Start a Mom’s Group

Women meeting together with women creates a potent concoction. That’s why Paul passed the charge to disciple young moms and wives on to older women in Titus 2.

mom group

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:3-5).

For the modern momma, generational mentoring doesn’t just happen. Taping in to the power of other moms requires intention. The Church has the unique ability to fill in the gaps caused by geography and scheduling and to equip moms to swim upstream by lovingly raising their children for Christ.

You (yes, you!) can give teeth to Titus 2 by reaching out to the moms in your church.

That might look like a small group of women who meet once a month for coffee. It might look like a big group of women who attend meetings that are highly programmed. Maybe it means implementing the plans of a larger organization such as MOPS or Moms In Touch. Maybe it’s a Sunday school class focused on studying God’s Truth for moms. The shape and size of your group doesn’t matter, but it does matter that your church is intentional about being ambassadors for Christ to the moms in your community.

You can get more ideas about how to launch your own mom group in the book, “Beyond Bath Time” and read about what’s worked for other moms on our blog.  Contact us for great deals on resources for groups.

And here’s the best part—we’ve included gobs of FREE video content right here on the site for you to use with your group (Will be added soon). Simply click on the videos below to join 10 playdates with Beyond Bath Time author, Erin Davis and her mom friends. Use these videos for small group curriculum, discussion starters, Sunday school lessons or simply a boost of encouragement for your own mothering journey.

You need other moms and other moms need you. You can fulfill God’s calling to train other women to love their husbands and children well using God’s Word as your curriculum.

We’d love to hear about it! Be sure to leave us a comment on the blog about your mom group and let us know how we can help you widen your view of your role as mom and help others do the same.

When Wives Become Mothers (What Do Their Men Really Think?)

By Erin Davis

First, no … that is not a maternity shirt. It looked so much more flattering in my closet. (Darn you, squishy tummy!).

Second, yes … I have heard of those things called hairbrushes. We filmed this on Father’s Day which I opted to spend fishing off a lake dock. (I’d like to thank the Academy for the wife of the year nomination).

In real life I am 5’6″-ish. My man is 6’2″-fabulous. But in this video I look like a giant and he looks shrimpy. Needless to say, I realize this isn’t my most video worthy look. And yet, look at that handsome man beside me! And he’s smart too! He has some great insights on a husband’s perspective on what it’s like when your wife becomes a mommy along with some great tips on how we can love our men well during the little years.

So … I am scrapping my vanity, and sending this video out into the blogosphere with my head held high in all of my chartreuse glory, in the hopes that it will benefit another mother out there as she walks the tightrope of being a wife and am mom.

Join the conversation with Jason and I about how parenting impacts and changes our marriages by leaving a comment right here on this post. Unflattering top and post-fishing hair is, of course, always optional.

This Father’s Day Give Him the Gift of Being Enough

My man and my firstborn

I have a great husband. He loves being a dad and is very involved in our boys’ lives. He changes diapers, participates in discipline and picks up from preschool.

My man and my firstborn

And yet…I can never seem to shake the feeling that I wish he would do more.

Ever since I got pregnant with my first, Eli, it has seemed to me that the burden of parenting has landed more squarely on my shoulders than it does on my man’s. He can never be home enough, involved enough, or concerned enough for my taste. At my worst moments I feel (and sometimes say) that I have to do everything in our home. I reduce his role to being nothing more than our kid’s pal who comes home and wrestles them while they squeal with delight. I just have a hard time seeing what he does for our family and acknowledging that is contributions matter.

We mothers make the best of all martyrs.

Misery truly does love company. I take comfort in knowing I’m not the only one who struggles with discontentment in this way. Many of my mom friends have expressed frustration that their husbands work too much, move too slowly or engage too little. Before your mind starts writing a list of all the things your husband does wrong, might I propose a radical solution? Let him off the hook.

Oh, I do understand that he doesn’t do things your way. Yes, I’ve seen first hand what happens when dads are left to dress their children unsupervised. And I am well aware of what they think qualifies for a nutritious dinner. (Please pass the cheese puffs). But think hard about this predicament with me for a moment. Do we really want husbands who parent just like us? I know that you have mothering instincts and that no one knows your children quite like you do, but is having two identical parents really what’s best for your little ones? I’m thinking that God’s plan to create children through the combination of a woman and a man was not a floop. Perhaps the ways your husband parents differently from you actually have the power to benefit your children. (Feel free to read that sentence again to let it sink in).

The Mommy Wars shined a white-hot spotlight on the fact that our culture esteems a version of motherhood that is impossible and unattainable (to wave your white flag in surrender to that ideal click here). But no one cares to mention the Daddy Wars. A good dad needs to work at least one full-time job to be a good provider, spend quality time with each of his children while perpetually wooing their mother, be the spiritual leader of the family, be the emotional leader of the family, be the moral leader of the family…coach sports teams, lead family devotions, be involved in his church, never loose his cool, help with housework, manage lawncare, keep the oil changed, be the kind of man his daughters should marry and his sons should emulate and for heavens sakes he darn well better remember to take the trash out.

I’m not saying that any of these qualities are unimportant, but girls, lets acknowledge that even we could not keep all of these plates spinning perfectly (and we are Wonder women!).

For Father’s Day, I’d like to suggest that you give your man the gift of lowered expectations. We tend to frown on lowering expectations in our culture. It is seen as settling or a step in the wrong direction. I’m not advocating that you shoulder 100% of the parenting burden, but rather that you make a conscious decision to admire the partner you have rather than wishing for someone who does things differently.

Parenting together is a constant process of negotiating and re-negotiating boundaries and responsibilities. What’s more you are learning on the job. (I call Eli my petri dish child, because he is one whopper of an experiment!) Your hubby should give you grace as you make mistakes, ride the rollercoaster ride of hormones (whee!), and do all that you do the best you can.

Doesn’t he deserve the same measure of grace from you? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes!)

So, skip the tie this year. I doubt he even wants that really cool fishing tackle thingy you got him. Instead, make the choice to see the things he’s doing right as a dad instead of fixating on all the ways you wish he would be more. That might sound a little something like this, “Honey, you are a great dad. I am so glad we are parenting together. Our family is lucky to have you.”

In light of those kind words, I’d like to make a little prediction. The more you acknowledge the things your husband does right, the more likely he is to keep doing them. The more you focus on the ways he’s a great dad, the less likely you are to see the areas where he misses the mark. The result is a dance where you each do your best and become each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Sounds nice doesn’t it? But here’s the rub—it requires you to stop falling on your sword and fixating on the feeling that it’s all on you. It also requires you to do the hard work of parenting because it matters and it’s ministry and not to earn words of affirmation, positive strokes or atta girls from others (including your husband). It’s not an easy shift to make but it will make life easier on you, your husband and your kids. And that, my friend sounds like a winning ticket for a truly happy Father’s Day.

p.s. Since nothin’ says lovin’ like free stuff, I’ll gladly ship a free copy of “Choosing Gratitude” to two of you who will leave us a comment sharing what makes your husband a great dad.

p.p.s To see an interview with the aforementioned great dad and husband in my life, hop back on the blog on Wednesday where I will be interviewing him about what its like when your wife becomes a mommy.

Beyond Bath Time

Publication Date: April 1, 2012

Motherhood is under attack. Nearly one in five American women ends her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with one in ten in 1970. In 2007, among Christians, 47% felt that the roles of marriage and motherhood should not be emphasized for women. And unfortunately, the church isn’t talking about why motherhood matters, nor is it equipping young mothers to see their family as a mission field. Erin Davis was a young Christian wife who had made the decision to not have children. She had multiple degrees, a great husband, a promising career — she had it all — at least according to cultural standards. But most days she felt anything but fulfilled. In Beyond Bath Time Erin shares her journey to the place of true fulfillment in responding to the call of motherhood. Women will be challenged, convicted, and wonderfully encouraged by Erin’s honest and provocative look at motherhood and its divine call.

Read a Sample Chapter!