14, would you be willing to ask the Lord to make you more like Prisca and Aquilla by praying this bold prayer: Lord, at True Woman show me how I can stick my neck out for you and your people. Amen.

Helpful Tip for True Woman ’14 Attendees:

Be sure to bring your Bible and a pen!

LIVE Stream:

If you aren’t able to join us for True Woman ’14, be sure to watch via LIVE Stream Oct. 9–11.

I Refuse to Be Embarrassed

My six-year-old is easily embarrassed. If his hair is going haywire or he makes a mistake in front of others, it is likely to result in tears. When he’s really embarrassed, he has a habit of finding a corner or a piece of furniture under which he can duck and hide.

Heightened self-consciousness is a normal part of development for my kindergartener. As his world expands, he is suddenly (and painfully) focused on fitting in. Being different in any way makes him uncomfortable. I have no doubt that he’ll work through it, and I’ll have my fearless boy back again soon (until the teenage years!), but his sudden tendency to blush so easily has me thinking about my own insecurities.

If I choose to believe what God says about me is true, insecurity doesn’t stand a chance.

It’s been a long time since I was six years old, but not so long since I wanted to impress others. Maybe I will never fully outgrow my desire to fit in or my fear of sticking out. But, after almost twenty years as a Christian, I can tell I am growing in grace because I blush less often. I still like to be liked, but it is no longer the end-all, be-all.

In fact, one of the unexpected “perks” of being a Christ follower is that the more I focus on Him, the less bandwidth I have to focus on me. The more I live my life Christ-conscious, the less self-conscious I feel.

Identity Check

One of the areas that has been most revolutionized by my relationship with Jesus has been my understanding of my identity. Through His Word, the Lord has sweetly helped me to see myself as He sees me. It isn’t always easy, but I’ve learned to cling to truths like:

  • I am God’s beloved (Ps. 127:2).
  • His love for me is everlasting (Jer. 31:3).
  • I am God’s ambassador (Eph. 6:20).
  • I am His adopted daughter (2 Cor. 6:18).
  • My weaknesses highlight His strength (2 Cor. 12:10).
  • I am highly valued (Luke 12:7).

If I choose to believe (and it is a choice) that what God says about me is true, insecurity doesn’t stand a chance. Embarrassment is the byproduct of worrying what others think of me. In contrast, security can be found in choosing to care most about what God thinks of me.

The List

Sometimes, as women, we live like who we are in Christ is just a theory instead of letting the powerful truths He outlines about us in His Word really change us. I don’t want to live like that! I don’t want to be like my little guy, running and hiding over things that don’t matter. I don’t want to make choices rooted in fear of failure or embarrassment. I want to stand tall, shoulders back and chin high, on the foundation of who God declares me to be.

That’s why, I’ve been working on a list of all the things I don’t have to be embarrassed about anymore. Here’s what I’ve got so far . . .

  • I refuse to be embarrassed by my shape and size because I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Ps. 139:14).
  • I refuse to be embarrassed about my house made messy by three small boys, because children are a blessing (Ps. 127:3).
  • I refuse to be embarrassed about taking time to rest and refuel, since I am following Jesus’ lead (Mark 6:31).
  • I refuse to be embarrassed about not being “in the know” as I seek to conform less and be transformed more (Rom. 12:2).
  • I refuse to be embarrassed by saying “no” to lesser things in order to avoid the pitfalls of busyness (Luke 10:41–42).

Those are just a few of the ways I’m refusing to be embarrassed because of who I am in Christ. What’s on your list? Add it in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Growing in Grace Like a Preschooler.”

 

Four Ways to Spot a Bitter Root

Every good gardener knows that you can’t chop weeds. Try to go after those buggers with a weed eater, and you’ll get nowhere in a hurry. You’ve got to rip weeds up by the roots. Otherwise, they will just keep coming back and when they do, they’re bound to bring more and more of their weedy friends.

It’s no accident that God uses the image of a weed to describe a particular sin that has a way of creeping into all of our hearts. . . bitterness.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Heb. 12:15).

Bitterness isn’t one of those big, flashy sins that you can see growing above the surface of our hearts. It may not show off like anger or produce big ol’ hunks of rotten fruit like disobedience. Bitterness is a sleeper sin. It grows beneath the surface, down deep in the soil of our hearts.

But the author’s warning in Hebrews is clear—that bitter root will one day sprout and when it does, “many will become defiled.” In other words, if that bitter root keeps growing there will be a harvest of pain for you and the people in your world. And because bitterness is a weedy sin that burrows in our hearts first, we can’t just cut off the behaviors that bitterness causes. (We will get to those in a minute). We need the Lord’s help to yank that baby up by the root.

The Pack That Bitterness Travels In

Ephesians 4:31 says,

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with malice.”

Paul is describing a cluster of emotions here that come along with bitterness. I know from experience that bitterness almost always travels in a nasty pack. When bitterness is taking root in my heart, usually wrath is too. The same goes for anger, slander, and malice.

Our pastor directed my husband and me to this passage as part of our pre-marital counseling. He described these emotions as a progression.

  • If we don’t deal with bitterness, that bitterness will progress toward extreme anger (that’s wrath).
  • If we don’t deal with the anger, we will start to clamor or demand what we want.
  • If that doesn’t work we will start to talk bad about the object of our bitterness in the hopes of recruiting others to agree with and justify our feelings (that’s slander).
  • If that goes unchecked we will eventually have a desire to cause harm to the person we are bitter toward.

All along the way, people are hurt, relationships are derailed, joy is stolen, and the Fruit of the Spirit growth is stunted.

Four Ways to Spot a Bitter Root

With so much on the line, it is wise to ask ourselves often, “Am I bitter?” Since bitterness is a sleeper sin, the answer isn’t always obvious. Here are four questions to help you spot a bitter root.

Am I replaying the tapes?

Do you find yourself constantly replaying the tapes of a conversation with someone? When you interact with her, do you spend days rehashing every word or body language cue?

Bitterness flourishes in the soil of justification. I’ve found that when I fixate on my interactions with a specific individual, I am looking for justification for the anger or frustration I am feeling in a relationship. I’ve learned that if I find myself replaying the tapes often, I should see it as red flag that something is off in my own heart.

Is my mouth out of control?

Romans 3:14 says, “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”

There is a connection between the junk that comes out of our mouths and the bitterness that tends to take root in our hearts. Do you find yourself losing your cool often? Are you critical, snappy, rude? Maybe the sins you are committing with your mouth are simply an extension of the bitterness that you have allowed to grow in your heart. If you are trying to deal with the way you speak and gaining no ground, it’s possible that you need to dig deeper and yank out the root of the problem.

Am I sick?

Psychologist Dr. Carsten Wrosch has studied bitterness for fifteen years. He says,

“When harbored for a long time, bitterness may forecast patterns of biological dysregulation (a physiological impairment that can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function) and physical disease.”

Scientists have concluded that bitterness, if left unchecked, interferes with the body’s hormonal and immune systems. Bitter people tend to have higher blood pressure and heart rate and are much more likely to die of heart disease and other illnesses.

Of course, the apostle Paul didn’t have access to this scientific data when he wrote much of the New Testament, but that didn’t keep him from connecting the dots between bitterness and our bodies. In Acts 8:23 Paul describes the “gall of bitterness.” It’s a bile, bitter substance that can literally make us sick.

Is my clan bitter?

The “bitter root” in Hebrews 12:15 is first described in Deuteronomy 29:18.

“Beware lest there be among you a man or a woman or a clan or tribe whose heart is turning away today from the Lord or God to go and serve the gods of those nations. Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit.”

Like all weeds, bitterness has a way of spreading. This passage describes one possible progression. A man infects his wife. She infects her children. The bitterness spreads and soon the whole tribe is infected.

  • Is your marriage marked by bitterness?
  • Are your children bitter?
  • Does your group of friends tend to sit around and gripe?
  • Is your church filled with harsh and angry people?
  • Is your community prone to placing blame?

Is it possible that your own bitterness has had a ripple effect and that the poisonous root has burrowed past your own heart and into the hearts of the people you love?

Trust the Gardener

In John 15:1, Jesus said, “I am the true vine and my Father is the Gardener.” If those questions revealed some weedy roots, would you join me in this prayer?

Father, I confess my bitterness to you. Please show me how to get rid of the bitter root. Replace it with the Fruit of your Holy Spirit. Amen.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “

Your Sin Is Not in Your Junk Drawer

Is your sin really hiding in your junk drawer?

I’ve got a junk drawer so full of junk that it is renting storage space from three other drawers.

I can’t see the top of my washing machine. It is covered in soap, rags, laundry baskets, and an army of Lego men rescued from the dryer.

I haven’t cleaned out my closet since the last time we moved.

We think God is most concerned with our productivity. The truth is, He is most concerned with our holiness.

Despite my desire to live a tidy and organized life, I’m disorganized and scattered. I often find myself wishing God would give me a twenty-eight-hour day instead of the standard twenty-four. I just can’t seem to squeeze everything on my to-do list in between the hours when my alarm goes off and when I fall into bed praying the baby will let me catch a few winks.

I know I’m not the only woman frustrated by disorganization and inefficiency. But girls, it’s time we get real about how big of a deal our junk drawer really is. (Hint: It’s not).

An Irritating Fact

Several months ago, I was doing research for a writing project when I accidently stumbled onto a Barna study about Christian women and spiritual health. As I read, these stats jumped out at me.

When asked about sin struggles . . .

  • 50% of women listed disorganization as their number one struggle.
  • 42% of women listed inefficiency.

These were the top two struggles listed.

Something about that study stuck like a grain of sand in my heart. It irritated me, but I wasn’t sure why. But after a while, through the lens of my own heart, this pearl emerged.

As women, we think God is most concerned with our productivity. The truth is, He is most concerned with our holiness.

Which Mark Are You Missing?

The fact that half of Christian women would list disorganization as their number one sin struggle tells me that we don’t know (or we don’t like) what sin is.

Sin is not simply those nagging habits that we would like to change about ourselves. It isn’t the things that make our lives less than magazine-spread perfect. It’s not something that can be cured in ten easy organizational steps.

While God calls us to work hard as if doing all things for Him, His love for us is not tied to our ability to perform.

First John 3:4 defines sin this way, “Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.”

When we violate the law of God, found in His Word, we sin. We live in a culture that highly values productivity. Certainly, getting things done matters. But disorganization and inefficiency do not violate God’s law.

Deuteronomy 9:7 and Joshua 1:18 define sin as rebellion against God.

When you don’t master your to-do list who or what are you rebelling against? Your own expectations? Maybe. A culture that gives gold stars for productivity at all costs. Sure. But God is not disappointed in you when your to-do list is not wrapped in a tidy bow at the end of the day. Being disorganized is not rebellion against God or His law.

I’ve often heard sin defined as “missing the mark.” This is backed up by Romans 3:23 which says, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”

Yes, we are all sinners because we all fall short of the glory and perfection of God, not because there is dirty laundry on the floor and expired cheese in the refrigerator. Jesus didn’t die to redeem your junk drawer. He died to redeem you from your tendency to run in the opposite direction of God and His plans for your life.

Don’t Waste Your Guilt

Certainly a clean and organized home is a worthy goal. There’s nothing wrong with getting organized. (You naturally organized girls were already typing me a letter on your label makers, weren’t you?)

Too many of us feel more guilty about the state of our homes than we do about the condition of our hearts.

But if half of us think falling short in the area of productivity is our number one problem, our priorities are out of whack with God’s. As a result, too many of us feel more guilty about the state of our homes than we do about the condition of our hearts.

I can’t help but wonder . . . as women, are we wasting valuable time and energy feeling guilty about our messy homes instead of asking the Lord to work in our messy lives? Are we going to war against sin with the same vigor and determination that we go to war against clutter?

And for me, here is the question at the root of it all:

Do we get that while God calls us to work hard as if doing all things for Him (Eph. 6:7), His love for us is not tied to our ability to perform.

In fact, God doesn’t shake His finger at messy. He uses our messes to proclaim His message. He uses our shortcomings as an opportunity to highlight our need for Him.

A Strange Poster Child for Prioritizing

Admittedly, I have some All-American girl, first-born achiever hang ups. I have a tendency to measure my value on my ability to perform. That’s probably why the story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10 has always gotten on my nerves.

Martha is knocking performance out of the park. The Savior comes over to her house and she puts on a fabulous dinner party. Her sister, Mary, on the other hand, get’s the “Atta girl” from Jesus for just sitting at His feet, making Mary a strange poster child for how we are to order our lives.

“But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to [Jesus] and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her'” (Luke 10:40–41).

Based on this passage, I have a feeling that Martha would be among the 50% of women who list disorganization and inefficiency as her primary struggles. She just couldn’t seem to keep all of the plates spinning. But we need this story because it reminds us of a deeper truth.

Yes, having a clean house is good! Certainly, we should seek to show hospitality to others and to use our homes for God’s glory. Organization is a good thing too. It helps to smooth out the wrinkles in our day . . . but these are not the best portion. Productivity and organization should not be our primary goal or the measuring stick by which we calculate our value.

With that in mind, can I encourage you to examine your own life? Ask God to reveal the true sin in your life (remember sin violates God’s law) and to help you to repent. Ask Him to show you what true sin is and to see clearly if you are beating yourself up about something that doesn’t matter to Him.

Let’s ask God for strength to run toward holiness. If we can have a clean junk drawer and get the laundry caught up in the process, great. If not, let’s ask God to make us women who always choose the better portion.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “The Fine Art of Selection.”

 

Freebie Friday! The Gospel Is a Love Story

Freebie Friday

Did you know that you can put the gospel on display just by being a girl? It’s true!

This week we are giving away a CD recording of some of my favorite ladies talking about how embracing God’s design for gender helps present a picture of God to the world. It’s good stuff.

Simply answer the questions in this survey to be entered to win a free copy of the CD, “The Gospel is a Love Story” featuring Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Holly Elliff, Dannah Gresh, and Mary Kassian (and I’m on there too!).

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Psst . . . BIG changes are coming to liesyoungwomenbelieve.com. Be sure to check back often. You won’t want to miss this!

Can I Know If I'm Saved?

Can I Know If I'm Saved?

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply. This week we will look at how to know that you are saved.

I decided I would stick around after youth group.

As my youth pastor picked up trash and straightened chairs, I shuffled toward him.

"What’s up, Erin?" he asked.

"I just don’t feel like I’m saved," I said. "How can I know for sure?"

Living the Christian life with that much doubt isn’t fun. It leads to fear, worry, and anxiety and can rob us of joy and peace.

I’d had this same conversation with my youth pastor before. Lots of times. And with my parents. And with my Christian friends. Every time I heard a sermon on heaven or hell or salvation I wondered, Am I really saved? Honestly, their answers never did much to ease my fears.

I can say from experience that living the Christian life with that much doubt isn’t fun. It leads to fear, worry, and anxiety and can rob us of joy and peace. It’s a roller-coaster ride you don’t have to buy a ticket for.

First John 5:11–12 says, "And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this is life in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life."

We have a tendency to overcomplicate things. John says if we have the Son (Jesus) we have eternal life.

And here is the icing on the cake.

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life (v. 13).

Your salvation doesn’t need to be a guessing game! Here are four questions to ask the next time you doubt your salvation.

  1. Do I understand the gospel?

    Part of the reason we decided to spend an entire month on the gospel is because it is possible to hear the gospel and somehow misunderstand it. When that happens, we are bound to question if Jesus really saved us from our sins. If you’re not sure if you understand the gospel, check out this post.

  2. Do I think salvation depends on me?

    If you secretly think you have to earn your salvation, you are destined for a lifetime of doubt. Every time you sin or fall short of God’s standards, you will wonder if God has retracted His offer for salvation because He is disappointed in you.

    Romans 5:15–16 says, "But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many. And the free gift is not like the result of that one man’s sin. For the judgment following one trespass brought condemnation, but the free gift following many trespasses brought justification."

    Why do you think Paul saw fit to mention the "free gift" four times in four sentences? I bet it’s because he knew we would get gospel amnesia and that we would forget that salvation is a free gift Jesus offered us, not something He expected us to earn. (Get it? It’s FREE!)

  3. Do I think feelings are facts?

    One day you’re feeling totally pumped about your Christian life, the next you can barely muster the energy to read your Bible. One day you feel totally confident in God’s love for you, the next you doubt how He could ever love someone like you. One day you feel ready to do whatever God calls you to. The next day you’re riddled with fear about God’s plans for your life.

    Feelings are a terrible barometer for the truth. Instead, build your confidence on the promises of God’s Word.

  4. Am I listening to good teachers?

    There are several places in the New Testament where the confidence of believers’ was shaken because of false teachers. The apostles often wrote to them offering assurances and pointing them back to the truth of the gospel (see Rom. 6, Gal. 1, 2 Pet. 2:1, and Jude 1:3–4).

    If you are dealing with chronic doubts, make sure that the books you are reading, podcasts you are downloading, and sermons you are listening to are backed by God’s Word.

Are you a doubter? If so, I’d love to hear your answers to these four questions, but I also want to give you a very practical homework assignment.

Will you write out this verse on a card or piece of paper and put it somewhere where you can see it often? Ask the Lord to marinate your heart in this truth in the days to come.

And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this is life in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life (1 John 5:11–13).

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A Gospel for Serial Killers

A Gospel for Serial Killers

Ted Bundy was convicted of killing thirty-six women and girls, making him one of the most notorious serial killers of all time. While waiting on death row for his execution, Ted turned his life over to Jesus and became a Christian. He repented publicly for his crimes and spent his final night praying with his pastor.

Ted Bundy was a rapist.

Ted Bundy was a murderer.

Ted Bundy was a liar.

Assuming Ted Bundy really did confess his sins and put his whole trust in Jesus, today Ted is in heaven with Jesus.

The gospel applies to people in every nation and age bracket. It is for "good" people and really, really bad people.

Many people have questioned Ted’s conversion. I guess it’s hard for our minds to conceive that someone guilty of such evil could truly turn from their wicked ways and run toward Jesus. But I can only assume that Ted’s decision to become a Christian was legit. If I’m honest, there’s a part of me that is irritated by it. How could Jesus forgive a serial killer? That’s not fair!

God must have of known I would have this internal tug of war, because He addressed it often in His Word. Though not an easy pill to swallow, here is some hard-hitting truth about who really deserves the gospel and how to wrap our heads around the fairness of God.

The Good News is For All People

When the angel told the shepherds about the birth of Jesus, he announced it this way: "And the angel said to them, ‘Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10).

The angel wasn’t talking in generalizations. He wasn’t from the south, using the term "all" like "y’all" to include whoever was standing around at the moment. The Good News of Christ’s coming was for all people.

Jesus repeated this idea in Mark 16:15 when He gave the Great Commission.

And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."

The gospel is for all people. It applies to people in every nation and age bracket. It is for "good" people and really, really bad people. It is for young and old people. It is for people who have gone to church their whole lives and people who have never sat in a pew.

The Gospel is for Sinners

For most of us, there is a pocket of our hearts that questions if God’s grace should really extend to them. This is nothing new.

In Matthew 9, Jesus called Matthew to be a disciple. Matthew was a tax collector. Meaning, Matthew was scum. Nobody liked tax collectors because they were notorious thieves and schemers. So when Jesus called Matthew, the Pharisees got their feathers ruffled.

And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" But when he heard it, he said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (vv. 11–13).

The gospel is not about making clean lives even cleaner. It’s not about making good people even better good people. It is about extending undeserved grace to those who have earned death because of their sin. The end result is that we get to become more like Jesus.

Be Glad God Is Generous

In Matthew 20, Jesus told a story designed to give us perspective on who deserves His grace. You can read the entire thing in Matthew 20:1–16.

Here are the highlights:

  • A man needs workers to work in his vineyard.
  • Early in the morning, he recruits a group of workers and agrees to pay them a denarius for a day of work. (That’s about $20.)
  • The men get right to work.
  • About mid-morning the vineyard owner goes to the grocery store and hires two more workers. He agrees to pay them $20, too.
  • He goes out again at noon and then in the late afternoon. Each time he hires more workers, always for the same wage.
  • At the end of the day, he paid all of the workers $20, no matter how long they worked.
  • The guys who had been working all day were mad! They couldn’t believe that the guys who had only been working an hour or two were paid the same amount that they were for working all day.

The vineyard owner replied this way, "Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity? So the last will be first, and the first last" (vv. 13–16).

If I’m honest, I often feel like those workers who got hired first. Because I’ve known Jesus a long time, I feel entitled to greater blessings from Him. But God has the right to do what He wants. (He’s God after all!) He certainly doesn’t need me armchair-quarterbacking when it comes to the salvation of others.

And more importantly . . .

God’s generosity has been a great gift to me. At the end of the day, I shouldn’t want God to be "fair," because that would mean that I deserve punishment instead of grace. Instead of secretly hoping God will be stingy toward others, we can celebrate His crazy generosity.

The Thief Beside You

Jesus was crucified between two thieves. They admitted they were guilty. What happened to them might fit into our definition of "fair." They were getting what they deserved.

One thief mocked Jesus, never admitting his need for him.

But one recognized Jesus’ divinity and innocence. He publicly proclaimed his desire to be with Jesus forever.

And [Jesus] said to him, "Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise" (Luke 23:43).

That thief didn’t deserve paradise. He never did a single thing to earn grace. He didn’t go to church, didn’t lead a Bible study, didn’t pay back the money he had stolen . . . but God’s grace is crazy big. He offers it to us freely because He loves us, not because we’ve done anything to earn it.

Maybe it’s not serial killers or thieves who make you question the fairness of the gospel.

  • Maybe it’s that girl at school who is into such dark stuff that you don’t even bother to pray for her.
  • Maybe it’s people from a certain religion that you think would never accept the truth.
  • Maybe it’s someone who hurt you so deeply you secretly hope they will have to pay a heavy price for their sin.

The bottom line is that the gospel isn’t fair. None of us deserve the gift of grace that God so freely offers. With that in mind, would you ask God to show you where you have "begrudged His generosity" toward others, and then start praying radical prayers for the lost around you?

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6 Truths to Remember When a Christian Leader Screws Up Royally

When a Christian leader you’d looked up to and learned from screws up royally (and unfortunately it’s not a matter of if but when you’ll experience this), I know what you’ll want to do. You’ll want to block them on Facebook and delete their pictures on your Instagram account and burn their books and reject every truth they ever taught you but apparently didn’t live themselves.

A flood of emotions will bombard you from all sides—anger, disbelief, revulsion, guilt for not having seen through their hypocrisy. Your stomach will hurt, your head will ache, you’ll feel like throwing up. You won’t be able to understand how they could’ve preached against the very thing they were doing in secret.

When that happens, go ahead and weep. Let it tear you up. God’s glory is at stake. Pour out all your emotions to God like David does in the Psalms. In fact, that might be a great book of the Bible to camp out in for a while!

Always remember that anything good you see in a Christian leader—if it truly is good—is only a result of Jesus Christ making His home in them.

While your emotions are churning, though, it’s important to remember that your emotions are tied to your thoughts and beliefs. When a Christian leader you looked up to screws up royally, here are six truths to remember that will help tame your wild emotions:

  1. Only God is good. Jesus said it Himself in Mark 10:18: "No one is good except God alone." Boy, we forget this all the time, don’t we? We set men and women up on pedestals and follow them rather than following the God to whom they’re pointing. Always remember that anything good you see in a Christian leader—if it truly is good—is only a result of Jesus Christ making His home in them.
  2. Truth is still truth, whether they lived it or not. Romans 1:18 doesn’t say man’s unrighteousness disproves the truth—He says it suppresses the truth. This is why God’s wrath is revealed from heaven, because He takes the truth very seriously! Truth is still truth—even if it’s hard to distinguish it through the lie of their life.

    It’s also entirely possible that they twisted the truth. Open your Bible, and search out truth for yourself. Don’t just do this when a leader fails but anytime a leader teaches or writes or preaches (Acts 17:11).

  3. "But for the grace of God, there go I.” Be careful if you think you’re above ever stooping to that level. We’re warned in 1 Corinthians 10, "Let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man" (vv. 12–13). You will probably be tempted in a similar way someday. When that happens, God promises He’ll provide a way of escape (v. 13)—it’ll be up to you to take it. When that happens, run far, far away as fast as your little legs will take you. Don’t linger and dream about what it might be like to toy with sin just a little.
  4. God still loves them. Their sin hasn’t "chilled" God’s love for them. Remember, He died for them while they were still His enemies (Rom. 5:10)! The fact that their sin was discovered by others is actually God’s mercy. Romans 2:4 tells us that God’s kindness is meant to lead us to repentance. If they don’t repent and trust in Christ’s righteousness on their behalf, you can be sure they’ll experience God’s wrath in the future (Rom. 2:5). But for now, He waits patiently, kindly, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance (2 Pet. 3:9).
  5. Repentance is a process. If you’re like me, you’ll expect that leader to repent immediately. To confess their sin and bring it out into the light and turn from it back to the Lord. That’s certainly God’s desire, too! But this won’t always happen right away.

    When King David (a man who genuinely loved God) had sex with another man’s wife and then had that man murdered in order to cover up his sin, it was at least nine months before he acknowledged, "I have sinned against the LORD" (2 Sam. 12:13). Pray that God would give the leader you looked up to godly sorrow leading to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10).

  6. Not everyone who claims to be a Christ-follower actually is one. First John 2:19 tells us that only the person who finishes well was actually ever saved: "If they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us." Not that believers never stumble (remember King David!). But if they really are Christ-followers, you will see them repent and return to their original faith in Christ’s righteousness on their behalf.

If you’ve ever had a "Christian" leader fail big time, what other truths have you clung to? If it hasn’t happened to you yet, is there someone you need to take off your pedestal? Remember, no one but God is ultimately good.

And don’t forget to pray for your leaders. A great prayer is found at the end of the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:13: "Lead [them] not into temptation, but deliver [them] from evil." Which leader can you commit to praying for regularly?

A Freebie Friday Double Whammy!

Freebie Friday

I totally forgot to send out a Freebie Friday post last week. My bad!

To make up for my slack, we are giving away two books this week. Yep, TWO books! It’s a Freebie Friday double whammy!

Since we are focusing on the gospel this month on the blog, our giveaways this week have a gospel focus. Here is this week’s swag.

ESV Gospel Transformation Bible

The goal of this Bible is to help readers see Jesus in all of the Bible. This study Bible will help lead you to Jesus over and over with notes that point you to the gospel and give you practical application for God’s Word.

If you already have a great study Bible, consider using this one to participate in our Lazarus Project, and ask God to raise your school from the dead.

Because He Loves Me by Elyse Fitzpatrick

This book (complete with study questions and invitations to further study) is designed to rescue you from "identity amnesia" and point you toward your true identity as God’s beloved child.

If you’re wondering how the gospel should impact your daily life, this book is for you!

Since we’re giving away a Bible and a Bible study, I’d love to learn a little more about your Bible reading habits. Use the Giveaway Widget below to learn how to be entered to win.

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The Cure for the Back-to-School Blues

A Cure for the Back-to-School Blues

There’s no denying it. Summer is winding down. Textbooks and school supplies are in your near future. It’s time to head back to school. (Some of you already have!)

God doesn’t so much care about where you’ll spend your school year but what you will do with the year ahead.

Maybe you love school and are excited about the return to regular routine. Maybe you hate it and are dreading the school year ahead. Either way, I think God has a mission for your school year. It doesn’t matter if you’re in middle school or college; home-schooled, private-schooled, or public-schooled, God doesn’t so much care about where you’ll spend your school year but what you will do with the year ahead.

In fact, no matter how or where you go to school, I believe these words sum up God’s plan for your school year:

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19–20).

This passage is often called the Great Commission. When Jesus spoke these words, He was giving us a very specific assignment. As Christians, Jesus trusts us with the message of His gospel. He wants us to tell others what He has done for us (and them!).

What if instead of looking at the year ahead with classes and clubs in mind, you made the Great Commission your focus? How would it change things if you decided to share the gospel with your school?

Waking the Dead

As I was thinking about encouraging you to share the gospel this year, I kept thinking about the story of Lazarus. If you don’t know it, you can read the whole story in John 11:1–44. But let me give you the short version.

  • Jesus’ friend Lazarus died. (You may have heard of Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha.)
  • Lazarus had been dead three days by the time Jesus got to his tomb.
  • But that didn’t stop Jesus! He commanded Lazarus to rise from the dead, and Lazarus walked out of his tomb, alive and well.

Most of you know a Lazarus—someone who is dead in their sins, living their lives in darkness, separated from God. Maybe they’ve lived that way their whole lives, and there doesn’t seem to be much hope that they will ever choose the eternal life Christ offers.

But if Jesus can bring a dead man back to life, don’t you think He can rescue your friends and classmates who are dead in their sins?

Some of you will spend your school year feeling like you’re the one inside a tomb. Your school is a dark place. Most people don’t seem to care about Jesus. They’ve gotten so used to the smell of death, it doesn’t even seem to bother them anymore.

If that’s your school, be encouraged that God works even in the darkest places. And He is asking you shine like a bright light!

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven" (Matt. 5:14–16).

No matter how dark your school is, God wants to shine His light through you. You remember the song? "Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m gonna let it shine."

The Lazarus Project

I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I hear other people talk about sharing the gospel, it can be a little hard to grasp. Sure, I want to tell others about Jesus. I definitely want to see my friends become disciples who live their lives for Him. But how am I supposed to do that exactly? I want a game plan!

I’d like to suggest a very specific plan. I’m calling it the Lazarus project.

Would you consider purchasing three new Bibles? If you’re short on cash, consider picking up some babysitting jobs or selling some of your stuff to raise some cash. Then, take those Bibles to school with you this year. You can stick them in your locker or keep them with you in your bag. But don’t miss the most important step!

Ask the Lord to show you who needs those Bibles. Pray for specific opportunities to share the gospel, and give a Bible to three people in your school.

God does the hard work! He is the One who calls us from death to life, but wouldn’t it be awesome to be standing beside the tomb when someone from your school turned their life over to Jesus and moved from death to life?

God is able to rescue your classmates from their sin. He is able to raise your school from the dead. He has commissioned you to be a part of His rescue mission for the people you will be rubbing shoulders with for the next nine months. Will you accept the challenge?

If you’re willing to share the gospel and a Bible with at least three people in the school year ahead, leave me a comment below. I’d love to pray for you and cheer you on as you take the gospel to your school this year.

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The Not-So-Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

The Not-So-Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

We’re focusing on the gospel all month here on the blog. Since the nature of the gospel can be hard to understand, and even harder to believe, I’ll let Romans 5:8 give us a quick recap.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

The gospel means:

  1. We are sinners who cannot stop sinning.
  2. The penalty we deserve for our sin is death.
  3. Jesus died for us, even though He knew all about points 1 and 2.
  4. His death made a way for us to be reconciled to God.

If we go to church very long at all, we can become very familiar with the gospel message. When we are in our church clothes around our church friends, we’ve learned how we should respond to the gospel. But if you’re like me, sometimes I respond to the gospel in ways I wouldn’t necessarily want my church friends to know about.

Yesterday, I told you about the Eeyore in me. Today, let’s look at another response to the gospel taken from the Hundred Acre Wood.

The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers

When we react to the news that Jesus died for our sins like Tigger would, the results aren’t so great.

When it comes to Winnie the Pooh’s friends, everyone loves Tigger. In addition to his bright orange fur and extra long tail, here are Tigger’s defining characteristics:

  • He bounces from point A to point B.
  • Sometimes he exhausts and exasperates his friends with his constant bouncing.
  • Tigger’s confidence is in himself. There’s nothing he thinks he cannot do.
  • Tigger’s actions sometimes lead to chaos.
  • He’s well meaning (and likeable!), but Tigger usually does more harm than good.

What does Tigger have to do with the way we respond to the gospel? All of this is pretty wonderful when it describes a fictional character in a book, but when we react to the news that Jesus died for our sins like Tigger would, the results aren’t so great.

Often, we respond to the gospel by trying to earn God’s love. We think . . .

  • If I can just impress Him, He won’t care so much about my sin.
  • If I can just be the very best daughter, sister, friend, in the whole planet, it will somehow make up for the fact that I am a sinner.
  • If I can be a super Christian, Jesus’ death for my sins will somehow make more sense.

Ultimately, girls with a Tigger heart love gold stars. We love high fives. We love attagirls. And if we are not careful, we can live our whole lives bouncing from one attempt to earn God’s approval to another.

But Good Girls Don’t Need the Gospel

Check out Romans 6:23: "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (emphasis added).

The gospel is a free gift. Tiggers know that, but we think we still need to figure out a way to earn it.

Tiggers, lean in. Listen close. Check out Romans 5:6–8.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly (v. 6).

He didn’t die for you because you’re a good girl. Good girls don’t need a Savior.

For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (vv. 7–8).

The gospel is this . . .

Yes! You are a stinkin’ sinner. The price you deserve to pay is death. But God died to pay the price.

You didn’t earn it.

He died for us because He loves us, not because of the number of gold stars we’ve earned on some imaginary chart. 

If you miss the gospel, you will spend your time bouncing from one thing to the next trying to earn God’s love and acceptance. Just like Tigger, you will end up creating a chaotic heart in the process.

Making Payments on a Free Car

Living the Christian life like Tigger is like trying to work for a car that someone has given you. It’s a free gift, but some of us are working ourselves to the bone to try to pay for it.

Imagine someone hands you the keys to a brand-new car and says, "It’s yours. I’ve paid for it. I’ve paid the taxes. I’ve paid the insurance. Here’s a gas card for all the gas you need. It’s yours because I love you."

You look at the keys and the car, and this conversation follows:

You: "Man, I’ve got to get a job to pay for this car."

The Giver: "No, it’s paid for."

You: "I need to work 24-7 to earn the money to pay you back."

The Giver: "I don’t need you to pay me back."

You: "I need to prove that I deserve this car."

The Giver: "You don’t deserve the car, baby girl. I gave it to you because I love you."

Living the Christian life like Tigger is like trying to work for a car that someone has given you. It’s a free gift, but some of us are working ourselves to the bone to try to pay for it.

That might look like:

  • Striving to be perfect and being overly hard on ourselves when we fail.
  • Being involved in every good thing we have the opportunity to participate in.
  • Refusing to ever take off our mask in front of God or others. (What would they think if they saw the real us?)
  • Mistakenly believing that God will love us less if we miss our quiet time.
  • Running at a pace that leaves us totally exhausted all the time.

In the end, we know we are Tiggers when we feel totally exhausted by our faith instead of grateful and set free by the gift Jesus willingly gave.

Are You a Tigger?

How can you know if you’re trying to earn the free gift Jesus died to give you? Let’s look back at what defines Tigger with that big question in mind.

Tigger bounces from point A to point B.

  • Are you constantly running from one thing to the next, trying to earn God’s approval?

Tigger sometimes exhausts and exasperates his friends with his constant bouncing.

  • Are the people in your world exhausted by your constant doubts about God’s love? If you’re not sure, ask them!

Tigger’s confidence is in himself. There’s nothing he thinks he cannot do.

  • Is your confidence in God’s love for you really rooted in your ability to be a good girl?

Tigger’s actions sometimes lead to chaos.

  • Do you have a chaotic heart?

Tigger means well, but he usually does more harm than good.

  • Is it possible you are harming yourself and your relationship with Christ by trying to earn a gift that He freely offers you?

Let me be the first to admit I have a lot of Tigger tendencies. I bet I’m not the only one. Is there evidence in your life that you respond to the gospel like Tigger would? Tell me about it below. Be specific.

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Eeyore's Response to the Good News

Eeyore's Response to the Good News

Last week, I asked you to define the gospel. Nearly one hundred of you responded, many with fantastic ideas about what the gospel really means. Here are just a few of my favs:

Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, we have been rescued from sin, death, and separation from God.

We all are born with Adam’s sin nature. We are destined for hell from birth. The gospel is that Christ died for His chosen people, because of His great love for us. We have salvation in Christ alone by faith alone. —Abbie

Man’s indwelling sinfulness overcome by the perfect power of our Savior! —Haley

The gospel is the good news that all of the sin I have ever committed has been paid for in Jesus Christ: His life, death, and resurrection. By His blood, I have been adopted as God’s own child and will stand blameless before Him, ransomed and redeemed. —Jenn

All of these descriptions of the gospel hit on three important highlights:

  1. We are all chronic sinners. (I loved how Haley called it our "indwelling sinfulness." That means we are sinners to the core.)
  2. Jesus died to pay the penalty we deserved because of that sin.
  3. Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, we have been rescued from sin, death, and separation from God.

It all sounds pretty warm and fuzzy on paper or when we hear it from the pulpit. But if you’re like me, you have a tendency to respond to the gospel in ways that aren’t all rainbows and butterflies. To put the ways I tend to respond to the gospel under a microscope, we need to take a little field trip to the Hundred Acre Wood. (In case you’ve forgotten, that’s where Winnie the Pooh and his friends live!)

"Thanks for Noticin’ Me"

Do you remember Eeyore from the stories of Winnie the Pooh?

There’s nothing spectacular about him. He’s just an old, gray donkey. He’s gloomy and grumpy, always looking at the ground. He’s famously fond of saying, "Thanks for noticin’ me," as if he’s surprised that anyone would ever want to pay attention to him. He’s definitely a glass-is-half-empty kind of donkey. In fact, did you know that his corner of Pooh’s forest is called "Eeyore’s Gloomy Place: Rather Boggy and Sad"?

Eeyore is the kind of friend who sucks the life out of you. After fifteen minutes with him, we would all feel a little worse about the world.

My natural disposition isn’t quite as gloomy as ol’ Eeyore, but when it comes to the gospel, my response sometimes is. I often catch myself thinking thoughts like these:

  • "I’m stuck."
  • "I’m such a screw up."
  • "I will never get it right."
  • "I will never overcome my sin."

Have you ever felt those things? Then you know what we tell ourselves when we take the Eeyore approach.

  • "God doesn’t love me."
  • "How could He?"
  • "I’m such a failure."

Gloomy.

Hopeless.

Downcast.

Just like poor ol’ Eeyore.

The Antivenin for Eeyore Syndrome

It’s not about trying harder or winning more. It’s about Jesus. Our victory is through Him and because of Him.

Here’s how an Eeyore approach the to gospel plays out practically. We don’t try to get free from our sin. We don’t repent. (What difference would that make?) We live like slaves, even though God wants us to be free!

In fact, the gospel is the only antivenin to our Eeyore mentality. Because the gospel makes it clear that it is no longer our responsibility to cure our sin problem. We don’t have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. It’s not about trying harder or winning more. It’s about Jesus. Our victory is through Him and because of Him. The gospel is a billboard seen throughout all of history that screams, "God loves me! Because of Him I am free!"

Eeyores assume that God just kind of tolerates us, but the gospel is proof that He doesn’t just tolerate us. He loves us with an everlasting love. He was willing to pay any price to rescue us.

When we look at our sin and Christ’s sacrifice and our heart starts responding like Eeyore would, we’ve got to learn to run to God’s Word for the truth that is anything but gloomy and hopeless. Whenever I feel Eeyore start to rise up in me, I run to one of my favorite verses . . .

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery (Gal. 5:1).

God set me free so that I could be free. Not so that I could be:

  • stuck.
  • depressed.
  • downtrodden.
  • hard on myself.
  • mopey.
  • hopeless.

So how about you? Do you ever get an Eeyore response to your sin or Christ’s sacrifice? How have you seen that impact your relationship with God and others?

PS: Be sure to hop back on the blog tomorrow to see how Tigger might respond to the gospel.

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Why the Real You Isn't Good News

Why the Real You Isn't Good News

Who are you?

I don’t mean your name necessarily.

I mean, what makes you, you.

If we were meeting for the first time, we would both introduce ourselves with the good stuff. We might talk about our families, our jobs, our hobbies, our school . . .

We like to polish our identity up to a high shine, but that’s not the whole story, is it?

The reality of who we are is very bad news, but there is good news.

David has a way of writing with a brand of brutal honesty that I love. Here’s one way he answered the question, "Who are you?"

Have mercy on me, O God,

   according to your steadfast love;

according to your abundant mercy

   blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

   and cleanse me from my sin!

For I know my transgressions,

   and my sin is ever before me.

Against you, you only, I have sinned

   and done what is evil in your sight (Ps. 51:1–4).

Want to hear my true confession? I’m a sinner, too. So are you. The Bible says that all of us have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Rom. 3:23). That’s the not-so-shiny truth about who we really are. Put that on your Facebook profile.

Paul answered the "who are you" question by describing himself as the foremost of sinners. Sometimes I feel like I’m giving him a run for his money.

The truth is, who we are is very bad news. We are sinners who cannot shake our sin nature. No matter how much we want to or try to, we cannot live sin free.

And the bad news keeps coming . . .

For the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23).

The cost of our sin is death. Who we are has put us on a path toward destruction.

But . . .

The reality of who we are is very bad news, but there is good news. The rest of Romans 6:23 says, "But the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The bad news is we deserve death. But the story doesn’t end there.

What Is the Gospel?

Have you ever heard of the gospel? That’s a word that shows up in the New Testament about the time Jesus starts preaching and teaching. Gospel simply means good news. But what is the good news, exactly?

Even though the gospel is mentioned nearly 100 times in the New Testament, Paul sums it up for us in 1 Corinthians 15:1–4:

Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.

For I delivered you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.

The gospel is this:

  • We are sinners who deserve death.
  • Jesus died to pay the penalty for our sins.

This is the reason why Paul called this message the gospel of grace (Acts 20:24). It is why all Christians are called to proclaim the gospel to those who are still sentenced to death by their sin (Mark 16:15).

A Gospel Worth Preaching

The gospel is what makes us Christians. It is a message we should want to shout from the rooftops. Romans 1:16 says it this way: "For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek."

Simply put, the gospel changes everything.

That’s why we are looking at the gospel all month long. Look for posts about how to share the gospel, what to do when someone doesn’t deserve the gospel, and more.

To keep the wheels turning in your head, here’s a great video that beautifully illustrates why the gospel matters so much.

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

Find out why the gospel = Good News today on @lywbblog.

Cheaters Welcome

Cheaters Welcome

I’ve never been good at math. Maybe that’s why when I discovered the answers in the back of my high school algebra textbook, I was giddy. True, only half of the answers were there, but they turned out to be practically the only answers I got right all year long.

Today’s post is kinda like that.

I’m gonna ask you a question.

If you know the answer, feel free to jot it down in our comment section. If not, that’s okay. You are free to cheat. No one will even know. And since in this case the answer is way more important than the question, I’m okay with you getting some help. In fact, I’ll have a post up tomorrow that tells you my answer. But for now, I’d like to know your thoughts on this simple question:

What is the gospel?

That’s it! Feel free to run to your Bible, your pastor, or even Google for help with your answer. Shoot me a comment and stay tuned to the blog, cuz we’ll be talking about the gospel for the rest of the month.

Oh . . . and to sweeten the deal, I’ll send a free personal-size ESV study Bible to three of you who comment.

Ready, set, cheat!

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

Win a free Bible by cheating today on @lywbblog.

Freebie Friday! And the Bride Wore White

Freebie Friday

I was fifteen years old when I first met Dannah Gresh. She was leading a girls’ retreat for my youth group about sexual purity. I’d heard the message before that I shouldn’t be having sex, but Dannah transformed my view of sex, romance, and God.

I left wanting to wait, not because of some rule or fear of something bad happening to me, but because for the first time I understood that God is for me—the things He asks me to do (or not to do) are for my good.

Fast forward a few years, and the curriculum Dannah taught a few of us on that first retreat became And the Bride Wore White. Fast forward another decade, and that book has sold over a quarter of a million copies and helped gobs of girls understand God’s plan for sex.

I wish we could all pile in a cabin and let Dannah teach us the seven secrets to sexual purity she outlines in the book. Since we can’t, let’s do the next best thing—I’m giving away a free copy of And the Bride Wore White to one of you.

You can watch this short video to learn more about the book:

And find out how to win your copy here.

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Should You Wait to Have Kids Until You Can Afford Them?

$241,080

According to the USDA, that’s how much it costs to raise a child (not including college). I don’t have an extra quarter of a million dollars sitting around. Do you? Kids are expensive. The culture loves to remind us of this fact. Baby talk is usually accompanied by singing the blues over the rising cost of almost everything.

If God calls children a blessing, is it possible that He will bless that blessing?

The Bible is clear in passages like Proverbs 21:5 and Matthew 6:19–21 that God cares about your bank account, and He wants you to steward your resources well. So, if God wants us to be wise stewards of our resources, surely He would have us wait until we’ve got the money in the bank to cover all those diapers before having children, right? For those already parents, certainly God wouldn’t want you to add to your family until your checking account is robust and your house has more square footage, right?

Maybe. But maybe not. When it comes to planning for kids, here are four things to consider beyond your checking account balance.

God calls children a blessing.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Ps. 127:3).

It’s a simple truth really, but one many of us miss. Children are a blessing. Yes, they are expensive. Yes, diapers, and school shoes, and college educations cost a lot, but none of that changes the fact that God sees children as a blessing. Does the Bible call a fat savings account or total financial security a blessing? Nope. But it does say that children are. Perhaps we are pursuing the wrong gift.

If God calls children a blessing, is it possible that He will bless that blessing?

God is your provider.

My third-born just turned one year old, and I just bought my first box of diapers for him. Friends threw an unexpected shower for me that stocked me up. Family members bought diapers for him for Christmas and birthdays (because what baby really needs toys?). Other mommas whose babies had outgrown diapers passed their leftovers along to me without me ever asking them to do so. Bags of baby clothes have been given to me in the past year without me ever seeking them out . . . so has fresh produce just right for turning into baby food, new shoes for my little guy, and other gently-used baby items right when I needed them.

I know what you might be thinking, I don’t have friends that just drop stuff on my back porch!

Honestly, I might have said the same thing before I started having children. But God has used the people in my world over and over again to meet the practical needs of my family.

There’s no economic formula that can account for the generosity of God and His people.

I’m not the only one. I have friends who recently took in two girls in need of a stable home. God has provided everything from dressers to extra cash in order to fund the transition. I have another friend who received thousands of dollars through an IRS error for her international adoption. (Yes, God can use the IRS!)

There’s no economic formula that can account for the generosity of God and His people.

Philippians 4:19 promises, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

It’s good to budget and plan. It’s wise to live within your means, but don’t get caught up in thinking that the buck stops with you. God is ultimately your provider, and He will be the provider for your children. It may not make sense on paper, but if God is asking you to start or grow your family, you can be sure that He will provide.

Fear is not our friend.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isa. 41:10).

Fear not. It’s a commandment found throughout God’s Word.

It makes sense for those who don’t know Christ to operate out of scarcity. They don’t know what’s around the corner, so they stockpile and fret and do everything possible to avoid potential land mines.

Any decision that is made out of fear is out of whack with how God calls us to live.

But we know the God who is the beginning and the end (Rev. 1:8). He commands us not to worry (Matt. 6:25–34), not because there is nothing to worry about, but because He has our backs.

Any decision that is made out of fear is out of whack with how God calls us to live. Choosing not to have children or to add to your family because you are afraid of what may or may not happen or what you may or may not be able to pay for doesn’t line up with God’s call to fear not.

God’s economy doesn’t deal in the same currency as the American economy. He doesn’t have recessions or bear markets. He owns the cattle on 1,000 hillsides (Ps. 50:10); surely He can handle the expenses that come with growing your family.

Remember the goal.

Sometimes we avoid having children because we lose sight of the goal of parenting.

Psalm 127:4–5 says, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”

Jim Elliot applied that verse this way, “Remember how the Psalmist described children? He said that they were as a heritage from the Lord, and that every man should be happy who had his quiver full of them. And what is a quiver full of but arrows? And what are arrows for but to shoot? So, with the strong arms of prayer, draw the bowstring back and let the arrows fly—all of them, straight at the Enemy’s hosts.”

God doesn’t call us to raise well-dressed kids or kids with well-stocked playrooms. The ultimate goal isn’t just to get them through college in a car we managed to pay for. The goal of parenting is to raise kids who are dangerous to the Enemy. What resources are needed for that calling? Prayer. Discipleship. Bible study. More prayer. Living out God’s will in front of little eyes. Repentance they can see. Tons more prayer. Constant preaching of the Gospel to little hearts and heads.

Sure, these things are costly, but they won’t drain your bank account. It’s great to buy stuff for your kids. It’s fine to save for their future, but ultimately these are not the tools you most need to raise great kids. God is able to provide for your deepest parenting needs.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Trusting God with Everything.”

 

Hope For the Anxious

Hope For the Anxious

A few days ago, I found myself in the middle of a storm. You may have heard about the massive dust storm that covered Arizona last week. (If not, here’s a crazy video of it.) While that storm sent people into their homes looking for cover, I was stranded on an airplane, sitting on the runway, waiting until it was safe for ground crews to direct us toward a gate.

To be honest, I was pretty oblivious to the storm at first. It was late at night, and I was dozing. But when we were finally allowed to disembark, a new storm started raging in my heart.

I suddenly found myself in an unfamiliar airport, alone at 1:00 in the morning. I missed my fight home and was shuffled toward an extremely long line of passengers waiting to rebook. I didn’t have access to my luggage. All of the restaurants were closed and I was hungry, with no way to get food. I didn’t know where I would sleep or whether or not I would be safe.

In addition to feeling tired, hungry, and homesick, I felt . . . anxious. I was afraid and nervous. I was eager for my circumstances to change. I didn’t know what would happen next, and the possibilities made my palms sweat.

Forecast? Stormy Weather

Don’t worry—this isn’t just a pity party by a weary traveler. We all know that travel plans can go haywire, and I eventually made it home. But I wonder how many of you find yourselves in the middle of a storm?

  • Your parents fight all the time. You wonder if they will stay married.
  • Your friend is mad at you. You’ve tried talking to her, but it hasn’t helped.
  • Everyone keeps mentioning college. You want to get in to a great school and eventually get a great job, but the pressure to have perfect grades makes you feel mostly S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D.
  • Your youth pastor is leaving, and your youth group is falling apart.
  • That boy you like likes you back, but your parents say "no." As a result, your heart feels like a tornado.

I’m not sure what your storm is, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who has ever felt anxious while waiting for the dust to settle.

When we are anxious in the middle of a storm, where can we look for a lifeline?

The Winds And Waves Obey Him

Jesus knows a thing or two about storms. Mark 4:35–41 tells about a time that Jesus found Himself smack dab in the middle of one. I’d encourage you to read the entire story (just one short paragraph), but here are the highlights:

  • Jesus and His disciples are on a boat crossing the Sea of Galilee.
  • Other boats were with them. (That little detail will matter in a minute.)
  • A great windstorm arose.
  • It was such a big and scary storm that the boat started to break.
  • The disciples started having a full-on freak-out.
  • But not Jesus. He was peacefully sleeping while the storm raged.

The disciples woke Jesus up from His nap this way:

"Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" (v. 38).

Be honest. When you find yourself in a middle of a storm, do you ever ask Jesus a version of this same question? In your heart, do you find yourself feeling like God let you down? Do you wonder if God caused the storm or why He allowed it to happen? Do you doubt that He will come to your rescue?

Me, too. And apparently so did the disciples.

And [Jesus] awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm (v. 39).

The winds and waves obeyed Jesus. A storm that seconds earlier was ripping a boat to shreds suddenly got quiet.

This reality caused the disciples to have a different kind of freak-out.

He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" (vv. 40–41).

Why We’re Really Anxious

God’s promises hold firm in every storm.

Yes, I am sure that storm was scary. Yes, watching chunks of your boat fall off into a raging sea would make me anxious, too. But that’s not really why the disciples were scared.

They forgot who was at the helm of their ship. Jesus was there. He was in charge. When they forgot that . . . when they thought the outcome was up to them . . . then, they got stressed.

Life’s storms have a way of clouding our vision. They make it hard for us to remember the promises of God because the sounds of thunder and lightning are so loud. But God’s promises hold firm in every storm.

That’s why God commands (yes, commands!) us not to be anxious:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (Phil. 4:6).

God isn’t saying there will never be trouble, He is just clear that He is in charge no matter what. When anxiety makes us feel out of control, the antidote is to remember that God is always in control.

The Other Ships

There’s an old sermon that I love in which the pastor points out that Jesus’ boat was not the only ship on the water that day. Certainly, His was not the only one being beaten by the storm.

But when God commanded the winds and waves to be still, all of the boats were brought under His control.

When the Lord’s ship got calm, so did the others. This is how it works with our lives. When we recognize that God is in charge, it impacts our:

  • friend-ships
  • relation-ships
  • owner-ship
  • disciple-ship

And ultimately our wor-ship.

We can praise God in any storm instead of feeling anxious, worried, or afraid because we know He is in charge. He will not fail us. Our circumstances are not beyond His power and authority.

So think about your storm.

  • Are you anxious about your family because you don’t believe God can really reconcile relationships, even though He promises He can change even the hardest heart (Ezek. 36:26)?
  • Are you anxious about your friendships because you’ve forgotten you have a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24)?
  • Are you anxious about school because you think you’re the one planning your future (Jer. 29:11)?
  • Are you anxious about romance because you worry God doesn’t have a good plan for you in that department (Ps. 73:1)?

God met my every need in the middle of that dust storm. I found a cozy corner to sleep in and a couple of granola bars in the bottom of my bag. I was home with my family in no time, not because of me, but because of God who never left me alone for a minute, even in the middle of a big, scary storm.

What is making you anxious today?

How does that anxiety compare to a God who stills storms?

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Freebie Friday! True Princess

Freebie Friday

Are you living like a princess or a daughter of the King? Answer true or false to the following questions to find out.

T or F: I love being the center of attention.
T or F: When making a decision, I don’t usually consider the truth in God’s
Word.
T or F: My friends think I am a drama queen.
T or F: It’s hard for me to find time to help others.
T or F: I feel like I deserve certain things.
T or F: Love doesn’t require sacrifice.
T or F: The way I spend my time and money is my business.
T or F: I want to be taken care of.
T or F: The things I watch and listen to have nothing to do with my relationship with
God.
T or F: I couldn’t live without my cell phone, iPad, or computer.

Mostly true—Princess alert! There’s a part of you that wants to be like the princesses you see in movies and fairy tales. You like to be comfortable and avoid making sacrifices and serving others. You’re drawn to the things that culture promises will bring fulfillment. If you’re in this category, don’t worry. The promises God offers can motivate you to live out His plan for your life.

Mostly false—Living like a daughter of the King! No divas here. You’re already living out some of the qualities of a daughter of the King, but as you dig into His Word, you will become more and more like the King you serve.

This quiz is taken from True Princess: Embracing Humility in an All About Me World. I wrote it with one big idea . . .

There is a difference between acting like a princess and living like a daughter of the King!

Most of us have plenty of princess in us, but through His Word, God wants to teach us about humility and get us excited to live as ambassadors for the King of Kings.

I’d love to send you a free copy.

Here’s how to win: Answer the poll question in the giveaway widget below. Please note: The Twitter options are not mandatory, but they do get you bonus entries!

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Why You Need to Know the Rule of Three

Why You Need to Know the Rule of 3

If you’re lucky, you’ve got a few more lazy days of summer left, but it won’t be long before nothing-to-do turns into how-will-I get-it-all-done. As you look ahead to the new school year, you need to know about the Rule of Three.

What Is the Rule of Three?

The "rule of three" is a strategy used by the United States Marines. In a nutshell, the rule is this: each Marine has three things to worry about. Marines are divided into teams of four individual Marines (three team members and one team leader). Teams are divided into squads. Each squad is made up of three teams. Three squads make up a platoon.

The entire Marine organizational chart is made up this way. What’s more, Marines are encouraged to limit their attention to three tasks—three things to worry about. No more. No less.

Several years ago, the Marines experimented with a Rule of Four, and effectiveness plummeted. Marines were stretched too thin. They became overextended and confused. Lives were lost.

What does that have to do with you?

Are You a Good Soldier?

God doesn’t ask you to be involved in every sport and activity. He has a much simpler game plan for your schedule.

You may not be a Marine, but did you know that if you are a Christian, you are a soldier? Cue: "I’m in the Lord’s Army" song. (Yes, sir!)

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him (2 Tim. 2:3).

God has enlisted you into His army to fight big battles for His kingdom. But most of us are fruitless soldiers, because we are entangled in "civilian pursuits." We are stretched too thin. Overtired. Overextended. Maybe no lives are lost because we’re trying to do it all, but opportunities are . . . relationships are . . . chances to serve others are.

God doesn’t ask you to be involved in every sport and activity. In fact, He has a much simpler game plan for your schedule.

In Matthew 6, Jesus was preaching about the things that tend to stress us out (are you picturing your maxed-out schedule?) when He said these words:

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" (Matt. 6:33).

The Rule of Threes means you can handle putting your effort toward three things. Not five. Not thirteen. Not seven. Three.

God clearly states what the first thing on our list should be. We are to seek God’s kingdom first. We are to organize our schedule, our priorities, our life around what matters most to God.

As you look at your plans for the school year ahead, are you seeking God’s kingdom first? If, instead, your schedule revolves around band or academics or hanging out with friends . . . you’ve got some rearranging to do.

The Twos and Threes

Your relationship with God needs to be your first priority. But what else should you fill your schedule with?

The answer to that question is different for all of us. If you’re in school, that’s one of the things you need to be focusing on. If you’re working, that’s an area of focus for you. Maybe you volunteer with a great not-for-profit or help your mom around the house several hours a week. Those are all great things, but as you plan, keep in mind the Rule of Threes.

You can be involved in Kingdom work, do well in school, and work a part-time job, but you probably can’t do all of that and play basketball and sing in the school musical without crashing and burning. You can volunteer in your church, go to school, and play a sport, but you won’t have bandwidth to also start a Bible study at school and try out for track and be on the leadership team for Fellowship of Christian athletes.

See how that works?

You pick three things and you do them well instead of picking twenty things that you do halfway.

I want to be upfront in saying that the Rule of Three is not a biblical principle. Nowhere in Scripture do we see God forbidding us from dividing our attention four or five ways. But from someone who has run a track meet or two in your shoes, for all the wrong reasons (I hated track, but wanted to impress my friends!), can I just encourage you to think about the wisdom found in a pared-down schedule? The purpose of your life is not to be involved in every club, activity, and sport possible. The purpose of your life is to glorify God and be used by Him. (It says so in Isaiah 43:7.)

As you look to the school year ahead, would you ask these questions?

  • Can I best glorify God if I am burned out and stretched too thin?
  • What/who are the "causalities" when my schedule is too full?
  • What are my top three priorities?
  • What can I let go in order to focus on these three things?

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:
As nothing-to-do turns into how-will-I-get-it-all-done, find out what you need to know on the @lywbblog today.

How I Know You Will Get Married

How I Know You Will Get Married

As far as I’m concerned, there’s only one way that movies should ever end.

Having faced whatever challenge the movie plot was about and won, the couple (because there is always a couple) should kiss. The camera should spin, and they should be transformed into a bride and groom kissing on their wedding day. The rice gets thrown. The Mr. and Mrs. ride off into the sunset, and happily ever after begins.

Sigh.

Movies that end in a wedding should win the Oscar every time.

But maybe, just maybe, when you see a wedding on the big screen you feel a pang of something like panic. When you go to weddings of friends and family members you feel something bitter along with the sweetness of it all.

Will I ever get married? you wonder.

What if happily ever after never happens for me?

First, let me shoot you straight that marriage can never be the answer to a happy life. Yes, marriage is a wonderful gift, designed by God to put the beauty of the gospel on display. But that’s not the same as saying that marriage will meet all of our needs. Only God can do that.

The desire you have to pledge your life to someone else in the name of love? That craving is about something bigger.

But for many of you, that doesn’t stop the ache, the craving, to one day be a bride, greeted at the aisle by a groom who is crazy about you.

Maybe you will get married some day and maybe you won’t, but that craving? The desire you have to pledge your life to someone else in the name of love? That craving is about something bigger, and I know for a fact that it will be satisfied.

The Story Starts With A Wedding

Grab your Bible. (Go ahead, I’ll wait right here.)

Check out Genesis 2:18–25. Here are the highlights:

  • Adam was alone, and it was "not good" (v. 18).
  • Adam had companions of every shape and size, but he needed "the one" who would be a helper fit for him (v. 20).
  • God formed a woman from the man (v. 21).
  • God brought the woman to the man (v. 22).

And Adam gushes some of the most romantic words ever written.

"This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (v. 23).

"At last!" Adam exclaims. "I have been waiting for you all my life." Which wasn’t very long, but it must have felt like it. Adam knew what it was like to wait for love.

Then God gives these instructions to the new couple:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (v. 24).

Recognize those words? You’ve probably heard them at a wedding before.

God was telling Adam and Eve that they were now one. Their instructions were to cling to each other in good times and in bad. We just witnessed the first marriage ever.

Fast forward to the end of your Bible, to the book of Revelation.

The Story Ends With a Wedding

Check out Revelation 19:6–9:

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,

"Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure"—

for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.

And the angel said to me, "Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb."

Genesis tells the story of a simple wedding. The only ones in attendance were Adam, the groom, Eve, the bride, and God, the wedding officiant.

But Revelation tells of a grand affair. There are so many in attendance that their voices sound like mighty peals of thunder. The bride is spectacular, clothed in blinding white garments. This is the biggest event in history. This is a wedding not to be missed!

You’re Invited to the Wedding of Mr. And Mrs. ?

Sure, the wedding in Revelation sounds romantic, but we miss something big if we don’t catch who is getting married here.

This is a wedding between "the Lamb" and "His Bride" (v. 7).

Who is the Lamb? Jesus! We see Him called this in verses like John 1:29 and John 1:36. Scripture calls Him the Lamb because He was the sacrifice for our sins, a role reserved for livestock before Jesus came.

Who is the Bride? We are! If we believe in Jesus and turn our lives over to Him, we become a part of His Church. Scripture describes the Church like a bride.

Here are a few examples.

For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ (2 Cor. 11:2).

Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, "Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb" (Rev. 21:9).

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (Eph. 5:25–27).

Jesus is the groom, and those of us who follow Him are His bride. He died so that we could be clothed in beautiful, white wedding clothes instead of the filthy rags our sin wraps us up in.

A Perfect Ending

If you follow Jesus, your wedding day is coming.

I don’t know how the story of your life will go. I don’t know if you’ll get to a plan a wedding or pick rice out of your hair. But I know that if you follow Jesus, your wedding day is coming.

There will be so many people there, that their voices will sound like thunder. The groom will be beaming. He has waited for this moment for an eternity. And you, girl? You will be the most beautiful bride there has ever been. Your wedding clothes will shine like the sun! And in that moment, the craving . . .

  • to be loved
  • to be known
  • to be accepted
  • to be someone’s forever

. . . will be realized.

It will be the perfect ending.

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What’s the perfect ending for the best story ever told? Find out on @lywbblog today.

Blood, Bread, and Remembering Your Rescue

Blood, Bread, and Remembering Our Rescue

I brought a new friend to church with me recently. She’d never been before and when the communion tray was passed, she leaned over to me and whispered, "What is it?"

I wasn’t sure what to say, exactly.

For someone like me who has grown up in the church, communion can seem ordinary because it’s so common. I know it matters, and I know Jesus took it, but why? What’s the point of that little cup of juice and tiny cracker? What should I have said to my friend who has never seen the communion tray before?

Let’s dig into God’s Word together to find out.

An Object Lesson To Jog Your Memory

Jesus observed communion the night He was betrayed.

Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, "Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom" (Matt. 26:26–29).

Imagine that you were in that upper room with Jesus. You’re sitting around the table with Him and your group of closest friends, and all of a sudden Jesus passes around a loaf of bread. You tear off a bite and start chewing, and Jesus says:

"Go on! Eat up. This is My body.”

Gulp.

What is He talking about? Sounds kinda creepy.

Jesus passes a cup around. You take a swig, and He says:

"That’s My blood. I’m going to pour it out for you.”

Double gulp!

Communion is an expression of your faith in a God who saves you by grace.

Broken bodies and spilled blood don’t sound like great appetizers. And Jesus is sitting at the table in the flesh as He’s talking. Clearly, He and His disciples aren’t eating His physical body or drinking His physical blood.

But Jesus knew what was coming. He was giving His disciples and all of the disciples who would come after (that includes us!) a tool to remember some very important stuff. My guess is He knew all about our tendency to get amnesia about the good news of the gospel and forget about the sacrifice He made for us on the cross.

Just like baptism doesn’t save you, neither does communion. It is an expression of your faith in a God who saves you by grace. Think of communion as an object lesson given to us by Jesus, the teacher. The cup and the bread are physical objects that symbolize deep, spiritual truths. The bread is a symbol of Jesus’ body, broken for us on the cross. The cup is a symbol of Jesus’ shed blood, poured out for us.

What to Do When the Tray is Passed

Jesus says for us to remember Him when we take the Lord’s Supper. We are to use communion to jog our memory about His death on the cross for our sins. When we take communion, we should take time to remember Him, and thank Him, for what He has done for us.

But Paul says before we get to the thank yous, we need a heart check.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself (1 Cor. 11:27–29).

Paul says that before you take communion you need to examine yourself. But what’s this "unworthy manner" business?

Worthy Ways for Unworthy People

Let’s get something straight. None of us are worthy of taking communion. It is, after all, a symbol of Christ’s death on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. None of us deserved that! We could never, ever earn it. It was a gift given to us because we are so loved, not because we are so worthy.

You don’t have to be perfect to take communion. It’s not only for those who come to church scrubbed clean (because none of us do).

But we still need to take communion in a worthy manner. When Paul wrote those words, the people in the church of Corinth were trying to use communion as a meal. Can you imagine trying to get filled up on tiny crackers and miniature cups of juice for lunch? It seems silly!

But just like the Christians in Corinth were using communion to fill their bellies, we can use it for the wrong reasons.

  • We can do it because we think it takes away our sin. Remember, it doesn’t. It’s just a symbol of the fact that only Jesus can do that.
  • We can do it to fit in. Everyone else in church seems to be partaking.
  • We can do it as a ritual; it’s just something we do.

Paul is saying, "Check yourself." Make sure that when you take communion, you are doing it for the right reasons.

Shout It From the Rooftops

Do you remember last week when I told you that baptism was a way to show the world what God has done for you? Communion is like that, too. When you take communion, you’re showing others what Christ did for you.

Paul said it this way: "For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes" (1 Cor. 11:26).

Every time you eat that little cracker and drink that little cup of juice with a heart turned toward Jesus, you are telling the world, "He died for me! He is coming back for me soon!"

That’s a message I want to share with others. How about you? Do you take communion at your church?

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

What’s that tiny cup and little cracker all about? Find out on @lywbblog today.

25 Rules for Strong Friendships

25 Rules for Strong Friendships

We could all use a little help in the relationship department from time to time. Here are twenty-five "rules" for friendship, straight out of the book of Proverbs.

Rule #1: Don’t get mad over nothing.

Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm (Prov. 3:30).

Rule #2: Don’t try to change a friend who is unwise.

Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you (Prov. 9:8).

Rule #3: Hatred leads to more fighting. Choose love.

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses (Prov. 10:12).

Rule #4: Don’t be two-faced.

The one who conceals hatred has lying lips (Prov. 10:18).

Rule #5: Don’t talk trash.

Whoever utters slander is a fool (Prov. 10:18).

Rule #6: Pick humble friends.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom (Prov. 11:2).

Rule #7: Keep criticism to yourself.

Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent (Prov. 11:12).

Rule #8: Keep secrets.

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered (Prov. 11:13).

Rule #9: Don’t be a mean girl.

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself (Prov. 11:17).

Rule #10: Be an encourager.

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad (Prov. 12:25).

Rule #11: Just because you think it doesn’t mean you have to say it.

Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin (Prov. 13:3).

Rule #12: Choose wise friends.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm (Prov. 13:20).

Rule #13: Don’t get mad easily.

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly (Prov. 14:29).

Rule #14: Don’t be jealous.

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot (Prov. 14:30).

Rule #15: Don’t be cranky.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Prov. 15:1).

Rule #16: Stay away from that girl with the temper.

A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention (Prov. 15:18).

Rule #17: Get advice from wise friends.

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed (Prov. 15:22).

Rule #18: Speak sweetly.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body (Prov. 16:24).

Rule #19: Don’t talk behind your friends’ backs.

A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends (Prov. 16:28).

Rule #20: Don’t get mad easily.

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city (Prov. 16:32).

Rule #21: Don’t jump ship.

A friend loves at all times (Prov. 17:17).

Rule #22: Pick a few close friends over lots of acquaintances.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24).

Rule #23: Don’t be easily offended.

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense (Prov. 19:11).

Rule #24: Avoid the drama.

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling (Prov. 20:3).

Rule #25: Don’t celebrate when your frenemy has trouble.

Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the LORD see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him (Prov. 24:17–18).

What friendship rules has the Lord shown you in His Word? Tell me about it!

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

25 rules for better friendships, straight from God’s Word today on @lywbblog. 

Freebie Friday! Lies Young Women Believe

Freebie Friday

Quiz time! Look at these word pairs. For each one, make a mental note of which one best describes you.

  1. Relaxed or totally stressed out?
  2. Happy to be single or gotta have a guy?
  3. Good with what ya got or ugly?
  4. Forgiven or guilty?
  5. Definitely taking my problems to God first or gotta ask my friends for advice?
  6. Got just enough friends or lonely?
  7. Friendly or totally PMSing?
  8. Authentic or hypocritical?
  9. In control of my tech world or would die without text messaging, Facebook, and more?
  10. Confident in my stand to be pure or ashamed to stand alone?
  11. Content with what ya got or MUST shop now?
  12. The real deal or different depending on whom I’m with?
  13. Walking in victory or unable to overcome certain sins?
  14. Content to submit or angry at my parents?
  15. Confident of God’s protection or afraid of Satan?

Okay, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out we used some healthy descriptions first and some unhealthy descriptions last. Which did you tend to identify with?

I’m guessing you may have chosen the second option at least a few times (or more!). At some level, we all experience negative emotions or harmful responses that are rooted in lies we’ve believed (though we may not even realize they are lies).

That’s why you need the book this quiz came from (and the one this blog is named after), Lies Young Women Believe. It’s a book about exposed lies, but it’s really about God’s truth. Every girl needs it in her arsenal!

That’s why we are giving away a free copy for today’s Freebie Friday giveaway along with the Companion Guide.

Here’s how to win.

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PS. You do not need a Twitter account to win. The Twitter options are simply bonus entries for sharing this giveaway.

Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together

Enhance your summer reading with a True Woman book. The entire line is on sale this month.

Hey ladies!

I’m giddy to announce the release of my latest book, Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together. It’s about loneliness, and it’s the most personal thing I’ve ever written. I also know from months of traveling the country interviewing women like you that it might also be the most needed. Loneliness is a pandemic among us. But God’s Word holds the vaccine. Here’s a taste of the deep truth I found . . .

Polishing Up the Golden Rule

In Matthew 7, Jesus is teaching important principles about our relationships when He drops this little gem, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (v. 12).

We’ve come to identify this teaching as the Golden Rule. Later in Matthew, Jesus presented this same concept in a slightly different wrapper by saying that loving others as yourself is the second greatest commandment (Matt. 22:39).

We’ve got to learn to love others well without constantly wondering, What’s in this for me?

These verses urge us to love others in the same way we want to be loved, but they are not a guarantee that the favor will be returned. The Golden Rule is not an invitation to keep score.

When it comes to my relationships, I tend to think thoughts like these:

  • I was nice to you today, so you better always be nice to me.
  • I forgave you, but you better not ever hurt me again . . . or else.
  • I helped you, so you better help me.

But this is not the spirit of the Golden Rule. And let’s face it; it doesn’t make for great relationships. If we want to know and be known, we need to stop keeping score. If we

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want to move toward worrying less about having the right friends and put effort toward loving like Jesus did, we’ve got to learn to love others well without constantly wondering, What’s in this for me?

When Jesus gives us the second greatest commandment, what is He really commanding?

John Piper put it this way, “He is commanding that our self-love, which has now discovered its fulfillment in God-love, be the measure of the content of our neighbor-love. Or to put it another way, he is commanding that our inborn self-seeking, which has now been transposed into God-seeking, overflow and extend itself to our neighbor.”

Other’s Esteem

Jesus didn’t ask us to love others extravagantly simply so the neighborhood can hold hands and sing “Kumbaya.” It’s not about warm fuzzies. It’s about giving teeth to our faith. It’s about letting the abundant love God has demonstrated toward us overflow and impact others instead of keeping it bottled up and to ourselves.

When it comes to our relationships, this is a mark that so many of us miss.

In a culture completely obsessed with feeling good, we’ve been raised with the idea that our self-esteem should be fed into. We look to our relationships to satisfy our craving for constant ego strokes. This is not the formula that Jesus modeled or taught.

Paul was urging Christians in Philippi to be encouraged by Christ’s example when he penned these words: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3).

Perhaps it’s time we outgrow the notion that the purpose of our relationships is to provide a steady drip of feel-good fuel for our delicate self-esteem.

Perhaps it’s time we outgrow the notion that the purpose of our relationships is to provide a steady drip of feel-good fuel for our delicate self-esteem.

As I’ve wrestled with loneliness, I’ve learned that there’s more on the line than simply having great friends. If we can feel desperately lonely as wives, daughters, sisters, and friends, the antidote must be found in the quality of our relationships, not the quantity. The Bible teaches a paradoxical truth. The depth and quality of our relationships hinge on what we give, not what we get.

I don’t do math, but when we look at Jesus’ teachings and examples, it becomes clear why our relationship equations so rarely add up. We tend to plug the factors in this way:

Me + relationships built on my self-esteem = shallow connection.

We need a new equation that looks like this:

Me + relationships built on others’ esteem = deep connection.

No ATMS

True, deep connection, the kind that can keep us tethered and hemmed in, is born from sacrifice, not self-esteem. There is no room for an ATM mentality among the people of God.

If we are going to vaccinate ourselves and others against the pandemic of loneliness, we must love like Jesus loved. We’ve got to connect with people who have nothing to offer us. We should befriend the undesirable and cast out. We need to look at our relationships and ask what we can give instead of what we can get.

An Unexpected Parachute

Loving others wholeheartedly can feel like jumping without a parachute. There are no guarantees that they will love us back or be able to meet our relational needs. I think we should jump anyway . . . it’s the only way to find true connection. But as I looked in God’s Word for the answers to my loneliness, I found that God does offer a parachute. He is the parachute.

Deuteronomy 31:8 promises. “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

  • Do you feel lonely because no one is thinking about you? The truth is, since before you were even born, God knew you (Ps. 139:13–16).
  • Do you feel like no one notices how hard life can be? God keeps a record of every heartbreak (Ps. 56:8).
  • Do you feel friendless? Betrayed? Walked out on? The God who created everything out of nothing, who always was and always will be, whose name is Faithful and True, calls you His friend (John 15:15). You can never accurately say you are friendless. God’s offer for relational intimacy always stands.

So, yes, knowing and being known is risky, but God is able to meet our deep need for connection, and through His Word, He shows us how to let that ripple out into our relationships with others.

Ready to jump with me? If you’ve felt the sting of loneliness and are ready to discover the secrets of knowing and being known, leave me a comment about it. I will choose three of you to win a copy of Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Weathering the Storms of Loneliness and Life.”

 

4 Good Reasons to be Baptized

4 Good Reasons to be Baptized

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply. This week we will look at what God’s Word says about baptism.

Laura was one of my closest friends in high school. She invited me to church long before I became a Christian. Once I turned my life over to Christ, she was a friend I ran to often with my questions about God and the Bible. But something about Laura bummed me out . . .

She didn’t want to be baptized.

We talked about it a few times. When I asked her why she had never been baptized, she would always say something like . . .

"I just don’t think I need to."

"I don’t want to."

"I’m a Christian. I love Jesus. I think that’s enough."

Baptism is a picture of the way only God can make us pure and whole.

Laura was right. She didn’t have to be baptized in order to follow Jesus, but I still wanted her to. I just didn’t have enough biblical knowledge to understand why at the time. Many years later, I’ve seen God’s plan for baptism laced throughout the Bible, specifically in the Gospels and the book of Acts. Just in case there are some "Lauras" reading this blog who are Christians who have either decided not to be baptized or who are simply wondering why they should, here are four good reasons to be baptized.

You should be baptized as a symbol of God’s grace.

Repentance is a fancy church word for being sorry for and running away from your sin. The Bible makes a clear connection between repentance and baptism.

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38, emphasis added).

When we repent, we agree that we are sinners who violate God’s standards for holiness. Part of the process of repentance is telling God we need Him to clean up the messes we make. Because of grace, He is faithful to do it!

Baptism is a way to say the world, "I can’t be holy on my own. I’m a sinner and I can’t stop sinning, but because of God’s grace, I can turn from sin." Baptism is a picture of the way only God can make us pure and whole. Isn’t that a picture you’d like to paint for the world?

You should be baptized because it shows your loyalty to Christ.

I like how Pastor John Piper puts it:

Faith unites us to Christ; baptism symbolizes the union.

An analogy would be saying, "With this ring I thee wed." When we say that, we don’t mean that the ring or the putting on of the ring on the finger is what makes us married. No, it shows the covenant and symbolized the covenant, but the covenant-making vows make the marriage. So it is with faith and baptism.

You should be baptized because Jesus commanded it.

Right before Jesus ascended into heaven, He gave His disciples their marching orders. These were His final words to them—the things He really wanted them to remember until His return.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19–20, emphasis added).

In addition to promising He would never leave us, God gave Christians very specific instructions:

  • Go.
  • Make disciples.
  • Baptize those disciples.
  • Teach them to follow God’s Word.

Because baptism is a symbol of God’s grace and because it is a way to publicly pledge our allegiance to Him, Christ commands it for His disciples.

You should be baptized because Jesus did it.

Matthew 3 tells the story of Jesus’ baptism:

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased" (Matt. 3:16–17).

Jesus was baptized. I want to be like Jesus. That is good enough for me.

How about you? Have you been baptized? How would you convince my friend Laura to be baptized, too? I’d love to hear about it.

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

Four good reasons to be baptized today on @lywbblog.

4 Good Reasons to be Baptized

4 Good Reasons to be Baptized

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply.

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This week we will look at what God’s Word says about baptism.

Laura was one of my closest friends in high school. She invited me to church long before I became a Christian. Once I turned my life over to Christ, she was a friend I ran to often with my questions about God and the Bible. But something about Laura bummed me out . . .

She didn’t want to be baptized.

We talked about it a few times. When I asked her why she had never been baptized, she would always say something like . . .

"I just don’t think I need to."
"I don’t want to."
"I’m a Christian. I love Jesus. I think that’s enough."

Baptism is a picture of the way only God can make us pure and whole.

Laura was right. She didn’t have to be baptized in order to follow Jesus, but I still wanted her to. I just didn’t have enough biblical knowledge to understand why at the time. Many years later, I’ve seen God’s plan for baptism laced throughout the Bible, specifically in the Gospels and the book of Acts. Just in case there are some "Lauras" reading this blog who are Christians who have either decided not to be baptized or who are simply wondering why they should, here are four good reasons to be baptized.

You should be baptized as a symbol of God’s grace.

Repentance is a fancy church word for being sorry for and running away from your sin. The Bible makes a clear connection between repentance and baptism.

And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38, emphasis added).

When we repent, we agree that we are sinners who violate God’s standards for holiness. Part of the process of repentance is telling God we need Him to clean up the messes we make. Because of grace, He is faithful to do it!

Baptism is a way to say the world, "I can’t be holy on my own. I’m a sinner and I can’t stop sinning, but because of God’s grace, I can turn from sin." Baptism is a picture of the way only God can make us pure and whole. Isn’t that a picture you’d like to paint for the world?

You should be baptized because it shows your loyalty to Christ.

I like how Pastor John Piper puts it:

Faith unites us to Christ; baptism symbolizes the union.

An analogy would be saying, "With this ring I thee wed." When we say that, we don’t mean that the ring or the putting on of the ring on the finger is what makes us married. No, it shows the covenant and symbolized the covenant, but the covenant-making vows make the marriage. So it is with faith and baptism.

You should be baptized because Jesus commanded it.

Right before Jesus ascended into heaven, He gave His disciples their marching orders. These were His final words to them—the things He really wanted them to remember until His return.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matt. 28:19–20, emphasis added).

In addition to promising He would never leave us, God gave Christians very specific instructions:

  • Go.
  • Make disciples.
  • Baptize those disciples.
  • Teach them to follow God’s Word.

Because baptism is a symbol of God’s grace and because it is a way to publicly pledge our allegiance to Him, Christ commands it for His disciples.

You should be baptized because Jesus did it.

Matthew 3 tells the story of Jesus’ baptism:

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased" (Matt. 3:16–17).

Jesus was baptized. I want to be like Jesus. That is good enough for me.

How about you? Have you been baptized? How would you convince my friend Laura to be baptized, too? I’d love to hear about it.

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:
Four good reasons to be baptized today on @lywbblog.

Freebie Friday! Connected

Freebie Friday

If you’ve ever looked at your list of Facebook friends and felt like none of them really know you . . . this book is for you.

If you have lots of friends, a full schedule, and a lonely feeling you can’t seem to shake . . . this book is for you.

If you feel like no one really knows you or understands you . . . this book is for you.

Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together is a book about loneliness, kind of. It’s the story of how I spent most of my life lonely. But it’s not a sad story. Spoiler alert: I’m not lonely anymore. I ran to God’s Word and found answers to my questions about:

  • What my relationships are supposed to look like.
  • Why God wired me to crave connection.
  • How to connect with God and others.

It’s good stuff, and I want to get it into the hands and hearts of lonely girls everywhere.

I’d love for you to read (and then share!) a sample chapter. I’ll pick one of you to win a free copy of Connected: Curing the Pandemic of Everyone Feeling Alone Together.

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Is God an American?

Is God an American?

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply. In honor of our nation’s birthday, this week we will look at how God feels about America.

God bless America, land that I love . . .

America, America, God shed His grace on thee . . .

‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land! God bless the USA!

Tomorrow you may gather with friends and family to eat all-American food like hot dogs and potato salad off of red, white, and blue plates. You may wave a flag at your small town parade or grab your lawn chair and head to a fireworks show. July 4th is set aside to celebrate the birth of our nation. It’s one of my favorite days of the year. But this year I’m wondering how God feels about America. I dug into the Word for some answers, and here’s what I found.

God is an International God

The truth is God reigns and rules over all nations.

We know God is not an American. He existed long before Columbus sailed the ocean blue or our forefathers brought forth a new nation. We may like to sing about God’s favoritism toward our country, but the truth is God reigns and rules over all nations.

For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name (Ps. 18:49).

All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you (Ps. 22:27).

God’s In Charge

If you watch the world news, it can be tempting to think that presidents and dictators are calling the shots. Certainly, the leaders of the nations make decisions that impact many, but ultimately God is in charge of what happens in America, in China, in Brazil, in Italy, and in every nation on the globe.

God reigns over the nations; God sits on his holy throne (Ps. 47:8).

God’s Grace is For All Nations

America is a blessed nation, but God’s blessings don’t stop at our borders. God’s grace extends to rich nations and poor nations, nations at peace and nations at war. Yes, God blesses America . . . but His blessings are poured out on people in every nation.

May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that your way may be known on earth, your saving power among all nations (Ps. 67:1–2).

May all kings fall down before him, all nations serve him! (Ps. 72:11).

God Will Judge the Nations

The wicked shall return to Sheol, all the nations that forget God (Ps. 9:17).

"I will gather all the nations and bring them down to the Valley of Jehoshaphat. And I will enter into judgment with them there" (Joel 3:2).

Eventually God will judge the nations. He won’t judge them based on the size of their armies or the amount of money in their national treasuries, but on their obedience to and love for Him.

So as you celebrate America this weekend, would you consider praying for her? Here are five specific ways to pray.

Pray for revival. That’s just a churchy word for bringing back to life. Pray that God would bring churches and hearts back to life with renewed passion for Him.

Pray for the lost. There are many in America who do not know Jesus as their Savior. Would you pray for them right now? If you have specific friends and family members who are lost, pray for them today.

Pray for the Church to shine. Pray that the American church would be a place of healing and hope that people are drawn to.

Pray for our leaders. The Bible calls us to pray for our leaders.

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our savior (1 Tim. 2:1–3).

Pray for President Barack Obama. Pray for the members of Congress, and pray for the leaders of your state.

Pray for repentance. Pray that America would be a nation of repenters who turn from our sin and desire to obey God’s Word.

If you will agree to pray for America for the next ten days, leave me a comment below to tell me about it.

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

We’re celebrating America’s birthday by praying for her. Join us on @lywbblog!

Freebie Friday! Seeking Him

Freebie Friday

This week we are giving away Seeking Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Tim Grissom. I’m so excited to get it into your hands, because it’s a Bible study that has had a huge personal impact on my own walk with Christ. (I’ve gone through it twice in the past few years.)

This is a study that will take you DEEP into God’s Word—no coasting allowed! But the end result is a heart revived by God’s truth.

Here’s how you win.

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Is God Mad at Me?

Is God Mad at Me?

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply. This week we will look at what makes God angry (and what doesn’t).

I got sent to the principal’s office three times in my entire school career. I never got in much trouble (talking in class was my offense), but the memory of waiting to see the principal is forever burned into my memory . . .

Sweaty palms.

Pit in my stomach.

An overwhelming urge to hide.

I was terrified the principal would be mad at me and, as a result, so would my parents. Their collective anger and disappointment were worse than any punishment I received.

When it comes to God, I’ve spent many years feeling like I was sitting outside the principal’s office.

I’ve been a Christian for almost two decades. Looking back, I can see that I’ve spent most of those years feeling like I did in those moments outside the principal’s office. I’ve been convinced that God was mad at me and terrified of the punishment He would hand down. I’ve had near-constant anxiety that He is somehow disappointed in me. When bad things come into my life, I’ve read them as proof that God is angry.

But God has been working in my life lately, showing me areas where my theology (that’s a big word for my beliefs about who God is) are askew. I’ve been challenged to go to the Word for the answer to this big question: Is God mad at me?

Here’s what I’ve found.

Yes, God gets mad.

There’s no denying God’s anger in Scripture. We can hear stories like the incineration of Sodom and Gomorrah due to sin (Gen. 19) or His sentencing of the Israelites to wander for forty years because of their grumbling (Num. 14) and begin to get a picture of God like a Father who flies off the handle. When that happens, we’re missing part of the story.

Yes, God’s anger is fierce. But the Bible also tells us that His anger is:

  • Reluctant and short-lived.
  • The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Ex. 34:6).

  • Consistent with His righteous and merciful character.
  • God is a righteous judge (Ps. 7:11).

  • Ultimately what He uses to make us more like Him.
  • "But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner’s fire and like fullers’ soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the LORD. Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the LORD as in the days of old and as in former years" (Mal. 3:2–4).

And what is it that makes God angry, anyway?

  • Idolatry—worshiping something other than Him
  • Unbelief—not believing He is who He said He is
  • Disobedience—not following His commands
  • Pride—thinking you’re the center of the universe
  • Hypocrisy—saying one thing and doing another
  • Grumbling—whining about what God has or has not done
  • Injustice—violating the rights of others

It is because of God’s righteous anger that the Bible commands us to fear Him (Prov. 1:7). But fearing His righteous judgment is not the same as worrying He might zap you. It’s the difference between revering someone who rightfully sees your sin and wants to correct it and seeing God like a cop in your rearview mirror.

Mad for me.

As we look at His anger in the Word, we see that its purpose is always correction—to move His people away from sin and toward Him. His reaction to sin is so strong because of these truths:

God takes our sin seriously and yes, it angers Him, but He is mad for us not at us.

But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear (Isa. 59:2).

For the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23).

We have a way of convincing ourselves that sin won’t hurt us, but God knows better. He knows our sin separates us from Him. He knows that ultimately our sin leads to death. Yes, He takes our sin seriously and yes, it angers Him, but He is mad for us not at us.

He is mad for the ways sin will wreak havoc on our lives.

He is mad for the ways sin keeps us from Him.

He’s mad for the ways sin mars His creation.

He is mad for the chains that sin puts on our spirits.

God is not moody. He doesn’t fly off the handle. He isn’t disappointed in me because I slept through my quiet time. He isn’t mad at me because I’m not perfect. He is angered by my sin because of His deep love.

Is God mad at you?

I wonder if when you think of God, you feel like a girl sitting outside the principal’s office? Do you live in a perpetual state of fear that He is mad at you, that you have somehow disappointed Him again?

If so, can I invite you to ask the Lord to show you the truth about His anger? Then join me in studying the anger of God in His Word. To get you started, here’s a great resource from BibleGateway.com that I borrowed from for this post.

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

Is God mad at you? Find out on @lywbblog today.

Freebie Friday! The Quiet Place

Freebie Friday

Think of a quiet place.

Go on . . . surely you can think of one spot in your world that is totally quiet?

No?

Hmmm . . . that must make it hard to be this kind of girl:

But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious (1 Pet. 3:4).

In a world that seems to constantly be screaming at us, finding a quiet place to pray and read the Bible can be tough! That’s why this week we’re giving away The Quiet Place by Lies Young Women Believe co-author Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Here’s what Nancy writes in the book’s introduction:

Far too often, far too many of us—myself included—opt for checking Facebook over meditating on His Book, playing Words with Friends over savoring the Word of our dearest Friend.

If that describes you, be sure to enter our Freebie Friday giveaway this week to win A Quiet Place.

Here’s how you win!

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This Ain’t About Throwbacks

Women at home rocking tea-length dresses, frilly aprons, and adorable high heels, vacuuming with an Electrolux vacuum, while their 2.5 children play quietly nearby . . .

Is this the picture of perfect womanhood?

If you listen to the cultural debate on gender roles, you might think so. Too often, when we talk about womanhood, the discussion disintegrates into two sides trying to draw hard lines in the sand on issues like . . .

  • Whether or not women should work outside the home.
  • Who wears the proverbial pants at work, at church, and in the home?
  • What is femininity, exactly?

The problem with drawing lines in the sand is that, inevitably, the tides turn and those lines get washed away. Just as soon as everyone seems to settle in to a new concept of womanhood, the culture shifts, and we are left to debate gender roles all over again.

Since sin slithered its way into a woman’s heart, womanhood God’s way has always been a struggle.

These are interesting times for sure. I believe that gender is the battlefield on which God’s Word is currently being challenged. I believe that when it comes to womanhood, the traditional will soon become radical and that womanhood according to God’s design is well on it’s way to being seen as an “alternative lifestyle choice.” I believe the reasons why I am not a feminist (you can read more about that in yesterday’s post) will continue to be tested and tried, stretched and debated in every public forum in the years to come.

None of that scares me, because this ain’t about throwbacks. It’s about choosing to look at God’s Word as the plumbline for who I am made to be.

True womanhood is not about returning to some ideological era where men went to work and women happily stayed home and did laundry while raising adorable, obedient children. Despite what your scrapbooks may tell you, that era never existed.

There has never been a golden age of womanhood. There’s never been a window of time when the culture all agreed on what womanhood should look like and living God’s way was fully accepted and en vogue.

Want proof? Check out the battle that raged in the heart of the first woman.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?'” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,” but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die.” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And the sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths” (Gen. 3:1–7).

We see in Eve a woman who . . .

  • desperately wanted independence
  • ignored the authority God had placed over her
  • wanted to call the shots
  • forgot the promises of God
  • twisted Scripture to fit her agenda
  • flirted with sin and became entangled

Sound familiar?

Yesterday, I defined feminism this way:

  • valuing independence over dependence
  • resisting authority
  • convincing women that their roles are undesirable or second class

When we look at Genesis 3, we see feminism wasn’t born in college classrooms or women’s liberation rallies. Feminism was born in the Garden of Eden. The lie that women are free to step outside of God’s plan for them without consequences was whispered into the very first woman’s ear. It has continued to be whispered ever since. The battle to live according to God’s design isn’t a modern one. It has been raging since the beginning.

So to be clear, I’m not passionate about a cultural return to the 1950s. Frankly, vacuuming in high heels has never been my thing! This isn’t about finding some spot on the map of history and saying, “Look there! That was a time when women got things right.” Since sin slithered its way into a woman’s heart, womanhood God’s way has always been a struggle.

While the message of true womanhood can get a little tangled amidst the cultural debate, it’s really quite simple.

  • I believe that God created men and women, as equal but distinct image-bearers of God.
  • I believe that since He is our Creator, He gets to decide how our gender is best displayed.
  • I believe that He outlined the blueprint for womanhood and manhood in His Word.
  • I believe that by seeking to be the woman He designed me to be, I am putting His glory on full display.

As you consider the culture war about gender and decide where you stand, can I encourage you not to run to some ideological age of history, but rather to run straight to God’s Word? I know what you’ll find—a description of your identity that is timeless and eternal (high heels optional!).

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read part one,”Why I’m Not a Feminist.”

Why I’m Not a Feminist

Drop this word into a room full of women and you’re sure to ignite a firestorm . . .

Feminism.

On the surface level, feminism looks benign. If feminism is simply the advocacy for women’s rights based on the idea that we are equal to men, I’m a believer.

My gender theology comes from Genesis 1:27.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

From the very first book of the very first chapter of the Bible, we see that men and women were created equal by God, equally esteemed by God, and given the equal and complementary task of being image-bearers of God.

The Bible is clear, when it comes to our value to the Creator, men and women are equal.

But the message of feminism does not stop there. You may be wondering, Who cares? This isn’t a blog about historical social movements after all. Didn’t women leave their bra-burning ways back a couple of decades ago?

In truth, feminism is the radical idea that women are god, capable of being their own authorities.

Actually, no. The message of feminism is alive and well, and it is no longer relegated to liberal university classrooms and Washington D.C. As the granddaughter of a feminist, I am increasingly aware of the ways the message of feminism has trickled into my heart and mind. I’m not the only one. A new wave of feminism is swelling among my peers and the generation under us.

As Christian women, it’s wise for us to consider the message of feminism and squeeze it through the grid of God’s Word. I don’t have all of the answers, but I know this: Because of the Bible, I am not a feminist. Here’s why.

Feminism Values Independence over Dependence

I recently saw these promises on the cover of a popular teen magazine . . .

  • Girl Power
  • Live Your Dreams
  • Score Total Independence
  • Make Your Own $$
  • Starting Now!!!”

While financial independence is a good thing, “total independence” is not God’s plan (especially for the thirteen through sixteen year olds this magazine targets). God does not intend for us to be renegades who live without the assistance and accountability that our families, friends, and churches offer. Even more than that, God wants us to depend on Him, not take the proverbial bull by the horns.

As a little girl in a post-feminist world, I was taught that being an independent woman was a dream come true. But can I be honest? It didn’t do me any good to be taught that independence was my highest good. That kind of thinking didn’t prepare me for marriage. It didn’t prepare me to be a contributing member of the Church. It didn’t prepare me to depend on the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5–6 says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Feminism asserts that it’s a woman’s right to do, be, feel whatever she wants, regardless of the input of others. Because of that . . .

Feminism Resists Authority

The Bible is clear that authority is for our good. Romans 13:1–7 insists that everyone (men and women) be subject to governing authorities because all authority is “approved by God” (v. 1). First Peter 2:13–25 urges us to be subject to every human institution. Why? “For the Lord’s sake” (v. 13). Hebrews 13:17 encourages us to obey our spiritual authorities with joy and without groaning. And finally, in a passage that has a tendency to really ruffle feminist feathers, Ephesians 5:22–23 urges wives to submit to the authority of their husbands.

When you study the totality of God’s Word, it’s clear that God commands us to honor and obey our authorities for our own good. No authority is beyond His reach. No one has more say in our lives than He does.

Ultimately, the way we respond to our human authorities is very likely to be how we respond to the authority of God. If we arch our backs and pump our fists at every person and institution that infringes on our perceived rights, we are likely to respond in kind to God when He calls us to surrender to Him.

One of the mantras of feminism is that “feminism is the radical idea that women are people.” In truth, feminism is the radical idea that women are god, capable of being their own authorities.

Feminism Denigrates the Roles of Wife and Mother

Famous feminist Gloria Steinem said, “A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.”

If sex outside of the covenant of marriage and work outside of the home are the trademarks of liberation, you can count me out.

Idol worship never meets our needs. Only God can do that.

While the headlining message of feminism has always been equal rights for men and women, a consistent, secondary message has been that women need more than being “just” wives and moms. This just doesn’t jive with the truth that God highly values the roles of wife and mother.

I could shout from this soapbox all day, but I think this point is best made with just two passages of Scripture.

In Ephesians 5:32 Paul is describing marriage when he says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for His bride. As wives, we are putting the mystery of the gospel on display. That picture is cheapened when we devalue marriage.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Children are a blessing, not a burden. Motherhood is sacred, not old fashioned or out of date.

Feminism Doesn’t Work

As a young woman with a shallow understanding of God’s Word and a steady drip of feminist ideals into my heart, I didn’t know it, but I was a feminist. I believed I was the captain of my own destiny, that the path to fulfillment was through a killer career, and that men were best avoided or controlled. But you know what? It didn’t work.

Independence left me lonely.
Success left me addicted.
My new marriage was stretched and strained.

Ultimately, the promises of feminism just didn’t hold true. It is a belief set that ultimately promotes self to the point of idolatry. Idol worship never meets our needs. Only God can do that.

There are lots of causes I’d gladly march in support of, but feminism just isn’t one of them. God’s blueprint is what’s best for me as a woman. The message of feminism is a cheap substitute.

Mind hopping back on the blog tomorrow so we can continue this conversation with my follow-up post, “This Ain’t About Throwbacks?”

Until then, I’d love to hear from you. How has the message of feminism impacted you? How do you think it holds up to the magnifying glass of God’s Word?

Read part two, “This Ain’t About Throwbacks.”

 

Freebie Friday! A 30-Day Walk with God in the Psalms

Freebie Friday

I’m so proud of you, LYWB.com readers! If I had a refrigerator big enough for all 30,000 of you, your picture would be on it! Why?

Because you have a genuine desire to study and learn God’s Word. In fact, just a couple of weeks ago when I tested your biblical literacy, you told me things like . . .

As the summer starts and school ends, I am going to make a real effort to get into the Word more—more than once a day.

I seriously needed a slap in the face to stop claiming I’m a devoted Christian but not studying the Word. I will put in the effort to read it every day.

I’m gonna try to read the Bible on a daily basis! Pray for me that earthly distractions won’t get in my way.

If you’re one of those girls who made a commitment to reading God’s Word more this summer, I know what you’re thinking . . .

Now what?

How do I study the Bible?

Freebie Friday to the rescue! For the next three weeks I will be giving away great Bible study resources guaranteed to help you dig into God’s Word.

First up is A 30-Day Walk with God in the Psalms by Lies Young Women Believe co-author Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Based on thirty of Nancy’s favorite psalms, this book will show you how to:

  • prepare your heart.
  • listen to God.
  • discover what the passage says.
  • explore what the passage means.
  • make the passage a part of your life.
  • respond to God.

Sounds like great summer reading to me!

How to win

Leave us a comment with your response to the question below (be sure to click the "I Commented" button in the giveaway widget once you’ve done so). For extra chances to win, share about this post on Twitter or Pinterest using the giveaway tool. If you don’t have a Twitter or Pinterest account, no worries! These are more like extra credit. Be sure to give us your correct email address with your comment. We will only use this to contact you if you win. No spam . . . ew.

Giveaway Question: What’s your favorite psalm?

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A Godly Girl's Guide to Fighting

A Godly Girl's Guide to Fighting

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" (Matt. 18:15–17).

God gives very specific instructions for how to confront a friend. Let’s break it down.

When to confront a friend.

Did you notice when this passage instructs us to confront a friend? "If your brother sins against you" (v. 15).

If it’s just your preference or your feelings that are on the line, it’s probably best to let it slide.

If your friend is gossiping about you, that’s a sin (Rom. 1:29).

If she has taken something that belongs to you, that’s a sin (Luke 18:20).

If she often loses her temper with you, that’s a sin (James 1:20).

If she just doesn’t want to hang out as often as you’d like, that’s not a sin.

If she has a new friend she’s spending a lot of time with, that’s not a sin.

If she put something on her Facebook wall that might or might not have been directed at you, that is not a sin.

To be clear, sin violates the standards of God. If it matters to God, it matters. If it’s just your preference or your feelings that are on the line . . . it is probably best to let it slide.

Proverbs 19:11 says, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

In other words, it is wise to simply let some things go.

With this in mind, if your friend’s sin still warrants a confrontation, this is how God wants us to go about it.

Step 1: Have the talk.

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother" (v. 15).

How do you confront a friend? You go to her and talk to her.

Sounds simple enough, but usually we complicate it.

Notice it doesn’t say "send her a text." (And I don’t think that’s because texting hadn’t yet been invented yet!) It doesn’t say "talk to someone else asking for advice before you talk to your friend." It doesn’t say "act really weird around her and hope that she will get the hint and come and talk to you."

If there is a problem, go to your friend one on one. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars. Do not skip this step. The only way to have godly conflict is to start with a one-on-one conversation.

Step 2: Get a mediator.

"But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses" (v. 16).

So you talked to your friend and it didn’t go well. What next?

You take one or two other friends and all gang up on her, right?

Wrong!

Yes, the Bible does say to try the talk again with two or three others (it’s talking about other members of the Church here), but this is not about ganging up on the friend who has sinned.

Look again. What is the purpose of those additional friends? To collect evidence.

They are there to listen. They are there to hear both sides. They should also be willing and able to pray.

They aren’t there to act as your backup. They aren’t there to bully. They aren’t there to intimidate.

This step is called mediation. Mediation is intervention that leads to reconciliation. Choose mediators who love God, know His Word, and love both you and your friend.

Step 3: Get your church involved.

The Bible doesn’t say that now is a good time to jump ship. It doesn’t say to ditch the friend because you’ve tried and she just hasn’t listened. The Bible urges us to keep trying with more and more assistance from others who want to see godly reconciliation happen.

"If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church” (v. 17).

Psalm 133:1 says, "Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!"

It’s good for Christians, it’s good for the church, and it’s good for the lost world for Christians to get along. If mediation doesn’t work, ask your pastor or youth pastor to get involved.

Step 4: Love extravagantly.

"And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (v. 17).

Gentile?

Tax collector?

That sounds like some pretty nasty name-calling, right? Surely Jesus is giving us permission to write our friend off at this point. Not exactly.

When they heard these things they fell silent. And they glorified God, saying, "Then to the Gentiles also God has granted repentance that leads to life" (Acts 11:18).

And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclined with Jesus and his disciples (Matt. 9:10).

What did Jesus do to Gentiles and tax collectors? He befriended them. He offered them grace they didn’t deserve. He loved them extravagantly even though they couldn’t reciprocate. He continued to teach them the truth.

If you’ve confronted your friend God’s way and she still doesn’t respond, you don’t get to jump ship. Instead you get to continue to offer love, prayers, and hopes of reconciliation.

Willing to fight God’s way.

If you’re like me, God’s plan doesn’t exactly match up with how I handle conflicts in my life. Instead, I tend to vent, gossip, and brush friends off. But I’m asking God to teach me how to handle conflict His way in the future.

Join me?

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

God’s guide for fighting fair today on @lywbblog. (Be sure to include a link to today’s post).

Four Questions to Ask Before You Confront a Friend

Four Questions to Ask Before You Confront a Friend

You call your best friend and pour your heart out about a big event coming up in your life. When the big day comes, you don’t hear a word from her. Not a call. Not a text. Not an email. You feel ignored and unimportant.

The two of you used to do everything together. You were so much alike you joked that you were sisters separated at birth. But lately she’s just stopped calling. When you see her she acts totally weird.

It’s because you both love Jesus so much that you’ve become such great friends. You always sit together in youth group. You’ve done Bible studies together. You keep each other accountable. But lately she’s started seeing a boy in secret that her parents don’t approve of. She doesn’t want to talk about it with you, and you can tell her passion for Jesus is starting to fizzle.

I wish these were hypothetical scenarios, pulled from my imagination.

They are not. All of these situations have happened to me. In some cases, I was the girl who was wronged. In many, I was the girl hurting others. Whether you can see yourself in these exact stories or not, I’m sure you can think of situations in your life when friendships were strained. That’s because . . .

Relationships are messy.

Loving others like God means agreeing to get messy.

I love how Colleen Chao put it in this post on TrueWoman.com. (That’s our big sister blog!)

Until my late twenties, I thought agape love was synonymous with simple, harmonious relationships. Life experience has proven, however, that to love someone selflessly often means opening myself up to relational conflict, hurt, and disappointment.

That word agape comes from the Bible, and it describes selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. It’s the kind of love God calls us to have for others. Sometimes we think that God’s plan for love must be sweet and nice and easy. But agape love doesn’t work that way. Loving others like God means agreeing to get messy.

This can be especially true when we need to confront a friend. But God’s got our backs. He outlines very specific instructions for how to confront a friend in His Word. We’ll get to that soon, but before you confront a friend, here are four questions God’s Word urges us to ask.

Question 1: Am I angry?

Anger might be the first red flag that you’re not ready to confront your friend.

Proverbs 29:11 says it is foolish to give full vent to your anger but wise to stay under control. James 1:20 urges us to be slow to anger. Ecclesiastes 7:9 says that anger resides in the lap of fools.

Let me say it another way.

Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean you have to say it.

Perhaps there needs to be a bigger reason to confront your friend than simply that she made you mad.

Question 2: Am I judging?

Matthew 7:1–5 says, "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."

Before you run to your friend about the sin in her life, make sure you are judging her by God’s standards, not simply your own preferences.

Confronting our friends about sin is serious business. While we shouldn’t shy away from it, we also need to realize that we have a responsibility to deal with our own sin before confronting someone else about theirs.

Before you run to your friend about the sin in her life, make sure you are judging her by God’s standards, not simply your own preferences, and that you have been just as watchful for your own sin as you are for hers.

Question 3: Am I trying to win?

What’s your real motivation for confronting your friend? Do you want to prove that you’re right? Do you want to make her feel bad because she made you feel bad? Do you want to impress someone else?

Philippians 2:3–4 says, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

The most important person in any potential confrontation is the other person. Instead of thinking about what you will get out of a conflict, the Bible urges you to think of the other person first. If you’re not ready to see it from her point of view, you’re not ready to confront.

Question 4: Do I love peace?

Romans 12:18 says, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."

I know what you’re thinking . . .

"But she . . ."

"But you don’t understand what’s going on . . ."

"But I’ve tried and she just won’t . . ."

God knew about our tendency to pass the buck, and that’s why He says, "So far as it depends on you." In other words, do your part to get along. Who should we live at peace with? All. Everyone. Even that friend who is hard to live at peace with.

Do you love peace or do you love drama? Do you do everything in your power to live at peace with everyone in your world or do you do things to contribute to conflict and chaos?

Before you confront, you need to spend some time asking God to help you love peace.

A Godly Girl’s Guide to Fighting

After you’ve wrestled with these questions, there may still be a need to confront your friend. Then what? God gives us a step-by-step guide for confrontation in Matthew 18:15–17. We’ll put that passage under the microscope in tomorrow’s post. Would you mind reading it today as homework?

In the meantime, tell me about a time when you confronted a friend. Looking back, did you ask these questions first? How would things have turned out differently if you had?

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Are you fighting mad at a friend? Here are four questions to answer before you go to her. (Be sure to include a link to today’s post.)

Freebie Friday! Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl

Freebie Friday

Wanna play Simon Says?

Simon says if you like free stuff. As in . . .

  • F-R to the double E
  • Swag
  • Something that costs free dollars and freedy free cents
  • A gift

Raise your hand!

I’m assuming your hand is up!

We all like free stuff. That’s why I am so excited to announce LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com Freebie Fridays!

How does it work?

You visit our blog every Friday, and we give you free stuff! And not just any free stuff. We have plans to give you great resources loaded with truth from God’s Word.

What’s the catch?

There isn’t one. Just read the post, and do what it asks. Sometimes we will ask you to leave a comment. Sometimes we will ask you to share us on your social networks. Sometimes we will pick your brain. (Don’t worry; it doesn’t hurt!) We will pick a winner each week and send free stuff your way.

Drum roll please

Let’s kick it off with Confessions of A Boy-Crazy Girl by our very own Paula!

Why this book? Check out this description:

     

  1. You spot a cute boy (we’ll call 
him Boy A).
  2. You dream about Boy A.
  3. You do whatever it takes 
to make Boy A notice you.
  4. Even though Boy A doesn’t pursue you, you hang 
on to your dream of Boy A until he (a) moves to the North Pole with no access to 
a cell phone or computer, (b) dies and is buried or cremated, or (c) begins dating 
another girl.
  5. You mend your broken heart by hating Boy A and finding another cute boy (Boy B). You replace Boy A with Boy B and begin all over again . . .  

Paula has gone through an entire alphabet—and more—of boys over the years.
As she shares her journal entries and stories—the good, the bad, and the ugly—you’ll be encouraged to trust God with your love life and buckle up for the ride!

Simply put, it’s a book every girl needs!

How to win it

Answer a couple of questions, and you’ll be entered to win. You can get extra chances to win by sharing us on your social networks. We will pick a winner next Wednesday. You are welcome to enter every day between now and then.

Oh, and . . .

Simon says put your hands down!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Why I’m Sick of Women’s Conferences

I’ve been to eight women’s conferences in the last three months. I’ve got the t-shirts to prove it. As a Bible teacher, I have the privilege of attending lots of these events to speak. I meet beautiful women with hearts full to the brim with a desire to serve Jesus at every single one. But can I be honest? I’m a little sick of women’s conferences.

Tired of the Message

It’s not that I’m tired of being with other women. (I’m a mom of three boys, I’ll take all of the estrogen I can get!)

I’m not sure I could ever grow weary worshiping in a sanctuary full of women.
I love to hear the testimonies of how God has worked in the lives of others.
And usually, the food’s great too!

But there’s a message I hear at most women’s conferences (and young women’s conferences) that needs revisited. I heard it spoken from almost every stage I sat near this spring.

It sounds something like this . . .

You’re beautiful.
You’re valuable.
You matter.

What’s my beef with a message that warm and fuzzy? It’s a good message. But it’s not the message that women most need to hear.

The Message We Really Need

I understand how we got here. We live in a culture that pillages women’s self-esteem by screaming at us that we must be thinner, tanner, and more organized. It’s hard to stand tall when the pressures of our culture force our collective shoulders to sag and our heads to drop. And a woman who does not understand her value is guaranteed to cause some collateral damage in her relationships. Yes, women need to be told they matter.

We don’t need messages that turn our focus toward ourselves. We need messages that pry our eyes away from our needs, our wants, our desires . . . and toward Jesus and His calling that we serve others.

But we don’t matter because we’re beautiful. We don’t matter because we have what it takes. It’s not our self-esteem that needs attended to. It’s our spirits.

We need to be reminded that Jesus is the source of Living Water. The headwaters of everything we need are found in Him.

Instead of hearing that we matter, we need to hear how much the God of the Universe matters. We are small and insignificant compared to his vast glory. We need to hear that He treasures us anyway (Mal. 3:17).

Instead of hearing that we are beautiful, we need to be reminded that God’s Word is beautiful. It is a treasure trove full of riches beyond measure. If we study it and apply it, we can have “imperishable beauty” (1 Pet. 3:4). The fountain of youth is only found in God’s Word.

Instead of hearing that we have what it takes to make it in this world, we need to be reminded that we are poor (Ps. 86:1), needy (Ps. 109:22), and sinful (Eccl. 7:20). The message we need to hear over and over is the life-giving Gospel, that Christ died to set us free from sin and death; that because of His sacrifice we can have victory. We cannot do it without Him, but through Him and because of Him we can do all things (Phil. 4:13).

When we allow women to walk out of our conferences and churches feeling better about themselves but less dependent on Christ, we are doing them a disservice. Women don’t need fluff. We need the meaty Truth of the Gospel straight from the Word of God. We don’t need messages that turn our focus toward ourselves. We need messages that pry our eyes away from our needs, our wants, our desires . . . and toward Jesus and His calling that we serve others.

Simply put, the message that every woman needs is the Gospel. Without it, we are just spinning our wheels.

How about you? Will you join me in pointing women toward messages that matter?

Psst . . . If you’re tired of the fluff, I’d love for you to join me at True Woman ’14. This will be my fourth time to attend a True Woman conference. I can’t get enough, because it’s a woman’s event that points women to Jesus and His Word. I never walk away full of myself, but always leave full of Truth straight from God’s Word.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Who Am I? The Good, the Bad, and the Gospel.”

 

A Test You Don't Want to Flunk

A Test You Don't Want to Flunk

I once heard the story of an old man who knew the Bible frontward and backward. He had huge chunks of Scripture memorized. He was so familiar with the Word that he could look up what he needed in it without a concordance or fancy Bible app. His copy of the Bible was well worn and well loved.

Not surprisingly, knowing the Bible this well made a huge difference in the old man’s life. After all, God’s Word has the power to:

Seeing the difference the Bible made in his life, a young man approached the old man and asked how he could know the Bible so well.

The old man said, "You don’t want to know the Bible like I do."

Shocked, the young man asked why not.

"Because you don’t want to do the studying that’s required."

The young man walked away sad, because he knew the old man was right.

Just the Facts Ma’am

The bottom line is that knowing the Word of God takes work. We can’t simply download it into our brains. We won’t learn it by looking at our Bibles as they sit on our nightstands. We can’t just quote John 3:16 every once in a while and say we know the Bible. To know God’s Word—really know God’s Word—we have to study.

The reality is that most of us aren’t willing to do that kind of work. Researchers have done some digging, and they’ve found that Christian teens don’t know much more about the Bible than their non-Christian peers. Only 16 percent of you read your Bible daily. Only 12 percent of you manage to read it once a week. Only 9 percent of you say you are highly knowledgeable about the Bible.

It is impossible to grow in your faith, understand who God is, and live the way He wants you to live without regularly studying His Word.

I’m not trying to embarrass you; I struggle to study my Bible regularly, too. But I want you to understand an important bottom line . . .

It is impossible to grow in your faith, understand who God is, and live the way He wants you to live without regularly studying His Word.

There are no Cliff’s Notes (or Wikipedia entries) for knowing God’s Word. Diligent study is required, but I am confident that if the old man were the one writing this post, he would tell you that without a doubt, the benefits of knowing God’s Word are worth the effort.

So how well do you know God’s Word? Wanna find out? Here are some questions to use as a litmus test. You’ll find the answers at the end.

The Quiz

  1. Name the Ten Commandments.
  2. Did you know? Sixty percent of Americans cannot name even five of the Ten Commandments?

  3. True or False: "God helps those who helps themselves" is a quote from the Bible.
  4. Did you know? Eighty-two percent of Americans would answer "yes"!

  5. Genesis tells the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. What were Sodom and Gomorrah?
    1. sisters
    2. a husband and wife
    3. two cities
  6. Did you know? Fifty percent of high school seniors think they are a husband and wife.

  7. Name the twelve disciples.
  8. Did you know? Research shows that most Christians cannot identify more than three disciples.

  9. Which of these quotes came from the Sermon on the Mount?
    1. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you.”
    2. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son.”
    3. "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”
    4. "You shall have no other gods before me.”
  10. Extra credit: Who preached the Sermon on the Mount?

Did you know? Only 37 percent of teenagers can answer this question correctly, and many teenagers think the Sermon on the Mount was preached by Billy Graham.

The Cheat Sheet

  1. Here is an abbreviated version of the Ten Commandments. Be sure to check out the real deal in Exodus 20:1–17.
    • No other gods before God.
    • No idols.
    • Do not take God’s name in vain.
    • Remember the Sabbath. Keep it holy.
    • Honor your father and mother.
    • Do not murder.
    • Do not commit adultery.
    • Do not steal.
    • Do not bear false witness.
    • Do not covet.
  2. False.
  3. Sodom and Gomorrah were cities destroyed by God because of their sin in Genesis 19.
  4. The names of the twelve disciples (also known as apostles) are listed in Matthew 10:2–4 and include: Simon (Peter), Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Thomas, Matthew, James, Thaddaeus, Simon, and Judas.
  5. a. The Sermon on the Mount was preached by Jesus in Matthew 5–7.

The Grade

How’d ya do?

Option 1: You did great! You know your stuff. Why do you know your stuff? Because you make a habit of regularly reading God’s Word. But don’t give yourself too many gold stars yet. There’s still so much to learn. Here’s your homework: study the Bible often.

Option 2: You didn’t do so great. Here’s something to make you feel better—12 percent of high schoolers think that Joan of Ark was Noah’s wife. For real! The good news is that today is a great day to become someone who studies God’s Word. Here’s your homework: study the Bible often.

We’ll be talking more about why the Bible matters later this month. In the meantime, who are you more like—the old man who is willing to do the work to know the Word of God or the young man who isn’t?

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a Tweet you can totally steal from us: 

How well do you know God’s Word? Take this quiz and find out. (Be sure to include a link to today’s post.)

The Perfect Summer Internship

The Perfect Summer Internship

 

Summer is great. Swimming . . . yay! Watermelon seed spitting contests . . . uh huh! (Or is that just something we country girls do?) Fireworks, BBQs, telling the alarm clock to take a hike—these are the many perks of summer.

But let’s be honest, it’s only possible to have so many movie marathons before we all start to feel a little . . . bored.

You may not have hit the summer slump yet. (Some of you may still be smack dab in the middle of finals—yuck!) But I’ve got an idea to keep summer boredom far, far away.

Are you ready for it?

It’s the perfect summer internship!

I’m not suggesting you call up a doctor, a lawyer, or a dentist to shadow them for the summer. I’d rather prepare you for a more important role. This summer, I’d love for you to spend time learning the craft of motherhood.

A mom? Really?!

Yep, really!

Here are a few reasons why.

God sees children as a blessing.

Psalm 127:3 says, "Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD."

 

We don’t need to compare the Greek and the Hebrew here. We don’t need to ask a Bible professor to help us break this down. The Bible is clear. Children are a blessing from God.

Most moms would tell you that even though their children demand much of them, they are in fact a blessing.

But it doesn’t always feel that way, does it?

That’s because children demand much of us. They require us to alter our plans for our lives. They demand much of our schedule. They change our bodies.

It is very easy to look at parenting from the outside and think, No way! I don’t want any part of that.

That’s why you need an inside view. Most moms would tell you that even though their children demand much of them, they are in fact a blessing. But you’ve got to spend some time with moms to have these conversations, and you’ve got to spend some time with kiddos to realize that’s not just something moms say. God’s right. Children really are a gift.

God thinks moms rock!

God highly values mothers throughout His Word. We live in a culture that says motherhood is a lesser calling to getting a degree, having a great job, and traveling the world. But God doesn’t hold that view.

 

Moms have tremendous power to influence their kids toward following Jesus.

Why is God such a fan of moms? Because He sees them as missionaries! Moms don’t just do laundry, cook dinners, and dish out discipline. Moms are the first place most of us ever hear about God. For better or for worse, our moms are where we look for spiritual guidance and wisdom. Moms have tremendous power to influence their kids toward following Jesus.

God esteems moms because what they are doing matters so much. (Think about your own mom for a minute. Hasn’t she played a HUGE role in your faith?)

Moms need help!

I’m a mom of three boys under age seven. My house is always engulfed in beautiful chaos. An extra pair of hands to serve up plates of mac and cheese, bandage skinned knees, and help find Star Wars LEGOS would be welcome any day.

 

Yes, children are a blessing. Yes, motherhood is a ministry. But that doesn’t change the fact that motherhood is tough!

You could be a tremendous blessing to a mom in your world by offering to help a couple of mornings a week this summer. (If you happen to live in Nowheresville, Missouri like me . . . hook a momma up!)

Helping a mom gives you a chance to serve someone in need. The Bible promises that this is the way to get our hearts filled to the brim.

Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered (Prov. 11:25).

If your heart is feeling a little dried up these days, serving someone else is just what you need! I know for certain that there’s a mom in your world who would love to be served in this way.

 

So, whadya say? Are you up for the perfect summer internship?

Leave me a comment below with your game plan.

And just in case you still need a little motivation to get off the couch, here’s a great video about motherhood. Watch it, then give your mom a hug and get to work.

 

 

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The Best Friend a Girl Could Want

The Best Friend a Girl Could Want

I’ve got a great friend.

He’s always available to listen to me and give advice. In fact, He gives better advice than anyone else I’ve ever known. He never steers me wrong. He is a capable and compassionate advisor.

He nudges me to be more like Jesus, gently pointing out sin in my life, and reminding me who God calls me to be.

When I am tempted, He pulls me toward an alternative, always reminding me that Jesus is better than the things my flesh desires.

When I am wobbly, He’s always on the scene ready to help. He’s never too busy for me. He’s always available.

He prays for me often. In fact, when I’m at the end of my rope and don’t have a clue what to pray, He just starts praying even harder. And let me tell you, when He prays, things happen.

He teaches me so much every single day. He’s the best friend a girl could hope for.

Want a friend like that? You can have it! Because these are the specific jobs of the Holy Spirit. (In fact, they’re just the tip of the iceberg.)

Here are some of the specific ways the Holy Spirit works in the lives of believers.

We can’t lose our salvation. The Holy Spirit seals it. And when you doubt if you are really saved, you can know you belong to God by the evidence of the Holy Spirit in your life.

He is our counselor (John 14:16). Don’t think school guidance counselor, helping you pick which math class to take; think a great conversation with the wisest person you know. He listens to us and then points us toward God’s truth.

He dwells with us and lives in us (John 14:17). If you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit lives in you. Don’t believe me? Check out Jesus’ words:

"Even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you" (emphasis added).

Remember that the Holy Spirit is God.

God dwells with you and in you! That’s a game changer. It means we are never alone. We are never without help. We aren’t left to try to figure everything out on our own. The Holy Spirit is with us and in us. Mind blowing, right?

He is our teacher (John 14:26). Have you ever been in a situation and suddenly a Bible passage just pops into your head? Have you ever learned a truth about God even without hearing your pastor preach on it? That’s the Holy Spirit! It’s His job to teach us about the things of God. Just like in school, the teacher can’t force us to listen in class or apply what we’ve learned. That’s our job.

He makes us more like Jesus (Rom. 15:16, Gal. 5:22–23). It is the Holy Spirit’s job to sanctify us. That’s a churchy word that simply means to make holy. The fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Brownie points if you have them all memorized!) It is the Holy Spirit’s job to make us more like Jesus. It’s not something we can do for ourselves. The Holy Spirit makes the difference between a good girl and a godly girl.

He convicts us of sin (John 16:8). You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know you’ve sinned? That’s from the Holy Spirit. Even though it may not feel like it, conviction is a gift because it reminds us of the holy standard God calls us to.

He keeps us away from sin (Gal. 5:16).

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Listening to the Holy Spirit keeps us from getting trapped by sin.

He changes our hearts (John 14:26, Rom. 8:14, 1 Cor. 2:6–14). Can’t seem to forgive that girl who hurt you? Can’t stop thinking about that guy who’s no good for you? Can’t stop thoughts of jealousy from swirling in your head? That’s because it’s nearly impossible for us to change our own hearts. (We can change our behavior, but that’s not the same thing.) Ask the Holy Spirit to change your heart. That’s His job.

He prays for us (Rom. 8:26).

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

I love this promise! When you don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit prays for you.

He seals us (Eph. 1:11–14).

Paul describes the Holy Spirit as a seal that guarantees the inheritance (heaven) that God has promised us.

We can’t lose our salvation. The Holy Spirit seals it. And when you doubt if you are really saved, you can know you belong to God by the evidence of the Holy Spirit in your life.

Have you seen the Holy Spirit work in these ways in your life? Leave me a comment to tell me about it.

Love this post? Share it! Here’s a tweet you can totally steal from us:

Need a friend who prays for you, gives great advice, and is available 24/7? We’ve got someone to introduce you to. (Be sure to include a link to today’s post.)

When We (kind of) Believe in Karma

We don’t want to cut back on ministry outreaches in the year ahead, so we’re asking the Lord to provide at least $435,000 by the end of this month. Will you help?

Two of my three sons have bad kidneys. That means that since my first ultrasound for my very first baby, we have carried the burden of knowing there is something inside our children’s bodies we cannot fix.

On good days you will hear me talk about how I know this was filtered through the fingers of a loving God. I’ll talk about prayer and faith and peace. I mean those things. I really do. I’m not just blowing smoke or trying to talk myself into something.

But there are bad days.

If karma existed, the sovereignty of God could not.

A really bad day came along several months ago. Judah, my third born son and second child with damaged kidneys, was just four weeks old. We were scheduled for an invasive test with a specialist. That morning I woke up feeling like a boulder had been tied around my chest. The weight of my fear was so heavy.

In the midst of the dread, and worry, and anxiety, this thought slithered its way into my heart . . .

“It’s because I’m a bad mom.”

I had done something to cause this. I was certain of it. More specifically, I had done something to deserve it. This was my punishment for all of those times I lost my cool. God blocked my baby’s kidneys because He was mad at me.

In other words, on some level . . .

I (kind of) believe in karma.

Karma is a spiritual principle that our actions create a force that will

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determine what happens to us. If we are good, good things happen. If we are bad, bad things happen. Buddhists believe that wholesome actions lead to happiness, and unwholesome actions lead to suffering. Hindus believe that how we act in this life will determine if we come back as a dung beetle or a rich ruler in the next.

But I’m a Christian. I believe that God is sovereign (Ps. 103:15–19); that every word of the Lord proves true (Prov. 30:5), and that He loves me, even when it doesn’t feel like it (Jer. 31:3). I believe my eternity is secured by the blood of Jesus, not my ability to tow the line (Heb. 10:19).

Thank goodness that karma is hogwash. Because nothing we do can scrub our hearts clean. Only Jesus can do that.

If karma existed, the sovereignty of God could not. How could God be in charge of all things, and I have the power to change my trajectory with every good and bad decision? If karma is real, the promises of God are not. Romans 8:31–39 promises that God is for me. That’s not the same as waiting to punish me every time I mess up.

And here’s the nail in karma’s coffin . . .

If karma is real, it makes the gospel null and void.

If karma exists, Christ would never have died for me. I certainly don’t deserve such ridiculous grace. My actions have not earned it. In fact, karma earned me a reservation in hell. I’ve done plenty of “unwholesome actions.” I deserve suffering. But Christ suffered in my place.

You know, our twisted sense of karma can work the other way, too? Karma tells us that we deserve God’s favor because we’ve been so good. We deserve for things to go smoothly in our lives because we read our Bibles, go to church, and cuss less than the people on TV. While some days I feel like I deserve to suffer because of the mistakes I make as a mom, there are other days when my heart screams, “Why did this have to happen to my children? Don’t you see all that I’ve done for you! I don’t deserve this.”

But God’s Word says no one is good (Ps. 53:3) and that compared to the blinding white holiness of God, my righteous deeds are nothing more than dirty rags (Isa. 64:6).

Thank goodness that karma is hogwash. Because nothing we do can scrub our hearts clean. Only Jesus can do that.

On bad days, I kind of believe in karma. But just because I believe it, doesn’t mean it’s true (Prov. 14:12).

What did I do on the day fear screamed that I earned my suffering?

I called a wise, older woman who was able to pray with me and preach God’s truth to my hurting heart.

“God loves you,” she said. “He will carry you through this.”

Her words provided enough clarity for me to know where to run next. I dropped my bucket down once again into the deep well of God’s Word. No karma there. Just life-saving, heart-healing, fear-lifting, path-straightening truth.

Truth like . . .

Jesus died for me. He died for my sons. He has faithfully carried us through every test and procedure. Not because we deserve it, or have earned it, but because He loves us. I don’t believe He’d turn His back on me in any operating room even on my worst parenting day.

Because karma isn’t real. God and the gospel are.

Do you (kind of) believe in karma? Here are three questions to help uproot that lie in your heart.

  • When suffering comes, do I suspect God is punishing me?
  • Do I feel like I deserve a comfortable life because I am a good Christian?
  • Do I grasp that it is the gospel that saves me, not my good works?

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Asking Why.”

 

Why Doesn't God Speak Out Loud to Me?

Why Doesn't God Speak Out Loud to Me?

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply. This week we’ll continue our conversation on how we hear the voice of God.

Last week, we looked at four ways God speaks. Here’s a recap:

  • God speaks to us through creation (Ps. 19:1).
  • God speaks to us through our conscience (Rom. 2:15).
  • God speaks to us through Jesus (Heb. 1:1–2).
  • God speaks to us through His Word (Heb. 4:12).

Here are four more ways we can hear the voice of God.

The Holy Spirit speaks to us.

Acts 8:27–29 records Philip hearing from God:

And he rose and went. And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah. And the Spirit said to Philip, "Go over and join this chariot."

Something similar happened to Peter in Acts 10:19–21:

And while Peter was pondering the vision, the Spirit said to him, "Behold, three men are looking for you. Rise and go down and accompany them without hesitation, for I have sent them." And Peter went down to the men and said, "I am the one you are looking for. What is the reason for your coming?"

In both cases, the Spirit gave very specific instructions.

Learning to recognize the promptings of the Holy Spirit takes some practice.

The Holy Spirit still speaks in this way. When you’re sitting in math class and you feel a sudden compulsion to go and talk to that lonely girl in the corner, that is likely the Holy Spirit telling you how God wants you to minister in that moment. When you’re in the middle of a fight with your mom and something inside you tells you to stop yelling and get quiet, it’s possible the Holy Spirit is prompting you to do what God has written in His Word by honoring her.

Learning to recognize the promptings of the Holy Spirit takes some practice. But once we learn the voice of the Holy Spirit, we are wise to follow the lead of Philip and Peter in the stories above and immediately obey.

We’ll talk more about the job of the Holy Spirit in next week’s Theology Thursday post.

God speaks to us through the Church.

In Acts 13:1–3, Paul and Barnabas receive specific instructions for missions work from the Holy Spirit, but pay close attention to who confirms the calling:

Now there were in the church at Antioch prophets and teachers, Barnabas, Simeon who was called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen a lifelong friend of Herod the tetrarch, and Saul. While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, "Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them." Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off.

Paul and Barnabas were in a church service, worshiping and seeking the Lord with other believers, when the Holy Spirit spoke clearly. They obeyed, but first they prayed with the other believers in the room and were sent out with their blessing.

God often uses other Christians to confirm what God is saying to us. There is wise accountability in surrounding yourself with other believers who can help you discern God’s voice.

God speaks to us through visions and dreams.

There are many occasions in the Bible where God speaks to people through visions and dreams. Here are just a few examples:

  • Daniel recorded his visions in Daniel 2 and Daniel 7.
  • Abimelech was visited by God in a dream in Genesis 20 after sinning.
  • Isaiah had a vision of God in heaven, which he recorded in the book of Isaiah.
  • Joseph (the shepherd with the fancy coat) received a prophecy about what was going to happen to his people through a dream in Genesis 37.
  • Joseph (Jesus’ stepdad) had a dream in which an angel told him to take Mary as his wife in Matthew 1. Matthew 2:13 records “an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Rise, take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt.’”

Since Malachi 3:6 tells us that God does not change, we can know that He is still capable of speaking to people through dreams and visions.

Joel 2:28 says, "And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions.”

Job 33:14–16 confirms that dreams are one way that God speaks to His people:

For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber on their beds, then he opens the ears of men and terrifies them with warnings.

While hearing from God in dreams and visions has never been the norm, there is clear evidence that this is one way He chooses to speak to His people.

God speaks out loud.

Both Jesus (Mark 1:11) and Paul (Acts 9:3–6) heard the audible voice of God speak from heaven. Moses heard the voice of God boom from a burning bush in Exodus 3.

God doesn’t need to speak out loud to us; He has written so much down for us in His Word.

It is possible for God to speak out loud to us, but it’s rare.

I know what you’re thinking (because I’ve thought it, too!). I wish God would give me a vision of heaven! I wish I could hear God speak out loud. I think we all have a tendency to want to have a conversation with God like we do with our best friend. But God doesn’t need to speak out loud to us; He has written so much down for us in His Word. Instead of waiting for some mystical experience in which God speaks, we can read His thoughts over and over in our Bibles.

Here are some great thoughts by John Piper on this, written after he had a dramatic encounter with the voice of God.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to guess about who God is or how He wants you to live. He has proven over and over that He is ready and willing to speak to us. We can hear from Him every single day through His Word.

How about you? How have you heard God speak?

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Giving God the All-In Card

Giving God the All-In Card

I was traveling recently and met a young woman who was doing big things for God. Things that stretch her beyond her comfort zone. Things that make her weird or different from other girls her age. Things that force her to lay her plans for her own life on the altar of God’s will.

When I asked her how she started down the radical path she was on, she said:

"Simple. A few years ago, I gave God the all-in card.

I doubt she offered God a physical card. But in her heart, she told God, "I’m all in. You can have every part of my life."

It was a prayer God heard and responded to. It is a prayer not many of us pray.

But Elisha did!

In 1 Kings 19:19–21, we find a little story jam-packed with truth about what it means to really go all in for God. With talk of oxen and cloaks, the context may seem a little odd, but stick with me as I introduce one of my favorite people of all time—Elisha. (I love him so much because he went all in!)

So [Elijah] departed from there and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen in front of him, and he was with the twelfth. Elijah passed by him and cast his cloak upon him. And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah and said, "Let me kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow you." And he said to him, "Go back again, for what have I done to you?" And he returned from following him and took the yoke of oxen and sacrificed them and boiled their flesh with the yokes of the oxen and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he arose and went after Elijah and assisted him.

Here’s the backstory: Elijah was a powerful prophet whom God used to clean up the land of Israel by kicking out false gods. Elijah’s mission was to call people back to a pure worship of God. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah had a little breakdown. He got super stressed because living on mission cost him a lot. In fact, the leaders of the nation wanted to kill him because of his preaching.

I’ll shoot you straight—giving God the all-in card usually comes with a cost. Elijah vented about all of this to God, and God responded by giving Elijah instructions to anoint Elisha as his successor. That’s where we pick things up in verse 19. Elijah finds Elisha in the field, he puts his cloak on him as a sign of taking him under his wing as an apprentice of sorts, and just like that Elisha is faced with the choice to go all in or to settle for a lukewarm faith.

Elisha went all in.

"Let me kiss my father and mother, and then I will follow you" (1 Kings 19:20).

Then he destroyed the oxen and headed off into a whole new life singularly focused on serving the Lord. Elisha didn’t hesitate. He didn’t play twenty questions with Elijah to make sure everything would work out according to his plan. He didn’t do a risk assessment. He kissed his old life goodbye and watched it burn.

Whatever’s keeping you from surrendering your whole life to God cannot compare to the adventure He has for you.

That’s what it looks like to go all in.

If your first reaction to Elisha’s bold response is to be afraid of what going all in might cost you, I want you to know that’s normal. We all have parts of our life we have a tendency to cling to. Going all in means putting those things all on the table and inviting God to do what He wants with them. That’s scary!

But for some perspective, consider what Elisha’s life would have been like if he had not gone all in.

On his very best day, he would have nothing to show for his life but a well-plowed field. He would spend his days looking at the hind end of an ox instead of the magnificent displays of God’s power he would experience in ministry.

Have you ever told God you’re all in? Have you surrendered every corner of your life and invited Him to do His will above yours?

If not, what’s keeping you from giving God the all-in card? What are you holding back from Him? What parts of your life are off limits to His control? Whatever it is, it cannot compare to the adventure God has for you. A life spent living lukewarm will ultimately look like plowing the same ol’ field year after year. Sure, there may be neat lines and familiar paths, but it’s still just a pile of dirt compared to what life totally surrendered to God’s plan looks like.

With that in mind, are you willing to go all in?

PS: Parts of this post are taken from my book My Name Is Erin: One Girl’s Mission to Make a Difference.

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If Your Donkey Doesn't Talk, Does God?

If Your Donkey Doesn't Talk, Does God?

the·ol·o·gy noun : the study of God

We study God through His Word each Thursday on the blog. Our goal is to present the truth of God in a way you can digest and apply. This week we’ll look at how we hear the voice of God.

A talking donkey

A burning bush

A quiet wind

A voice from heaven

A big book

A sheep fleece

A rainbow

A pillar of fire

A cloud of smoke

What do these things have in common?

They were each used as a mouthpiece of God, a tool through which He chose to speak to His people.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard the voice of God thunder from a burning bush. I am the proud owner of one ornery donkey named Bart, but I’ve never heard God’s voice boom through his bridle. I’ve never had a conversation with God in the same way I could talk to you if we were grabbing coffee together right now. (Caramel latte extra whip here, please!)

I believe that God still speaks to His people, but how does He do it?

If I want to hear the voice of God (I do! Don’t you?), where should I be listening?

Jesus put it this way:

"When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers" (John 10:4–5, emphasis added).

Just like a herd of sheep that follow the shepherd wherever he leads because they have learned to recognize the sound of his voice, we can become confident and obedient followers of Christ because when we hear Him speak, we know it’s Him. In other words, part of knowing God is knowing how to recognize His voice.

So how exactly does God speak? Here are four ways you can hear the voice of God.

God speaks through creation.

Psalm 19:1 says, "The heavens declare the gory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork." Psalm 8:1 says, "O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens."

No one can ever say they’ve never heard of God, because He chooses to let creation speak to us about what kind of God He is.

A beautiful sunset is God’s way of saying to us, "I am majestic!" A towering mountain peak or the waves crashing on a beach of sand are how He tells us about His magnificence. God has a message He wants to say to us about his glory and majesty. Creation is the billboard through which He speaks about these things.

That’s why Paul said, "For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse" (Rom. 1:20).

Creation is God’s first missionary. No one can ever say they’ve never heard of God, because He chooses to let creation speak to us about what kind of God He is.

This can get a little trippy. Creation itself is not God. We do not worship trees or flowers or birds. And creation itself does not speak on behalf of God. It doesn’t work like in Lord of the Rings, where the trees audibly speak as God’s messengers.

It’s more simple than that. God speaks to us about His character through the majesty of creation.

God speaks through our conscience.

Do you remember Jiminy Cricket? He was the adorable little cricket in a top hat who served as Pinocchio’s conscience in the iconic Disney movie Pinocchio.

We seem to live in an era that thinks Jiminy Cricket is dead. While the culture says that anything goes and that individuals are free to determine their own version of right and wrong, the Bible teaches a different truth.

For when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them (Rom. 2:14–15, emphasis added).

God wrote His law onto our hearts so that each of us would know right from wrong. That’s why as children, we knew we shouldn’t lie, steal, or punch even if our parents had not taught us that specific lesson yet. God speaks to us about who He is and how He wants us to live through our conscience. (Wouldn’t it be nice if we each had our own top hat-wearing cricket to help translate?)

God speaks to us through Jesus.

We don’t have to guess about who God is or how He wants us to live. He told us clearly and then took the time to write it down.

Have you ever wondered why we no longer have prophets like they did in the Old Testament, who relayed a specific message from the Lord? (Think Jonah’s message to Nineveh or Moses’ message to Pharaoh.)

Hebrews 1:1–2 gives us a very specific answer:

Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world.

When we study Jesus’ sermons and teachings, we are hearing from God. If you want to hear from God, study the words of Jesus.

A great place to start is the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5–7.

God speaks to us through His Word.

We don’t have to guess about who God is or how He wants us to live. He told us clearly and then took the time to write it down. Hebrews 4:12 says that the Bible is a living book—that’s because it was inspired by and points to a living God.

You don’t have to strain your ear and try to imagine the voice of God on the wind. You don’t have to wonder if you’re hearing your thoughts or God speaking in your head. God speaks to you through His Word. Studying the Bible is how you learn to recognize His voice.

Next week we will look at four more ways that God speaks to His people. Until then, I’d love to hear from you. Do you feel like you have ever heard God speak? How do you recognize the voice of God?

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