Category: True Woman

Women at home rocking tea-length dresses, frilly aprons, and adorable high heels, vacuuming with an Electrolux vacuum, while their 2.5 children play quietly nearby . . .

Is this the picture of perfect womanhood?

If you listen to the cultural debate on gender roles, you might think so. Too often, when we talk about womanhood, the discussion disintegrates into two sides trying to draw hard lines in the sand on issues like . . .

• Whether or not women should work outside the home.
• Who wears the proverbial pants at work, at church, and in the home?
• What is femininity, exactly?

The problem with drawing lines in the sand is that, inevitably, the tides turn and those lines get washed away. Just as soon as everyone seems to settle in to a new concept of womanhood, the culture shifts, and we are left to debate gender roles all over again.

Since sin slithered its way into a woman’s heart, womanhood God’s way has always been a struggle.

These are interesting times for sure. I believe that gender is the battlefield on which God’s Word is currently being challenged. I believe that when it comes to womanhood, the traditional will soon become radical and that womanhood according to God’s design is well on it’s way to being seen as an “alternative lifestyle choice.” I believe the reasons why I am not a feminist (you can read more about that in yesterday’s post) will continue to be tested and tried, stretched and debated in every public forum in the years to come.

None of that scares me, because this ain’t about throwbacks. It’s about choosing to look at God’s Word as the plumbline for who I am made to be.

True womanhood is not about returning to some ideological era where men went to work and women happily stayed home and did laundry while raising adorable, obedient children. Despite what your scrapbooks may tell you, that era never existed.

There has never been a golden age of womanhood. There’s never been a window of time when the culture all agreed on what womanhood should look like and living God’s way was fully accepted and en vogue.

Want proof? Check out the battle that raged in the heart of the first woman.

He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?'” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden,” but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die.” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And the sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths” (Gen. 3:1–7).

We see in Eve a woman who . . .

• desperately wanted independence
• ignored the authority God had placed over her
• wanted to call the shots
• forgot the promises of God
• twisted Scripture to fit her agenda
• flirted with sin and became entangled

Sound familiar?

Yesterday, I defined feminism this way:

• valuing independence over dependence
• resisting authority
• convincing women that their roles are undesirable or second class

When we look at Genesis 3, we see feminism wasn’t born in college classrooms or women’s liberation rallies. Feminism was born in the Garden of Eden. The lie that women are free to step outside of God’s plan for them without consequences was whispered into the very first woman’s ear. It has continued to be whispered ever since. The battle to live according to God’s design isn’t a modern one. It has been raging since the beginning.

So to be clear, I’m not passionate about a cultural return to the 1950s. Frankly, vacuuming in high heels has never been my thing! This isn’t about finding some spot on the map of history and saying, “Look there! That was a time when women got things right.” Since sin slithered its way into a woman’s heart, womanhood God’s way has always been a struggle.

While the message of true womanhood can get a little tangled amidst the cultural debate, it’s really quite simple.

• I believe that God created men and women, as equal but distinct image-bearers of God.
• I believe that since He is our Creator, He gets to decide how our gender is best displayed.
• I believe that He outlined the blueprint for womanhood and manhood in His Word.
• I believe that by seeking to be the woman He designed me to be, I am putting His glory on full display.

As you consider the culture war about gender and decide where you stand, can I encourage you not to run to some ideological age of history, but rather to run straight to God’s Word? I know what you’ll find—a description of your identity that is timeless and eternal (high heels optional!).

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read part one,”Why I’m Not a Feminist.”

Drop this word into a room full of women and you’re sure to ignite a firestorm . . .

Feminism.

On the surface level, feminism looks benign. If feminism is simply the advocacy for women’s rights based on the idea that we are equal to men, I’m a believer.

My gender theology comes from Genesis 1:27.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

From the very first book of the very first chapter of the Bible, we see that men and women were created equal by God, equally esteemed by God, and given the equal and complementary task of being image-bearers of God.

The Bible is clear, when it comes to our value to the Creator, men and women are equal.

But the message of feminism does not stop there. You may be wondering, Who cares? This isn’t a blog about historical social movements after all. Didn’t women leave their bra-burning ways back a couple of decades ago?

In truth, feminism is the radical idea that women are god, capable of being their own authorities.

Actually, no. The message of feminism is alive and well, and it is no longer relegated to liberal university classrooms and Washington D.C. As the granddaughter of a feminist, I am increasingly aware of the ways the message of feminism has trickled into my heart and mind. I’m not the only one. A new wave of feminism is swelling among my peers and the generation under us.

As Christian women, it’s wise for us to consider the message of feminism and squeeze it through the grid of God’s Word. I don’t have all of the answers, but I know this: Because of the Bible, I am not a feminist. Here’s why.

Feminism Values Independence over Dependence

I recently saw these promises on the cover of a popular teen magazine . . .

• Girl Power
• Live Your Dreams
• Score Total Independence
• Make Your Own $$
• Starting Now!!!”

While financial independence is a good thing, “total independence” is not God’s plan (especially for the thirteen through sixteen year olds this magazine targets). God does not intend for us to be renegades who live without the assistance and accountability that our families, friends, and churches offer. Even more than that, God wants us to depend on Him, not take the proverbial bull by the horns.

As a little girl in a post-feminist world, I was taught that being an independent woman was a dream come true. But can I be honest? It didn’t do me any good to be taught that independence was my highest good. That kind of thinking didn’t prepare me for marriage. It didn’t prepare me to be a contributing member of the Church. It didn’t prepare me to depend on the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5–6 says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Feminism asserts that it’s a woman’s right to do, be, feel whatever she wants, regardless of the input of others. Because of that . . .

Feminism Resists Authority

The Bible is clear that authority is for our good. Romans 13:1–7 insists that everyone (men and women) be subject to governing authorities because all authority is “approved by God” (v. 1). First Peter 2:13–25 urges us to be subject to every human institution. Why? “For the Lord’s sake” (v. 13). Hebrews 13:17 encourages us to obey our spiritual authorities with joy and without groaning. And finally, in a passage that has a tendency to really ruffle feminist feathers, Ephesians 5:22–23 urges wives to submit to the authority of their husbands.

When you study the totality of God’s Word, it’s clear that God commands us to honor and obey our authorities for our own good. No authority is beyond His reach. No one has more say in our lives than He does.

Ultimately, the way we respond to our human authorities is very likely to be how we respond to the authority of God. If we arch our backs and pump our fists at every person and institution that infringes on our perceived rights, we are likely to respond in kind to God when He calls us to surrender to Him.

One of the mantras of feminism is that “feminism is the radical idea that women are people.” In truth, feminism is the radical idea that women are god, capable of being their own authorities.

Feminism Denigrates the Roles of Wife and Mother

Famous feminist Gloria Steinem said, “A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.”

If sex outside of the covenant of marriage and work outside of the home are the trademarks of liberation, you can count me out.

Idol worship never meets our needs. Only God can do that.

While the headlining message of feminism has always been equal rights for men and women, a consistent, secondary message has been that women need more than being “just” wives and moms. This just doesn’t jive with the truth that God highly values the roles of wife and mother.

I could shout from this soapbox all day, but I think this point is best made with just two passages of Scripture.

In Ephesians 5:32 Paul is describing marriage when he says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Marriage is a picture of Christ’s love for His bride. As wives, we are putting the mystery of the gospel on display. That picture is cheapened when we devalue marriage.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

Children are a blessing, not a burden. Motherhood is sacred, not old fashioned or out of date.

Feminism Doesn’t Work

As a young woman with a shallow understanding of God’s Word and a steady drip of feminist ideals into my heart, I didn’t know it, but I was a feminist. I believed I was the captain of my own destiny, that the path to fulfillment was through a killer career, and that men were best avoided or controlled. But you know what? It didn’t work.

Independence left me lonely.
Success left me addicted.
My new marriage was stretched and strained.

Ultimately, the promises of feminism just didn’t hold true. It is a belief set that ultimately promotes self to the point of idolatry. Idol worship never meets our needs. Only God can do that.

There are lots of causes I’d gladly march in support of, but feminism just isn’t one of them. God’s blueprint is what’s best for me as a woman. The message of feminism is a cheap substitute.

Mind hopping back on the blog tomorrow so we can continue this conversation with my follow-up post, “This Ain’t About Throwbacks?”

Until then, I’d love to hear from you. How has the message of feminism impacted you? How do you think it holds up to the magnifying glass of God’s Word?

Read part two, “This Ain’t About Throwbacks.”

I’ve been to eight women’s conferences in the last three months. I’ve got the t-shirts to prove it. As a Bible teacher, I have the privilege of attending lots of these events to speak. I meet beautiful women with hearts full to the brim with a desire to serve Jesus at every single one. But can I be honest? I’m a little sick of women’s conferences.

Tired of the Message

It’s not that I’m tired of being with other women. (I’m a mom of three boys, I’ll take all of the estrogen I can get!)

I’m not sure I could ever grow weary worshiping in a sanctuary full of women.
I love to hear the testimonies of how God has worked in the lives of others.
And usually, the food’s great too!

But there’s a message I hear at most women’s conferences (and young women’s conferences) that needs revisited. I heard it spoken from almost every stage I sat near this spring.

It sounds something like this . . .

You’re beautiful.
You’re valuable.
You matter.

What’s my beef with a message that warm and fuzzy? It’s a good message. But it’s not the message that women most need to hear.

The Message We Really Need

I understand how we got here. We live in a culture that pillages women’s self-esteem by screaming at us that we must be thinner, tanner, and more organized. It’s hard to stand tall when the pressures of our culture force our collective shoulders to sag and our heads to drop. And a woman who does not understand her value is guaranteed to cause some collateral damage in her relationships. Yes, women need to be told they matter.

We don’t need messages that turn our focus toward ourselves. We need messages that pry our eyes away from our needs, our wants, our desires . . . and toward Jesus and His calling that we serve others.

But we don’t matter because we’re beautiful. We don’t matter because we have what it takes. It’s not our self-esteem that needs attended to. It’s our spirits.

We need to be reminded that Jesus is the source of Living Water. The headwaters of everything we need are found in Him.

Instead of hearing that we matter, we need to hear how much the God of the Universe matters. We are small and insignificant compared to his vast glory. We need to hear that He treasures us anyway (Mal. 3:17).

Instead of hearing that we are beautiful, we need to be reminded that God’s Word is beautiful. It is a treasure trove full of riches beyond measure. If we study it and apply it, we can have “imperishable beauty” (1 Pet. 3:4). The fountain of youth is only found in God’s Word.

Instead of hearing that we have what it takes to make it in this world, we need to be reminded that we are poor (Ps. 86:1), needy (Ps. 109:22), and sinful (Eccl. 7:20). The message we need to hear over and over is the life-giving Gospel, that Christ died to set us free from sin and death; that because of His sacrifice we can have victory. We cannot do it without Him, but through Him and because of Him we can do all things (Phil. 4:13).

When we allow women to walk out of our conferences and churches feeling better about themselves but less dependent on Christ, we are doing them a disservice. Women don’t need fluff. We need the meaty Truth of the Gospel straight from the Word of God. We don’t need messages that turn our focus toward ourselves. We need messages that pry our eyes away from our needs, our wants, our desires . . . and toward Jesus and His calling that we serve others.

Simply put, the message that every woman needs is the Gospel. Without it, we are just spinning our wheels.

How about you? Will you join me in pointing women toward messages that matter?

Psst . . . If you’re tired of the fluff, I’d love for you to join me at True Woman ’14. This will be my fourth time to attend a True Woman conference. I can’t get enough, because it’s a woman’s event that points women to Jesus and His Word. I never walk away full of myself, but always leave full of Truth straight from God’s Word.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Who Am I? The Good, the Bad, and the Gospel.”

We don’t want to cut back on ministry outreaches in the year ahead, so we’re asking the Lord to provide at least $435,000 by the end of this month. Will you help?

Two of my three sons have bad kidneys. That means that since my first ultrasound for my very first baby, we have carried the burden of knowing there is something inside our children’s bodies we cannot fix.

On good days you will hear me talk about how I know this was filtered through the fingers of a loving God. I’ll talk about prayer and faith and peace. I mean those things. I really do. I’m not just blowing smoke or trying to talk myself into something.

But there are bad days.

If karma existed, the sovereignty of God could not.

A really bad day came along several months ago. Judah, my third born son and second child with damaged kidneys, was just four weeks old. We were scheduled for an invasive test with a specialist. That morning I woke up feeling like a boulder had been tied around my chest. The weight of my fear was so heavy.

In the midst of the dread, and worry, and anxiety, this thought slithered its way into my heart . . .

“It’s because I’m a bad mom.”

I had done something to cause this. I was certain of it. More specifically, I had done something to deserve it. This was my punishment for all of those times I lost my cool. God blocked my baby’s kidneys because He was mad at me.

In other words, on some level . . .

I (kind of) believe in karma.

Karma is a spiritual principle that our actions create a force that will

determine what happens to us. If we are good, good things happen. If we are bad, bad things happen. Buddhists believe that wholesome actions lead to happiness, and unwholesome actions lead to suffering. Hindus believe that how we act in this life will determine if we come back as a dung beetle or a rich ruler in the next.

But I’m a Christian. I believe that God is sovereign (Ps. 103:15–19); that every word of the Lord proves true (Prov. 30:5), and that He loves me, even when it doesn’t feel like it (Jer. 31:3). I believe my eternity is secured by the blood of Jesus, not my ability to tow the line (Heb. 10:19).

Thank goodness that karma is hogwash. Because nothing we do can scrub our hearts clean. Only Jesus can do that.

If karma existed, the sovereignty of God could not. How could God be in charge of all things, and I have the power to change my trajectory with every good and bad decision? If karma is real, the promises of God are not. Romans 8:31–39 promises that God is for me. That’s not the same as waiting to punish me every time I mess up.

And here’s the nail in karma’s coffin . . .

If karma is real, it makes the gospel null and void.

If karma exists, Christ would never have died for me. I certainly don’t deserve such ridiculous grace. My actions have not earned it. In fact, karma earned me a reservation in hell. I’ve done plenty of “unwholesome actions.” I deserve suffering. But Christ suffered in my place.

You know, our twisted sense of karma can work the other way, too? Karma tells us that we deserve God’s favor because we’ve been so good. We deserve for things to go smoothly in our lives because we read our Bibles, go to church, and cuss less than the people on TV. While some days I feel like I deserve to suffer because of the mistakes I make as a mom, there are other days when my heart screams, “Why did this have to happen to my children? Don’t you see all that I’ve done for you! I don’t deserve this.”

But God’s Word says no one is good (Ps. 53:3) and that compared to the blinding white holiness of God, my righteous deeds are nothing more than dirty rags (Isa. 64:6).

Thank goodness that karma is hogwash. Because nothing we do can scrub our hearts clean. Only Jesus can do that.

On bad days, I kind of believe in karma. But just because I believe it, doesn’t mean it’s true (Prov. 14:12).

What did I do on the day fear screamed that I earned my suffering?

I called a wise, older woman who was able to pray with me and preach God’s truth to my hurting heart.

“God loves you,” she said. “He will carry you through this.”

Her words provided enough clarity for me to know where to run next. I dropped my bucket down once again into the deep well of God’s Word. No karma there. Just life-saving, heart-healing, fear-lifting, path-straightening truth.

Truth like . . .

Jesus died for me. He died for my sons. He has faithfully carried us through every test and procedure. Not because we deserve it, or have earned it, but because He loves us. I don’t believe He’d turn His back on me in any operating room even on my worst parenting day.

Because karma isn’t real. God and the gospel are.

Do you (kind of) believe in karma? Here are three questions to help uproot that lie in your heart.

• When suffering comes, do I suspect God is punishing me?
• Do I feel like I deserve a comfortable life because I am a good Christian?
• Do I grasp that it is the gospel that saves me, not my good works?

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Asking Why.”

It was a very dark day for one momma.

Her only son was dead. She had already buried his daddy. Her heart was broken. Her family was gone. She was destitute.

Luke tells the story this way,

Soon afterward he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a great crowd went with him. As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her.

And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother (Luke 7:13–15).

If you raced through that passage, (we’ve all become speed readers haven’t we?) would you mind going back and reading it again? Place yourself in the story. What jumps off the page at you?

Jesus defines compassion as love in action.

I recently found myself parked on this story for several days while preparing to teach “Beautiful Encounters,” a radio series launching on Revive Our Hearts today. As a mother of sons, I can’t fathom attending one of their funerals, especially as a widow. This momma’s desperation seemed to leak out of my Bible and into my heart as I read.

But so did this little gem . . .

“And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”

Jesus gave him to his mother.

He didn’t have to. He could have commanded him to walk. After all, that’s what he did for Lazarus. Instead, he gives the boy back to his momma. Because in that huge crowd of people, she was the one who needed him most.

When the widow of Nain encountered Jesus she really had a collision with compassion. When we look at her story, we can see that Jesus defines compassion as love in action.

She’s not the only one, you know?

Psalm 56:8 says, “You have kept count of my tossings, put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”

God sees our tears and is moved with compassion by our pain. I love the image that He collects them all in a bottle.

Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Maybe He is collecting all of our tears in a bottle so that one day we can watch Him dump that bottle out? In any case, he sees our pain, and He has a plan to set things right.

That’s why I’m thrilled to have the chance to tell the story of the widow of Nain. Because it’s really a story about a compassionate Savior.

Just like . . .

• Anna’s story is really an encounter with Divinity.
• The story of the adulterous woman is really a run-in with Grace.
• Mary and Martha’s story is really about true friendship.
• The Samaritan woman’s story is a chance to sip Living Water.
• The story of Jarius’ daughter is about power.
• And Mary Magdalene’s story changes everything.

These are the stories I’ll be telling all week on the broadcast. I hope you’ll make plans to listen in and have an encounter of your own with Jesus, the God who loves to put His love in action toward you!

I’d love for you to listen in. Leave me a comment below telling me how you’ll catch the series (local Christian radio, podcast, online). I’ll choose five of you to win a free copy of the Bible study version so that you can dig into these stories on your own.

Praying you have an encounter with Jesus of your own along the way!

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Immanuel Changes Everything.”

Come worship Christ and learn how to live in His fullness with thousands of your sisters at True Woman ’14 in Indianapolis on October 9–11. Only 23 days left for early registration.

Yesterday, I wrote about the character of God in His own words. I was blown away by what I found in the Bible when I decided to study every place that God says “I am . . .” You can check out that post here.

I can’t change my own heart and mold myself into Christ’s image.

Certainly, the qualities of God are vast and impressive, but they become even more so when we get serious about who we really are.

Who are you?

It’s a simple question that almost always has a complex answer. If I asked you, “Who are you?” I bet you’d start with the good stuff (we all do). You might tell me about your beautiful family or your great job or all the ways you volunteer in your church or community. We like to polish our identity up to a high shine, but that’s not the whole story is it?

David has a way of writing with a brand of brutal honesty that I am drawn to in the Psalms. He finishes the sentence I am . . . in a way that checks my spirit. Here’s what he wrote.

I am . . . fleeting (Ps. 39:4).

I am . . . poor and needy (Ps. 86:1; 109:22).

I am . . . languishing (Ps. 6:2).

I am . . . lonely and afflicted (Ps. 25:16).

I am . . . afraid (Ps. 56:3).

I am . . . afflicted and in pain (Ps. 69:29).

I am . . . helpless (Ps. 88:15).

Are you ready for a confession? I am all of those things, too. As important as my life seems to me, the Bible describes it like a vapor (James 4:14). That’s what David meant when he called himself “fleeting.” I often find myself needy, lonely, afraid, and in pain, just like David did. I am helpless in the face of most of the problems I face. I can’t change my own heart, mold myself into Christ’s image, or keep all that scares me at bay.

While the news about who we are at our core is bad, the news about who God is couldn’t get any better.

And that’s not the worst of it. In Psalm 51, David described a personal attribute that I like to gloss over.

I am a sinner.

Paul answered the “I am . . .” question by describing himself as the foremost of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). Some days it feels like I’m giving him a run for his money.

When we line the reality of who we are with the beauty of who God is, our heart can choose from one of two options.

1. We can wilt under the weight of our failings, and settle in with the feeling that we will never measure up.
2. We can let the beauty of the gospel—that a God so big and powerful and good would extend grace and love toward us despite the fact that we are so desperately undeserving—make up for our slack. We can spend our days in gratitude instead of defeat because God is big, and we are small, and He loves us anyway.

From time to time it does us good to peel back the good stuff of who we are and smell the gunk underneath. But don’t dwell there. While the news about who we are at our core is bad, the news about who God is couldn’t get any better.

In light of what God’s done for you, how would you finish the sentence I am . . .? Leave us a comment below. I’ll choose one of you to win the Gospel Transformation ESV Study Bible.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read part one, “Who Are You, God?“

Come worship Christ and learn how to live in His fullness with thousands of your sisters at True Woman ’14 in Indianapolis on October 9–11. Only 24 days left for early registration.

Take off your sandals (or boots as may be the case this cold, rainy spring). Imagine yourself on the holy ground Moses once found himself standing on.

We learn the names of God best when we see for ourselves who He is, not when we simply hear about Him.

He had just heard the voice of God come from a burning bush. God called Moses to go to Egypt and demand that Pharaoh release God’s people from slavery. Moses wrestles with the idea of such a monumental task and finally asks, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” (Ex. 3:13).

Before Moses goes to the most powerful man in the world, he wants to know the name of the God who sends him. Seems reasonable to me.

God answers Moses’ question this way, “I AM WHO I AM” (Ex. 3:14).

Then, He repeats Himself, but doesn’t offer Moses much clarity.

“And he said, ‘Say this to the people of Israel, I AM has sent me to you'” (Ex. 3:14).

There isn’t an English teacher in the world that wouldn’t mark all over that sentence with her red pen.

Imagine the same sentence in a different context. You are introduced to a new visitor at church. You say, “Hi, my name is Erin. What’s your name?”

“I am . . . ” is their reply.

I am who? I am what? Simply leaving it at “I am” seems like bad grammar and bad manners.

But that’s what God said when Moses asked His name.

“I AM WHO I AM.”
“I AM has sent me.”

Don’t you imagine that Moses was perched on the very edge of his seat? Waiting for more information. He knew he would be pressed by Pharaoh and by the people he was called to free for more information. I am who? I am what? But “I AM” seemed to be all the information God was going to give at that moment.

Fortunately for all of us, it’s not all He ever said on the subject.

Timothy Keller recently tweeted, “God doesn’t tell Moses, ‘Tell them, I am what you want.’ He says tell them, ‘I AM what I AM.”

That quote stuck with me for days. So much so that I decided to do some digging into this “I AM” business. When God says, “I AM” what does He mean? Why does He leave his identity so mysterious?

I decided to look in my Bible for every place where God says “I AM.” Before I show you what I found, I want to warn you that it’s a long and impressive list. If you’re like me, you have a tendency to gloss over information when it comes to you in bulk, but let me encourage you to take your time. Read and re-read. Think about all the things God says about himself with the simple introduction, “I AM.”

I AM . . . your shield (Gen. 15:1-3).
I AM . . . God Almighty (Gen. 17:1, 35:11).

I AM . . . compassionate (Ex. 22:27).
I AM . . . holy (Lev. 11:44).
I AM . . . your portion and your inheritance (Num. 18:20).

I AM . . . your salvation (Ps. 35:3).
I AM . . . with you (Isa. 41:10, 43:5, Jer. 1:19,15:20, Hag. 1:13, 2:4, Matt. 28:20).
I AM . . . the Lord, besides me there is no salvation (Isa. 43:11).

I AM . . . the first and the last (Isa. 44:6, Rev. 1:17).

I AM . . . he who comforts (Isa. 5:12).

I AM . . . merciful (Jer. 3:12).
I AM . . . a father (Jer. 31:9).

I AM . . . their inheritance (Ezek. 44:28).

I AM . . . gentle and lowly of heart (Matt. 11:29).

I AM . . . the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob (Matt. 22:32).

I AM . . . the Christ (Mark 14:61-63).

I AM . . . the bread of life (John 6:48).
I AM . . . the light of the world (John 8:12).

I AM . . . not of this world (John 8:24).
I AM . . . the Good Shepherd (John 10:1).
I AM . . . the door (John 10:9).
I AM . . . the son of God (John 10:36).
I AM . . . the resurrection and the life (John 11:25).
I AM . . . teacher and lord (John 13:13).
I AM . . . the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:1).
I AM . . . the true vine (John 15:1).
I AM . . . the Alpha and Omega (Rev. 1:8).
I AM . . . alive forevermore (Rev. 1:18).
I AM . . . coming soon (Rev. 3:11).

I AM . . . the bright morning star (Rev. 22:16).

I AM . . . the LORD your God (this one is stated so many times throughout the Bible that I lost count).

I told you it was an impressive list. So why didn’t God just dictate it to Moses from that burning bush so that Moses could pass it along to Pharaoh? Why leave the dots unconnected?

Because we learn the names of God best when we see for ourselves who He is, not when we simply hear about Him.

The answer to Moses’ question, “What is his name?” would be given to Pharaoh soon enough. The purpose of the plagues God sent upon Egypt was to put the power and character of God on full display.

Sooner or later, we all mumble Moses’ question under our breath, “Who are you, God?” We follow it up with “How will you prove who you are in my life?” We’ve got the benefit of a hard copy of His answer in the Word. From Genesis to Revelation the Lord speaks often of who He is. But the proof is also in the pudding, isn’t it? If you will take a minute to reflect on your own life you will see that His descriptions of Himself are spot on. I know He’s been everything on that list in my own life (compassionate, salvation, merciful . . . )

Who has He been in yours?

P.S. Who God is becomes even more powerful when we look at who we really are. Be sure to come back tomorrow for a follow up post on that.

Learn more about Jesus, the I AM, as Nancy teaches through the series, “The Wonder of His Name.”

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Who Is Jesus to You?“

Come worship Christ and learn how to live in His fullness with thousands of your sisters at True Woman ’14 in Indianapolis on October 9–11. Only 24 days left for early registration.

Take off your sandals (or boots as may be the case this cold, rainy spring). Imagine yourself on the holy ground Moses once found himself standing on.

We learn the names of God best when we see for ourselves who He is, not when we simply hear about Him.

He had just heard the voice of God come from a burning bush. God called Moses to go to Egypt and demand that Pharaoh release God’s people from slavery. Moses wrestles with the idea of such a monumental task and finally asks, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” (Ex. 3:13).

Before Moses goes to the most powerful man in the world, he wants to know the name of the God who sends him. Seems reasonable to me.

God answers Moses’ question this way, “I AM WHO I AM” (Ex. 3:14).

Then, He repeats Himself, but doesn’t offer Moses much clarity.

“And he said, ‘Say this to the people of Israel, I AM has sent me to you'” (Ex. 3:14).

There isn’t an English teacher in the world that wouldn’t mark all over that sentence with her red pen.

Imagine the same sentence in a different context. You are introduced to a new visitor at church. You say, “Hi, my name is Erin. What’s your name?”

“I am . . . ” is their reply.

I am who? I am what? Simply leaving it at “I am” seems like bad grammar and bad manners.

But that’s what God said when Moses asked His name.

“I AM WHO I AM.”
“I AM has sent me.”

Don’t you imagine that Moses was perched on the very edge of his seat? Waiting for more information. He knew he would be pressed by Pharaoh and by the people he was called to free for more information. I am who? I am what? But “I AM” seemed to be all the information God was going to give at that moment.

Fortunately for all of us, it’s not all He ever said on the subject.

Timothy Keller recently tweeted, “God doesn’t tell Moses, ‘Tell them, I am what you want.’ He says tell them, ‘I AM what I AM.”

That quote stuck with me for days. So much so that I decided to do some digging into this “I AM” business. When God says, “I AM” what does He mean? Why does He leave his identity so mysterious?

I decided to look in my Bible for every place where God says “I AM.” Before I show you what I found, I want to warn you that it’s a long and impressive list. If you’re like me, you have a tendency to gloss over information when it comes to you in bulk, but let me encourage you to take your time. Read and re-read. Think about all the things God says about himself with the simple introduction, “I AM.”

I AM . . . your shield (Gen. 15:1-3).
I AM . . . God Almighty (Gen. 17:1, 35:11).

I AM . . . compassionate (Ex. 22:27).
I AM . . . holy (Lev. 11:44).
I AM . . . your portion and your inheritance (Num. 18:20).

I AM . . . your salvation (Ps. 35:3).
I AM . . . with you (Isa. 41:10, 43:5, Jer. 1:19,15:20, Hag. 1:13, 2:4, Matt. 28:20).
I AM . . . the Lord, besides me there is no salvation (Isa. 43:11).

I AM . . . the first and the last (Isa. 44:6, Rev. 1:17).

I AM . . . he who comforts (Isa. 5:12).

I AM . . . merciful (Jer. 3:12).
I AM . . . a father (Jer. 31:9).

I AM . . . their inheritance (Ezek. 44:28).

I AM . . . gentle and lowly of heart (Matt. 11:29).

I AM . . . the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob (Matt. 22:32).

I AM . . . the Christ (Mark 14:61-63).

I AM . . . the bread of life (John 6:48).
I AM . . . the light of the world (John 8:12).

I AM . . . not of this world (John 8:24).
I AM . . . the Good Shepherd (John 10:1).
I AM . . . the door (John 10:9).
I AM . . . the son of God (John 10:36).
I AM . . . the resurrection and the life (John 11:25).
I AM . . . teacher and lord (John 13:13).
I AM . . . the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:1).
I AM . . . the true vine (John 15:1).
I AM . . . the Alpha and Omega (Rev. 1:8).
I AM . . . alive forevermore (Rev. 1:18).
I AM . . . coming soon (Rev. 3:11).

I AM . . . the bright morning star (Rev. 22:16).

I AM . . . the LORD your God (this one is stated so many times throughout the Bible that I lost count).

I told you it was an impressive list. So why didn’t God just dictate it to Moses from that burning bush so that Moses could pass it along to Pharaoh? Why leave the dots unconnected?

Because we learn the names of God best when we see for ourselves who He is, not when we simply hear about Him.

The answer to Moses’ question, “What is his name?” would be given to Pharaoh soon enough. The purpose of the plagues God sent upon Egypt was to put the power and character of God on full display.

Sooner or later, we all mumble Moses’ question under our breath, “Who are you, God?” We follow it up with “How will you prove who you are in my life?” We’ve got the benefit of a hard copy of His answer in the Word. From Genesis to Revelation the Lord speaks often of who He is. But the proof is also in the pudding, isn’t it? If you will take a minute to reflect on your own life you will see that His descriptions of Himself are spot on. I know He’s been everything on that list in my own life (compassionate, salvation, merciful . . . )

Who has He been in yours?

P.S. Who God is becomes even more powerful when we look at who we really are. Be sure to come back tomorrow for a follow up post on that.

Learn more about Jesus, the I AM, as Nancy teaches through the series, “The Wonder of His Name.”

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Who Is Jesus to You?“

Last month, I stumbled upon a raw nerve. My post, “Why I’m Not the Room Mom” ignited a response I did not anticipate. Some of you responded that you were encouraged by the post to draw healthy boundaries with your time and family. Hooray! That was my intention.

Some of you were offended. You thought I came across as self-righteous and condemning toward moms who made choices different than my own.

It is easy to find ourselves so busy with good things that we end up robbed of the energy and bandwidth to teach our children about the “one” thing, which is Jesus.

If you fall into that second camp, let me take a moment here to fall on my sword. I admit that my lines (not being a room mom, sending store bought Valentines etc.) may not be your lines. There is no biblical mandate to structure your time and commitments the same way I do.

Any scent of self-righteousness you may have picked up on was unintentional. I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t have this mom thing all figured out. But I know that we often judge ourselves on intentions while others judge us on actions. While I was hoping to use my choices, my inadequacies, my insecurities, and my struggles as an example to spur a bigger conversation about being moms with kingdom priorities, I can see that some of you thought I was talking about absolutes. For that, I’m sorry.

Also, I’m afraid I painted a caricature of myself that wasn’t entirely accurate. I actually love to cook and craft with my kids. I’m also grateful to those who volunteer as positive examples in their lives. I’d like to go on record as saying I am pro-crafts, pro-family time, pro-volunteering, and even pro-Pinterest. But those are some areas where I have needed to cut back in order to stay sane and focused as a mom.

With that being said, I’m glad this can of worms has been opened. As we keep the conversation going, here’s what’s on my heart.

Biblical families are counter-cultural.

God’s Word is a square peg in this round world. It will never fit with what the culture says is best for us or our families. There are so many options and activities available to us at any given point it’s easy to fill our family schedules to the point that they bulge at the seams. I have made many mistakes in this area. I have seen the corrosive effect that busyness has had on my own family and the families of other believers I know. Being too busy doing too many things, tends to eat away at the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. With that in mind, let me reiterate the big idea of my first post.

As moms, we can do it all, but we can’t do it all well.

It is easy to find ourselves so busy with good things that we end up robbed of the energy and bandwidth to teach our children about the “one” thing, which is Jesus. I know we can use plenty of these good things to teach our kids about Jesus, but we must reject the lie of our culture that says, “To be a good mom, you have to do it all.”

This is hard for me! I need to constantly evaluate and recalibrate. I am deeply challenged by Jesus’ words to Martha, a Type A, do-it-all girl like myself . . .

“But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41–42).

Because living this way is counter-cultural . . .

Moms need each other.

If I’m being honest, going viral felt like a bad case of the flu. While some readers expressed concern in loving and constructive ways, many hit below the belt. Calling into question my own commitment to the Lord and devotion to my children.

I see this as just another skirmish in the “mommy wars.” Whether it’s fighting over breastfeeding or formula, organic or processed food, homeschooling or public schooling, we moms can be rough on each other. But when it comes to the mommy wars, I waved my white flag long ago. That’s because nobody wins at the comparison game, and this journey is so tough, I simply cannot do it alone.

If we are going to raise up the next generation to love Jesus, it will only be arm in arm, not head to head.

A story the Lord has used powerfully to challenge me as I mother is one found in the Book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah was a trusted official under the Persian King Artaxerxes. He was also an Israelite who asked the king to let him gather his people to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. The king agreed, so people gathered and the building began. When the enemies of Israel pushed back against the project, pay close attention to how the Israelites defended themselves:

“‘Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, and your daughters, your wives and your homes.’

When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each to his own work.” (Neh. 4:13–15).

Because the Israelites were fighting for their families, they were brave enough to stare down their enemies. And because they were fighting with their families, they were strong enough to win.

What if, instead they spent their time comparing, surveying each other’s section of wall and either criticizing that they wouldn’t do it that way or feeling inadequate? The mission would be compromised. The victory would be lost.

If we are going to fight for our families in a culture that is willing to battle for our children’s hearts and fight with our families for God’s truth, we’ve got to stick together.

I’ll go first.

Dear room mom, non-room mom, crafty gal, hot mess, Martha Stewart, burns her dinner every time, homeschool mom, public school mom, private school mom, mom of many, mom of few, got-it-all-together mom, can’t-find-her-car-keys mom, scrapbook mom, doesn’t-own-a-camera mom, hippie mom, organized mom, disheveled mom, funny mom, serious mom, and every mom in between,

If you are living your life for Christ, committed to pointing your children toward Him and His truth, and willing to swim upstream to find His best for your family . . .

I stand and applaud you.

Your biggest fan,

Erin Davis (a mom especially thankful for God’s grace).

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “Why I’m Not the Room Mom.”

Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Our blood sugar has spiked from all of that chocolate and some of us never received what we were actually craving—someone else’s love.

I’d like to propose a radical change. Instead of labeling February 14th, Valentine’s Day next year, I think we should rebrand it “Craving Day.” The entire holiday is engineered to cause us to crave: chocolate, love, passion, romance, intimacy, and fancy, steak dinners eaten under candlelight.

We were made to crave love and that God is uniquely able to meet that need.

As a married women, if I’m not diligent, I can sift through a bowl of candy message hearts . . . “love you,” “kiss me,” “ask me,” “dear one” and find myself longing for a marriage that is as sugary sweet as the candy itself. For the single women in my world, the craving sometimes seems to be even more intense. The young women on True Woman’s sister blog, LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com, have told me that while they seek God’s will for their romantic lives and wait for His timing, they sometimes struggle to find purpose in the single years. If you find yourself floating in that boat, Craving Day may have you feeling like an afterthought.

With that in mind, I wanted to pass along these commitments from a great resource from Nancy titled, Singled Out For Him: Embracing the Blessings, and the Challenges of Singleness. They are worthy resolutions for women in all stations of life to consider as we seek to crave God’s best for us.

1. I am committed to receiving my marital status as a gift from God.

Contentment is a choice. True joy is not the result of having everything I want but of gratefully receiving exactly what God has given me.

“Each one has his own gift from God, one in this matter and another in that” (1 Cor. 7:7).

The Scripture teaches that both marriage and singleness, like children, are gifts from God. To some, He gives the gift of marriage; to others, He gives the gift of singleness. Either way, we are to receive our marital status as a gift. This gift does not come from some distant relative who has no idea what we really need; it comes from a gracious God who loves us and gives the very best gifts to any of His children who leave the choice with Him.

2. 
   I am committed to serving Christ with all my time, abilities, and energy.

“But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. . . . And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction” (1 Cor. 7:32–35).

If you are single, this is not a time in limbo, waiting for the right partner to come along so we can get on with our lives. Those years of singleness provide an incredible and unique opportunity to be devoted to Christ and His kingdom in a way that married men and women simply do not have the freedom to pursue.

3. 
   I am committed to relinquishing all my expectations of material, physical, and emotional security.

“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna . . . to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD” (Deut. 8:3).

All of us long for security and a certain level of creature comforts. Sometimes God is pleased to provide far more than we actually need. But sometimes He allows us to “do without”—to experience unfulfilled longings—so that we might come to recognize our need for Him. The sin is not in having the longings but in demanding that our longings be met here and now. Not until we are united with the Lord Jesus in heaven will all our longings be fulfilled and all the empty spaces of our hearts be filled.

4. 
   I am committed to developing personal discipline.

   “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11).

   Not only is physical discipline important, but spiritual discipline is vital. Godliness, spiritual maturity, and intimacy with God do not just “happen.” They are the fruit of conscious, disciplined choices and habits. Paul told Timothy to “exercise yourself toward godliness” (1 Tim. 4:7). Spiritual disciplines such as worship, praise, Bible study, prayer, Scripture memorization, and fasting can help develop a vital, rich relationship with God, resulting in godly character and a fruitful life.

5. 
   I am committed to being morally pure.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8).

Lack of moral discipline is one of the greatest disqualifiers of those who run the Christian race. On the other hand, a commitment to moral purity is essential to experiencing the fullness of blessing that God intends for us. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8). The apostle Paul makes it clear that the will of God for every believer is that we be morally pure, that we abstain from every form of immorality (1 Thess. 4:3).

Married or single, if we let it, Craving Day can serve as an annual reminder that we were made to crave love and that God is uniquely able to meet that need. God is love, in fact. He is loving to the core. You are loved by Christ and empowered by Him to live out these commitments.

Has Valentine’s Day caused you to crave more in the area of romance? How has God used these commitments to recalibrate your heart?
Leave me a comment below with your thoughts. I’ll choose three of you to win a free copy of Nancy’s resource, Singled Out For Him: Embracing the Blessings, and the Challenges of Singleness.

P.S. For five more commitments from this resource, hop on over to LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com and check out my follow-up post.

If you enjoyed this post, you may wish to read “Unfulfilled Longings.”

I send store-bought valentines to my son’s school.

There. I said it.

I don’t stencil names onto fancy pieces of cardboard. I don’t hot glue the perfect candy heart message onto cardstock. I don’t bake heart-shaped cookies from scratch. I don’t help my boy cut and glitter his own valentines out of red and pink construction paper. We buy a box of valentines and stick them in the envelopes. Last year, we left the envelopes blank because we ran out of time to print the other kids’ names on them.

The primary goal of our marriages, our homes, and our families should not be to impress the watching world. It is to honor God.

It’s not that I’m a slacker mom, exactly. It’s just that the Lord reminds me often about what does and does not really matter as I mother. Essentially, anything I can find on Pinterest falls into the “doesn’t matter much” category. Anything that requires the work of my heart and the selfless service of my hands tends to hang out in the “matters a great deal” side of the ledger.

It’s the precise reason I’m not the room mom for my son’s school. It’s why I don’t volunteer to be an assistant basketball, cheerleading, soccer . . . coach. It’s why birthday parties around here consist of a favorite meal and a boxed cake.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually love to craft and bake and volunteer. It would tickle my heart pink to throw fantastic themed parties, earn a few bragging rights with other parents by sending something creative with my child to school, or to catch some more quality time with my boys by coaching something they’re interested in, but I’ve had to come face to face with a foundational truth about motherhood:

I can do it all, but I can’t do it all well.

I often have to rehearse these words in the mirror . . .

“No.”

“No, thank you.”

“No. I’m sorry. My schedule is full.”

Can I be honest? Sometimes I’m embarrassed by these lines I’ve drawn in the sand. For example, last week, my son Eli was supposed to bring something that started with the letter “P” to preschool. I threw a piggy bank in his backpack as we rushed out the door. Another mom came to school bringing pizza for everyone. When I found out I had a moment of panic, wishing I was able to drop everything to deliver pizza to a class of hungry and excited preschoolers.

But then I am reminded . . .

Motherhood is not a spectator sport.

Neither is any other side of womanhood. The primary goal of our marriages, our homes, and our families should not be to impress the watching world. The goal should be to honor God.

In a world of Facebook likes and Twitter retweets, it is so hard to remember the wisdom found in Colossians 3:17.

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

God is more honored by children growing in righteousness than 1,000 homemade valentines. God is more honored by a marriage focused on His glory than any touched-up family photos we put on Facebook. God is more honored by a woman who makes wise choices with her time than by a momma stretched so thin she has no time to seek Him.

So bring on the store-bought valentines and the boxed cakes. Join me in asking the Lord to shift your focus away from the expectations of others and toward a family obsessed with His glory.

Jesus, help us to be women who live our lives for you. Deliver us from the temptation to measure our worth by what others think. Teach us to build families that point others toward your gospel.

If you enjoyed this post, you may want to read “When God Rewrites Your Job Description.”

I’ve got a secret that can keep rivers of tears from being shed in 2014. It can stop angry outbursts in their tracks. It can put an end to stewing, sniveling, and navel-gazing. It is a secret that can insulate you from so much in the year ahead.

Are you ready for it?

It’s not about you.

The purpose of my life (and yours!) is not personal comfort or happiness.

I know you were probably hoping for something that sounded more like a Hallmark card. I feel the same way. I love ideas that give me warm fuzzies, but most of the time the stuff that makes me feel good simply strokes my ever-craving ego. I may crave applause, but the Truth is, a life lived like I’m the center of the universe ultimately misses God’s mark. I’ve been a Christian long enough to learn that my focus should not be on myself, but I need daily, hourly, minute-by-minute reminders that I am not the axis upon which all things rotate. The world wasn’t designed to revolve around me.

The purpose of my life (and yours!) is not personal comfort or happiness. Our actions should not be motivated by the applause of others. We were not created to steal the limelight for ourselves.

God’s Word provides bedrock truth we can come back to over and over when seeking to define our purpose.

As one of billions of people on one planet in one solar system in one of many galaxies, we naturally search for significance. Self-help books tell us to find the answer within ourselves, but those books miss something huge. The current culture tells us we matter if we get “likes,” “followers,” and “re-tweets,” but ultimately that’s a leaky well, too.

God’s Word provides bedrock truth we can come back to over and over when seeking to define our purpose.

Isaiah 43:7 describes the people of God and says, “Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

Read that passage backward. You were made and formed by God. Why? For His glory.

This point was powerfully hit home for me several years ago as I studied Revelation 4:2-11. (It’s a long passage, but don’t race through it! It’s worth the time investment).

“At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal . . .

And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

‘Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.’”

Only God is worthy to receive glory, and honor, and power. He created all things, after all. By His will all things exist.

As I peek into the throne room in this passage these questions bubble up in my heart:
Erin, where are you discussed in this passage?

• Where is your throne?
• Where is your crown?
• Who is worshiping you?

I’m not even in the throne room! I’m not the center of attention. Yes, I am an adopted daughter of the king, but God is the one who is really on the throne.

When I forget this truth, anything that threatens my personal happiness will cause me to bristle. Why? Because so often “self” becomes my idol. I want to be served and over and over again I claw my way onto the throne only God is fit to sit on. Because of this, my cravings for attention, if left unchecked, simply leave me feeling undervalued, unappreciated, and taken for granted. That’s when the tears flow. Or the angry outbursts start. Or the jealousy takes root. Or I start comparing myself to others endlessly. I take everything personally. I fret. I snap. I whine.

The secret to feeling better about myself is to get over myself.

God has a way of turning things upside down. The secret to feeling better about myself is to get over myself. It’s a quality the Bible defines as humility.

I’ve often heard it said that humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but rather thinking of ourselves less. That sounds like a worthy New Year’s resolution to me! But let’s face it, true humility is impossible in our own strength. We need Jesus, who modeled consistent, radical humility and then called us to it to equip us to turn our thoughts toward Him and others. Ultimately, the fact that life is not all about me is very good news. It frees me to fix my eyes on the One through whom all things were made.

Jesus, turn our eyes and hearts toward you this year. Teach us true humility. Help us to live in a way that points others toward you. Amen.

Yesterday, I challenged you to resolve to put God’s Truth into action in 2014. I gave you five action steps based on the Truths Nancy writes about in Lies Women Believe.

Here are five more ways you can live out God’s Truth in 2014.

1. I will wave the white flag (Isa. 46:10).

At True Woman conferences, the goodie bag handed out to all attendees always includes a white hankie. That handkerchief is intended to symbolize surrender to God’s will and plans for our lives. One of the highlights for me at each conference is watching those hankies wave all over the auditorium. Without speaking, each woman who waves one is screaming, “I know God’s will for me is good! I choose to surrender to it.”

Nothing can touch our lives that has not first been “filtered through His fingers of love.”

At the dawn of a new year, it may be easy for some of us to express that very sentiment. But challenges will come, and that is when the rubber will really meet the road about our feelings toward God’s will.

We may find ourselves wondering, Is this a mistake, God? Surely this is not what you have planned for my life.

When those moments come in the year ahead, we have the choice to wave a white flag (figuratively or literally), knowing that our lives are in God’s hand, and nothing can touch our lives that has not first been “filtered through His fingers of love.”

“He makes no mistakes with His children’s lives. Someone has said, ‘God’s will is exactly what we would choose, if we knew what God knows.’ When we stand in eternity looking back on this earthly existence, we will know by sight what we can only see now by faith: He has done all things well” (Lies Women Believe).

2. I will talk about grace often this year (2 Cor. 12:9).

The Bible says that God’s grace is sufficient for us.

When you come to a bend in the road in 2014, God’s grace will already be there waiting. He has ample grace for all that you are facing. He has copious amounts of grace for whatever is ahead. When you’re out of options, He has grace galore.

“Where sin abounds, grace does much more abound. When I am weak, He is strong. When I am empty, He is full. When I have no resources of my own left, His resources have not begun to be depleted. . . . We need to speak the Truth to ourselves; we need to speak it to each other. In every season, in every circumstance, His grace is sufficient. It is sufficient for me; it is sufficient for you” (Lies Women Believe).

All of us need to be reminded that God’s grace is enough to carry us through. Why not name this the year of grace! Take every opportunity to talk about God’s grace to yourself and to others.

3. I will reject sin because of the cross (1 John 1:7, Rom. 6:6–7).

Are there sins in your life that have become habitual? Are there areas where you are operating under the false belief that you will never have victory over your sin? Do you secretly doubt that Christ’s blood is enough to cover a secret or addictive sin?

There is no sin you have committed and no sin you will commit that cannot be forgiven and covered by Jesus’ sacrifice.

Jesus offers forgiveness of sins willingly. The realization of this should motivate us to be intolerant toward sin in our own lives.

“This [Christ’s sacrifice] should not cause us to take sin more lightly; to the contrary, the realization that our sin required the lifeblood of the Lord Jesus should leave us broken and humble in spirit, and determined to choose the pathway of obedience, by the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit” (Lies Women Believe).

Make this your mantra: “The Truth is, I don’t have to sin (Rom. 6:14).

4. I will see my past as redeemable (1 Cor. 6:9–11).

There is nothing in your past that God cannot use.

There is nothing you’ve experienced that makes you damaged goods.

Your past does not have to plague you.

“The Truth is that our past—our upbringing, the ways we have been wronged, and the ways we have wronged others—these things do not have to be hindrances. In fact, by God’s grace, they can actually become stepping-stones to greater victory and fruitfulness” (Lies Women Believe).

What burdens have you brought into this New Year? You are free to drop them at God’s feet, trusting that He will work them for your good (Rom. 8:28).

5. I will run to God’s Word as a first resort and point others toward it instead of offering my advice (Ps. 19:7, 107:20, 119:105).

“The Truth is, the Word of God is alive and powerful; it is medicine for troubled hearts and peace for plagued minds. It is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. Whatever our need, whatever our circumstances, the Word of God is sufficient to meet that need. And it is sufficient to meet the needs of those we love.

People around us who are hurting and needy don’t need to hear our opinions and suggestions. They need to know what God says. They need to know His commands, His promises, and His ways. If we really want to help people, we must point them to the Truth and prayerfully and lovingly show them how to apply the Truth in their situation” (Lies Women Believe).

Which of these action steps do you most need to take in the new year? Select one of the “I will” statements from above and tweet it to be entered to win a copy of Lies Women Believe. We’ll choose three winners. And don’t forget to leave me a comment below, because I’d love to hear from you.

Ready? Set. Choose Truth!

Enter our rafflecopter giveaway to win a free copy of Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

(This giveaway is continued from yesterday.)

P.S. Check out the Lies Young Women Believe Blog for more Truths to set you free!

What is it about a new year that makes us all want to call for a massive “do over”? We collectively vow to shed a few pounds, save a few pennies, and ditch the nasty habits that plagued us the year before.

Resolve to put God’s Truth into action.

But year after year most of us fail to hit the marks we set for ourselves. According to one university study, only 8% of people are actually successful at achieving their resolution.

Despite our best intentions, why do we so often fail at reshaping who we are?

Maybe it’s because we’re so focused on self-improvement that we miss the transformation that only comes from God’s Word.

In John 8:31–33 Jesus wrote about it this way, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'”

The root of most of our resolutions is the desire for freedom. We want freedom from the things that stress us out, freak us out, or make us feel less than. Jesus says that the key that unlocks the door to freedom is the Truth, not another fifteen minutes on the treadmill or another trip to the container store.

So this year let me encourage you to resolve to put God’s Truth into action. I’ll even get you started. In Lies Women Believe Nancy wrote about twenty-two life-changing Truths rooted in God’s Word. I’ll turn those Truths into action steps over the next few days. Before we dig in, let me pass along some advice Nancy gave in the book,

“Rather than skimming through [these posts], let me encourage you to take time to savor these liberating, life-changing Truths. Say each Truth aloud—again and again and again—until your thinking becomes aligned with God’s way of thinking. You may even want to memorize the list, along with the key Scriptures that correspond to each Truth.”

Now that’s a plan we can stick to! Ready? Let’s choose Truth together.

1. I will believe that God is good (Ps. 119:68, 136:1).

The Bible promises that God is good. Whether or not it feels like it in the moment, God is good. He has good things in store for those who love Him.

“The Truth is, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of what we feel, regardless of what we think, God is good, and everything He does is good” (Lies Women Believe).

How would it change things for you if you resolved to hold on to the Truth that God is good in 2014?

2. I will be confident because of God’s love (Rom. 8:32, 38-39).

Most of our typical New Year’s resolutions can be traced back to insecurity. We want to be set free from the things that make us feel less than. We-want to be thinner, more organized, or have more money in the bank in order to feed our ever-craving egos. But we do not have to seek love and acceptance from others. God declares His deep, enduring, and everlasting love for each of us in His Word.

The reality of God’s love can free us from the need to look for love and acceptance elsewhere.

“Because God is good and loves us perfectly, we can be confident that He longs for us to experience all the joy in life He designed us to know. He knows we will only find this true and lasting joy and fulfillment in Him. He loves us so much, He insists that we come to Him, where alone we can be fully satisfied” (Lies Women Believe).

3. I will stop trying to earn God’s acceptance (Eph. 1:4–6).

God does not accept you because you have quiet times every morning, volunteer often in your church, or avoid certain types of sins. This year, you can worship and serve God out of an overflow of gratitude for His acceptance in Christ instead of as an attempt to earn His favor.

“We don’t have to jump through all kinds of spiritual ‘hoops.’ In fact, there is not one thing we can do to make ourselves acceptable to a holy God. Yet we—fallen, condemned, unworthy sinners—can stand before God clean and unashamed, accepted in His sight. How? Because Jesus—the pure, sinless Son of God—is acceptable to Him, and we stand in Him” (Lies Women Believe).

Make a list of the things you do as a part of your Christian walk. Ask the Lord to reveal if there is anything on that list you are doing as an attempt to earn His favor and acceptance. Then ask Him to help you recalibrate with the knowledge that you are already accepted.

4. I will stop looking to _________________ to satisfy my needs (Ps. 23:1).
   • Money
   • Relationships
   • Marriage
   • Children
   • iStuff
   • Work
   • Friendships
   • Volunteering

These are just a few of the things that I tend to look to to meet my deepest needs to feel safe, valued, and worthy. But only God can truly meet those needs. When I look to anything else to satisfy, I find my longings unfulfilled.

“The Truth is, if we have Him, we have everything we need for our present peace and happiness” (Lies Women Believe).

What did you look to for satisfaction in 2013? Resolve to shift your eyes to Christ to meet those needs in the year ahead.

5. I will learn and believe God’s promises (Isa. 28:16).

God can be trusted.

That’s a statement that most of us know we should agree with, but the way we live our lives indicates that we’re not sure He will keep His promises to us.

Make it a point to study all that God promises you in His Word. Find ways to memorize His promises (notecards, write them on your bathroom mirror, download a Scripture memorization app so that you can move from head knowledge about His Word to believing what He says with all of your heart.

“God keeps His promises. He has promised never to leave or forsake us (Heb. 13:5). He has promised that those who trust in Him will ultimately be satisfied. From time to time, I have to remind myself: ‘God has never once let me down—and He’s not going to start now!'” (Lies Women Believe).

We’ll focus on five more action steps rooted in God’s Truth tomorrow. Until then, I’d love to hear from you. Which of the action steps from the list above do you most need to put into practice? Where do you need freedom in the year ahead?

Select one of the “I will” statements from above and tweet it to be entered to win a copy of Lies Women Believe. We’ll choose three winners. And don’t forget to comment below, because I’d love to hear from you.

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When I was only twelve weeks along with my first-born son, the doctor called us with some devastating news. The baby’s tiny bladder was blocked, meaning he couldn’t process amniotic fluid and wasn’t expected to survive the pregnancy. My husband and I immediately decided that I would carry the baby to term despite the diagnosis. That decision launched us into a season of prayer unlike anything we had ever experienced before.

I quickly realized that I didn’t have the words to ask God to respond the way I wanted Him too. All I could pray was, “Don’t let him die!” but that didn’t really capture the mighty work I was asking God to do.

So I started praying Scriptures for my son.

During that season of intense prayer, when I didn’t know what words to say, I learned the power of praying the Scriptures for my children.

I often prayed “Lord, every good and perfect gift is from you (James 1:17). Please let this gift be born perfect, and without defects.”  Many, many days I prayed Psalm 139 which promises that God was forming my son in the depths of my womb and had His hand on even my baby’s inmost parts. I asked God to make the “inmost parts” of my baby’s bladder and kidneys whole and healthy. I quoted James 5:15 often to God. That verse says, “And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.” I also prayed Romans 8:28 and asked God to work the entire situation for my good.

During that season of intense prayer, when I didn’t know what words to say, I learned the power of praying the Scriptures for my children.

When my baby was born, Nancy mailed me a book titled Praying the Scriptures for Your Children. It has been an invaluable resource in teaching me how to pray for my kids. It outlines specific passages of Scripture to pray for your child in areas like your child’s salvation, spiritual protection, your child’s marriage and purpose in life.

In the forward for that book, Fern Nichols writes:

“I believe the greatest influence a mom can have in the life of her child is through prayer. As she stands in the gap for her beloved child, the Sovereign Lord of heaven and earth hears and answers her prayers . . . One of the most powerful [prayer] principles is Scripture praying. When we pray the promises of God for our children, our faith increases because we are praying back the very words of God.”

I now pray God’s Word for my kids as often as possible.

When they are struggling in an area of behavior I don’t just say, “God, make them behave!” instead I pray “Lord, I know that lacking self-control makes my kids vulnerable to the Enemy (Pro. 25:28). Self-control comes from your Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:23); please teach them self-control through your Spirit.”

Instead of just asking God to change my kids, I find Scriptures that apply to my children’s needs and then turn my heart toward those specific truths.

Instead of saying, “keep them pure,” I pray, “Lord, hide your word in their hearts so that they don’t want to sin against you” (Ps. 119:11).

Do you see how that works? Instead of just asking God to change my kids, I find Scriptures that apply to my children’s needs and then turn my heart toward those specific truths.

Does it work? You betcha. In fact, allow me introduce you to some proof. Meet Elisha. My strong, happy three-year-old with a healthy bladder. He’s a good and perfect gift alright, formed by the hand of an exceedingly loving God.

We’re celebrating God’s faithfulness here on the True Woman blog with some of our favorite posts from 2013. We trust these posts will help you start your year off with a God-centered focus.

I pen these words a few days after a bomber took out an eight-year-old as he waited for his dad to cross the finish line of the Boston marathon. There’s not a single day I drop my son off at preschool that I don’t think about Sandy Hook and have to fight the urge to do a U-turn in the school parking lot, bring him home, and lock all the doors. Then there are super viruses, bacterial infections, and childhood cancers. It’s enough to make me want to say this desperate prayer all day, every day, “Jesus, keep my kids safe. Jesus, keep my kids safe. JESUS, PLEASE KEEP MY KIDS SAFE!”

Is it possible that God wants to call our children to something dangerous?

But our kids aren’t growing up in a safe world. In fact, no child ever has.

It’s natural to want our children to be protected from harm, but lately I’ve been thinking that when we spend all our energy praying for our children to be safe, we are missing something big. We are asking God to be our children’s safety net. Is it possible that instead He wants to call them to something dangerous?

This is how Jesus taught us to pray:

“And [Jesus] said to them,
‘When you pray, say: ‘Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.’” (Luke 11:2–4)

Jesus doesn’t teach us to avoid asking for needs to be met. “Daily bread” represents the essentials of life. Health and safety certainly qualify. But asking for those things wasn’t the essence of His prayer. His focus was on the Father’s will.

The Christian life is not a safe life. It is

a call to live counter-culturally and to willingly engage in battles that are big and costly.

The words “your kingdom come” slay me when I think about praying for my children. I spend so much of my time praying for my kingdom. I am supposed to be praying for His.

With God’s kingdom in mind, is safe the most important thing for my kids to be? When I look hard at the life God calls us to as Christians, the answer is clearly no. The Christian life is not a safe life. It is a call to live counter-culturally and to willingly engage in battles that are big and costly.

Ephesians 6:12 offers this perspective:

“We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

We want our children to follow Christ, but that likely won’t lead to an easy, safe life. It means they will need to pick up their cross. It means they will need to lay down their lives. It means they will become warriors in battles against the “spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” It means they won’t always be “safe.”  

I have a friend who has often prayed this prayer for me:

“Jesus, make Erin and her family dangerous to the Enemy.”

Dangerous? It’s the opposite of safe. But the truth is no matter how much we wish it wasn’t so, there is no guarantee of safety in this world. And while it may temporarily soothe our anxiety to beg the Lord to hide our kids from all threats of harm, there is a better prayer we can be praying:

“Lord, make my child dangerous to the Enemy.”

It’s a prayer that may not wrap us up in comfort like begging the Lord to keep our kids safe has a tendency to do. It is a bigger prayer with bigger implications than a safety net can ever offer. But decades from now, after I am long gone and my kids come to the end of their own lives, if I’m honest, I hope they won’t have played it safe. I hope they will have given everything they have to further God’s kingdom. I hope others will see they were a serious threat to those spiritual forces of evil. As their momma, prayer is a huge part of my job, so I’m resolved to pray for more than safety. Yes, I want them to be protected, but even more than that, I want them to be dangerous.

Will you join me in praying for God to make our kids a generation that is especially dangerous to the Enemy?

The book of 1 Samuel records a great battle between the people of God, the Israelites, and one of their fiercest enemies, the Philistines. Israel lost 4,000 men on the battlefield in a single day. In the face of such crushing defeat, the elders of Israel called for the Ark of the Covenant to be brought into the camp to rally the troops and boost morale.

First Samuel 4:5–7 reports, “As soon as the ark of the covenant of the LORD came into the camp, all Israel gave a mighty shout, so that the earth resounded. And when the Philistines heard the noise of the shouting they said, ‘What does this great shouting in the camp of the Hebrews mean?’ And when they learned that the ark of the LORD had come to the camp, the Philistines were afraid, for they said, ‘A god has come into the camp.’ And they said, ‘Woe to us! For nothing like this has happened before.'”

God is alive and well and involved in the lives of His people.

The Ark of the Covenant was a visible sign of the holy presence of God. God didn’t live in that box, of course, but it was a reminder God was alive and well and involved in the lives of His people.

Because of this, when the Ark came into the camp, the Bible tells us the people of God celebrated so loudly the earth shook.

Talk about a celebration!

But what caused much rejoicing among the people of God caused much fear among their enemies.

The Philistines said three things we need to pay attention to:

1. A god has come into the camp.
2. Woe to us!
3. Nothing like this has happened before.

Hold that thought. We’ll come back to it.

Fast-forward to the Christmas story recorded in the first few chapters of Matthew and Luke.

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us) (Matt. 1:23).

Of course, this passage is talking about the birth of Jesus, but don’t miss one of the other names for Jesus—Immanuel. The prophets had foretold that people would refer to Him in this way all the way back in Isaiah 7:14:

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”

God wanted His people to know and to wait with expectation for the day He would dwell among them. Pause for a moment. Let your mind be blown.

• God among us.
• The God who created all things, among us.
• The God who knows all things, among us.
• The God who reigns. The God who rules. The God whose power knows no limits, among us.

Immanuel is a very big deal.

God left heaven and came to earth to be with us. To rescue us. But when He ascended into heaven, He did not leave us alone.

As we celebrate Christmas this year, we need to take a minute to hone in on Immanuel. God left heaven and came to earth to be with us. To rescue us. But when He ascended into heaven, He did not leave us alone.

In Matthew 28:20, Jesus said, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

No matter what, He remains “God with us.”

And if we’re telling the whole story, we see this radical reality still has the same effect on God’s enemies.

Remember what the Philistines said?

1. A god has come into the camp.
2. Woe to us!
3. Nothing like this has happened before.

You better believe God’s enemy, Satan, is still singing that tune this Christmas.

1. God is with them!
2. Woe to me! Translation: I’m ruined.
3. Nothing like this has ever happened before.

He came to be with us to save us from sin and death. He came to be with us because we so desperately need to be rescued.

You see, Christmas is about so much more than the Babe in the manger. He didn’t come to be with us so that we could look over the edge of His crib and ooh and ah. He came to be with us, to die for our sins . . . to rise from the grave . . . to deal a fatal blow to our shared enemy. He came to be with us to save us from sin and death. He came to be with us because we so desperately need to be rescued.

So celebrate that this Christmas. Celebrate so loudly that others notice. Take a cue from the people of Israel, and dance until the earth shakes. Because Immanuel changes everything.

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us) (Matt. 1:23).

To examine other characters from the Christmas story, visits these posts by Erin Davis on LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com.

Sinking Your Teeth into the Promises of God

The Original Grinch

What Should We Do for Jesus?

A Closer Look at Mary’s Dream Guy

The Bravest Sentence in the Bible

‘Tis the season to be hospitable.

One thing I love about the Christmas season is we tend to look over the fences that so often separate us from those near by and say, “Come on in.” We host Christmas parties and dinners. We blow up the airbeds and set out the guest towels and invite family members from out of town to stay awhile. We bake. We clean. We decorate. We host.

All this is a very good thing! We tend to think of hospitality as a character trait reserved for those with natural Martha Stewart-like capabilities. But did you know the Bible urges all of us to demonstrate hospitality?

It’s true!

Romans 12:13 says, “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”

1 Peter 4:9 says, “Show hospitality to one another . . .” (But there’s a catch. We’ll get to that in a minute.)

When I make my home an inhospitable environment for the people I love most in order to make it welcoming for others, I’m missing God’s heart for hospitality.

What is hospitality exactly? I like to think of it as providing a soft place to land in a world that is often hard to take. There are lots of verses throughout the entire Bible that encourage us to practice hospitality; especially toward those who belong to what Galatians 6:10 calls “the household of faith” (i.e. other Christians).

But let’s get real. Those cookies don’t bake themselves. Guests make messes. They upset routines. They give us the overwhelming urge to dust the baseboards. Christmas parties and dinners take a lot of time, money, and effort on our parts. The Food Network makes it all look so easy, but often it isn’t.

I don’t know about you, but as I seek to be hospitable toward others, I tend to be inhospitable toward the members of my own family. I bark out orders to my husband and children. I sigh heavily under the false sense that no one but me is doing any of the work. I grumble about the money spent, the time invested, the floors that need swept (again!).

Remember 1 Peter 4:9? I told you there was a catch. The entire verse reads,

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

When I make my home an inhospitable environment (as in hostile, cold, and unwelcoming) for the people I love most in order to make it welcoming for others, I’m missing God’s heart for hospitality.

Yes! Invite people over to your home. Yes! Seek to provide warm meals and warm fuzzies. Yes! Create a soft spot for others to land. But do it without grumbling. Because a peaceful home flows out of a peaceful heart.

Colossians 3:23–24 is a great mantra for each of us to adopt this holiday season:

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

The goal of hospitality is not to win a prize for cleanest house, best meal, or coziest bed. The goal is to demonstrate Christ’s love in practical and tangible ways. Since He is the One we are ultimately serving, in order to demonstrate true hospitality, His priorities (people), must become our priorities.

Don’t work to earn gold stars and oohs and aahs this year. Work to put Christ on display.

So . . . seek to bless others during this busy season. Look for ways to show hospitality. But start with those closest to you. How can you demonstrate hospitality to your husband? Your children? Your co-workers?

And remember to give with a happy heart. A store-bought pie served with a smile is of much greater value than a homemade one made through gritted teeth. Don’t work to earn gold stars and oohs and aahs this year. Work to put Christ on display. What could be better than that?

I’d love to hear all about your holiday plans. Tell me how you’ll be showing hospitality toward others this year, and we’ll choose five of you on Thursday, December 12, to win Nancy’s message, “The Heart Of Hospitality” on CD.

These days my thoughts have drifted to the Pilgrims.

We tend to romanticize that first Thanksgiving. We imagine happy Pilgrims sitting over steaming plates of food and kindly asking their Indian guests to “please pass the potatoes.” It’s all so quaint—but our retellings of history have a way of puffing up the happy stuff and glossing over grim realities.

The first Thanksgiving wasn’t necessarily about celebrating abundance. It was more about celebrating God’s presence in the midst of great trial.

The first Thanksgiving feast occurred in 1621. True, there were Indians there. History records that ninety members of the Wampanoag tribe were present.

Of the 100 pilgrims who boarded the Mayflower in search of a new life, only fifty-three remained alive to eat the first Thanksgiving feast.

Which brings me to my point. (You just thought I was a history nerd, didn’t you?) The first Thanksgiving wasn’t necessarily about celebrating abundance. It was more about celebrating God’s presence in the midst of great trial.

The Pilgrims landed in New England after a treacherous journey. They spent their first winter on the boat because conditions didn’t allow them to build the new life they dreamed of on shore. Half the pilgrims died from exposure, malnutrition, and illness.

The real story doesn’t paint a pretty picture. It doesn’t hold up well to our Norman Rockwell and Martha Stewart visions of brined turkey and fall centerpieces. Sure there was food and fellowship, but that wasn’t the spirit of why they gathered.

They gathered because they chose to be thankful when bitterness, discouragement, doubt, and despair seemed like more logical options.

The Bible calls Thanksgiving a sacrifice (Ps. 107:22, 116:17; Jonah 2:9).

Giving thanks may not feel much like a sacrifice when the turkey is fat and the children’s cheeks are ruddy. Yet even in our current state of abundance, many of us find it difficult to take the time to thank God for all He’s done.

When life is hard and the days are dark and cold, thanking God is the response I can choose.

But when our plans go terribly wrong, our finances fail, our expectations are thwarted, or the smell of death is close by . . . then Thanksgiving becomes truly a sacrifice.

The truth is: life can be really, really hard. And yet,

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18).

How can this be?

Sorry for skipping around on the holiday calendar a bit, but when we are struggling with giving thanks, we need to remember what happened on Easter. Jesus died on the cross to save each of us from our sins. He paid a penalty we could never pay, freeing us from the bondage of sin and death. That alone should set our hearts into perpetual thankful mode. But three days after His sacrificial death, Jesus rose from the grave. He is alive!

Even when life is really, really hard we can be thankful for the great hope we have in a living God. Nothing can stop Him. Nothing can hold Him. The lengths He went to to demonstrate His love for us should cause gratitude to perpetually bubble up in our hearts.

I am thankful for that first Thanksgiving and all the turkey dinners it has afforded me. But this year, I am thankful for the deeper lesson that when life is hard and the days are dark and cold, thanking God is the response I can choose.

It’s a lesson I’m sure God will need to remind me of next year and the year after that. But God seems willing to keep teaching about thanksgiving, even to slow learners like me. For that, I am thankful.

Even if your circumstances are difficult, what can you thank the living God for this year? Leave us a comment with your answer by Monday, December 2, and I will choose five of you to win a copy of Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

I’ve always been a “good girl.”

Straight A student. Rarely in trouble. Picked the right college, the right fella, the right outfit. You get the idea.

Turning my life over to Jesus ripped my story into two halves: life before Him and life after Him. Still, there isn’t a lot of drama in the “before” part. No skeletons in the closet. No criminal record. No massive public failures.

The achievements, accomplishments, and attitudes we polish up squeaky clean are destined to end up looking like filthy rags next to God’s holiness.

I know this is why the gospel has always gone down smooth for me. Yes, God forgave me of my sins. Yes, that is good news. But honestly, there wasn’t that much to forgive. I’m a good girl, remember?

But I’ve been walking with the Lord for almost two decades now. And the strangest thing has happened. The longer I know Him, the more familiar I become with His Word, the uglier my heart looks. It’s like one of those optical illusion pictures that just looks like a bunch of squiggles at first. But the longer you stare, the more the edges of a hidden image start to emerge.

Unfortunately, the image of my heart is not a pretty picture.

Sure, my behavior screams “good girl.”

But my deceitful heart whispers . . .

• Jealousy
  
• Pride
  
• Envy
  
• Hate
  
• Anger
  
• Bitterness
  
• Greed

So a wrestling match has begun in me. Suddenly, I am painfully aware of my desperate need for grace.

Here’s the truth: there are no good girls.

The Bible tells us no one is good except God (Rom. 3:10). The achievements, accomplishments, and attitudes we polish up squeaky clean are destined to end up looking like filthy rags next to God’s holiness (Isa. 64:6).

I keep on sinning. My sin nature seems to be super glued to me. Being a good girl doesn’t dissolve its adhesive effect. Following the rules doesn’t make me righteous. Acting like Pollyanna isn’t the same as having a pure heart.

I am thankful the dam of my goodness has broken, because God’s huge grace is what has come pouring through.

So week after week, as the communion cup is passed, I wrestle and I weep. It has taken my entire life, but my good girl façade has cracked.

On my very best days I am still a sinner. But while the bad news has been pinning me to the mat lately, the good news keeps picking me up and dusting me off:

“The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 6:23)

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Rom. 8:1)

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Cor. 5:21)

I am thankful the dam of my goodness has broken, because God’s huge grace is what has come pouring through. The gospel doesn’t always feel good. Facing up to the reality of our sin hurts. But when I wrestle with the gospel, the gospel always wins.

No, being a good girl is not enough. But the grace of a good God is.

Not-so-good girls like me find that to be very Good News.

As a woman, what’s your job in your home?

Give me your answer in 3, 2, 1 . . .

I know it probably didn’t take you three seconds to answer that simple question. In fact, I bet in those three seconds you came up with a list something like:

• Wife
• Mom
• Grandma
• Cook
• Maid
• Chauffeur
• Menu Planner
• Event Planner
• Fun Planner
• Disciplinarian
• Floor Scrubber
• Medic
• Lawn Keeper
• Seamstress
• Accountant
• Interior Decorator

I could go on. We’re all spinning lots of plates.

In fact, several months ago I was struggling to keep all the aforementioned plates spinning. I was praying for right perspective on my priorities when I felt the Holy Spirit rewrite my job description.

“Your job is to be a Comforter.”

“Come again, Lord?”

“Your job in this home is to be a Comforter.”

That seemed like a massive oversimplification to me. But considering how exhausting it was to try and be the end-all, be-all, I was willing to do some investigating.

I discovered that God is the original Comforter.

In Isaiah 51:12 He says, “I, I am he who comforts you.” Second Corinthians 1:3 calls Him the “God of all comfort.” Psalm 23:4 reminds us that God’s rod and staff (power and protection) are a source of comfort even in dark valleys.

Being a comforter to others is part of the character of God, but what does that have to do with me?

I am like the moon.

The moon doesn’t give off any light of its own. It simply reflects the sun. According to Genesis 1:26–27, my design as a woman is carefully crafted to reflect the character of God. One of the qualities I am uniquely equipped to reflect is the role of comforter.

My design as a woman is carefully crafted to reflect the character of God.

Certainly men can be comforters, too, but not in the unique ways we can as women. I’m able to comfort my husband like no other can. I’m able to comfort my children like no other can. I’m able to extend comfort to others through my home like no other can.

If you’re questioning how to prioritize what’s on all those spinning plates, let me encourage you to start by asking, “How does this comfort others?” Certainly your family can be comforted through warm meals and a clean home, but I found many of the things I was doing weren’t comforting anyone. This helped me know what tasks to let go of since my desire is to reflect God more brightly.

How about you? How are you equipped to uniquely comfort those around you? Are you willing to let God rewrite your job description to help you better reflect Him to those in your home?

I’m on a quest to inspire young women to live lives of radical faith. I want their faith in Jesus to make a difference in the way they live. I want it to change how they see the world. I want them to be willing to take risks for the Kingdom.

But I’ve encountered a bit of a roadblock.

Our girls are drowning in busyness.

Is it the culture? Nope. (Greater is He that is in them, than he that is in the world, after all). Are they uninterested in radical faith? No. They want to live radical lives for Christ. So, what’s the problem?

It’s their day planners. Young women have so much to do; they don’t even have time to pray or read their Bibles, much less do something radical. Our girls are drowning in busyness. We need to throw them a life raft!

In many ways life for the average middle school and high school girl has started to resemble a pressure cooker. Here’s a bird’s eye view of the problem:

• Because of the pressure to get into a good college, many girls opt to take Advanced Placement (AP) classes. Experts say each AP class will likely result in forty-five minutes of homework every single school night. If your girl is in three AP classes—say, AP English, AP Biology, and AP Math—she’s spending almost two and a half hours doing homework after each eight-hour school day.
• 23% of young women spend two to five hours per day practicing a sport or musical instrument.
• 21% of young women spend at least ten hours per week working for pay.
• Most of them are spending two to ten hours per week hanging out with friends.

Let me do the math for you.

We all get 168 hours each week. Between school, sports, and friends, girls are spending eighty hours of that time. Add in some time for sleep, and 133 hours are gone. Now factor in family time, involvement in church, and time for fun, and we’re well past 168 hours.

Ale wrote us about it on the Lies Young Women Believe blog,

“I so desperately need a rest. I’m too busy. My relationship with the Lord is getting weak. I have no time for anything, not even for myself—doing college homework, helping people who need me—I wanna accomplish everything!!!! Most of the time, I’m at church which is a good thing, but being involved in so many things is driving me nuts!”

How can we raise up the next generation of true women if they don’t have time to know God’s Word? How can we pass the baton to a group of girls who are too tired to finish the race?

We can’t hope for our girls to value silence, stillness, and Sabbath if they never see us doing the same.

The specifics of how to create margin will vary from person to person and family to family, but I know one thing for sure. We can’t expect young women to resist the pull of busyness if we don’t do it first. We can’t hope for them to value silence, stillness, and Sabbath if they never see us doing the same.

My mission to raise up a generation of radical young women starts here, with those of us who are a little further down the road. As we model balance, we are teaching an invaluable lesson to those who will run the race next.

So, how about you? Is busyness a roadblock to radical faith in your life? How can you encourage the young women in your world to say no to busyness in order to chase hard after a radical faith?

Note: Portions of this post are taken from my new book, My Name Is Erin: One Girl’s Plan For Radical Faith.

I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified (1 Cor. 2:2).

There are all kinds of little “g” gospels. These are messages we preach to ourselves citing the (false) reasons God will surely love and accept us.

• There’s the gospel of association: “I’m a Christian because I was raised in a Christian home.”
• There’s the gospel of achievement: “God loves me because I do so much for Him.”
• There’s the gospel of comparison: “I am holy because I’m not as messed up as she is.”

These are all false gospels. Association, achievement, and comparison will never give us victory over our sin.

There is a little “g” gospel that is particularly dangerous and tempting as we parent. It’s the gospel of goodness. “God will love me if I am a very, very good boy or girl.”

But there is another little “g” gospel that is particularly dangerous and tempting as we parent. It’s the gospel of goodness. “God will love me if I am a very, very good boy or girl.”

We preach this gospel to our children when we give them the impression that church is about sitting quietly through a sermon. We do it when we try to spackle over our own junk whenever we head into church or gather with other Christians. We do it when we reduce the Bible down to a list of don’ts. We do it when we believe the lie that parenthood is about raising well-behaved children rather than radicals for Christ.

When Paul wrote this first letter to the church in Corinth, he wanted to get one thing straight—there was only one gospel he cared to preach. It was the only gospel with any power after all. It’s Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

Jesus’ death on the cross is the only way you and your kids can:

• have power over sin.
• be reconciled to God.
• live holy lives in a corrupt and godless generation.
• be salt and light to your lost neighbors and friends.

The good boy/good girl gospel will never get you or your kids there. Only Jesus Christ and Him crucified ever can.

The good boy/good girl gospel will never get you or your kids there. Only Jesus Christ and Him crucified ever can.

I realize there are levels and ranges of spiritual maturity with our kids and grandkids. I’m not advocating you show your two-year-old The Passion of the Christ or try to explain propitiation to your preschooler. But I think Paul’s creed is a good one: I am here to preach Christ and Him crucified. No little “g” gospel will work instead. The message my children need to hear me preaching most often is that Jesus paid the price for their sin. His love and acceptance of them is not rooted in their ability to be good.

As we seek to influence children who know Christ and ultimately devote our lives to Him, let’s seek to preach the gospel of grace, not goodness.

Yesterday, I wrote about God’s warning against spiritual envy from Jude 12–13. While that passage hit me hard, it felt like a walk in the park compared to what I read next.

Jude 14–15 reads,

“Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of his holy ones, to execute judgment on all and to convict all the ungodly of all their deeds of ungodliness that they have committed in such an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things that ungodly sinners have spoken against him.”

At first glance this sounds like a battle between God and the culture to me. Maybe Hollywood, pop music, and tabloid magazines are about to get their due. After all, they must be who Jude is describing as committing so many ungodly deeds, right?

Keep reading.

“These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires . . .” (v. 16)

Cue record scratch sound effect.

The sinners God’s judging here are:

• grumblers
• malcontents

In other words, they’re complainers. They are being judged because of their lack of gratitude, not because of some sin we would perceive to be more grievous or devastating.

This shouldn’t surprise me, I guess. God commands gratitude often in His Word:

“Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” (1 Chron. 16:34)

“Let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe.” (Heb. 12:28)

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thess. 5:18)

I’ve got to confess that it’s easy for me to gloss over these verses. I know I should be thankful, but if I’m not it seems like no harm, no foul.

Perhaps that’s why Jude takes such a dramatically different approach to the issue. Instead of simply reminding us to be thankful in warm and fuzzy terms he describes the judgment due to those who do not thank God for all He has done.

True gratitude, the really, really good stuff that fills our hearts to overflowing and delights our giving God isn’t a result of rule following but of a constant reminder of the beauty of the gospel.

Jude may have been referring to the wilderness generation here, or he may have some other group in mind as he describes the coming judgment, but I know he could have just as easily been talking about me.

Gratitude is not something I am good at, despite the fact that God is so deserving. Discontentment is my default. Complaining is sadly common practice for me. The beauty of God’s Word is that it helps us recalibrate when we’ve gotten off track. In this case, the clear image of God judging those who chronically complain and habitually choose discontentment has the power to remind us to do things differently.

Now, before you add the words “show gratitude” to your to-do list for tomorrow, let me give a little disclaimer. For achievement-driven, to-do-list-loving, Christian women like me, gratitude can so easily become something that feels like a rule: We must give thanks because God commands us to.

That’s true. It is a commandment, but true gratitude, the really, really good stuff that fills our hearts to overflowing and delights our giving God isn’t a result of rule following but of a constant reminder of the beauty of the gospel. If we are going to put anything on our to-do lists, it should be to remember all that God has done for us, that we never earned or deserved.

Let’s start right now.

What can you thank God for? Will you choose contentment by focusing on all He has done?

Leave a comment below by Monday, September 30, letting us know what you’re thanking God for. Then we’ll choose one of you at random to win Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

You know these are good things—kingdom building things—and yet, somewhere deep down you feel something other than excitement, joy, and the need to celebrate. You feel something a lot like envy:

• A friend of yours is asked to be the speaker at your church’s women’s event. She hits it out of the park, and there’s a huge response.
• Someone you know gets a deal to write a Bible study with a big-time publisher.
• A family in your church moves to the foreign mission field and are part of a mighty move of God.
• Your sister is a gifted prayer warrior. When she prays, things happen. Her prayers seem to have more power than yours.
• God clearly intervenes in someone’s marriage, or with their child, or with their health while you continue to pray for Him to do the same in your life.

I can relate. Pride often rears its ugly head in my life when God is clearly using and working in the lives of others. I know better, and yet . . . I still feel a little jealous when God’s hand rests on someone else’s shoulders.

Perhaps that’s why Jude 11–13 has hit me like a two-by-four in recent days:

“Woe to them! For they walked in the way of Cain and abandoned themselves for the sake of gain to Balaam’s error and perished in Korah’s rebellion. These are hidden reefs at your love feasts, as they feast with you without fear, shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted; wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkness has been reserved forever.”

To know who Jude is dropping the hammer on here, we must do our Old Testament homework. I’m sure you’re familiar with Cain. In Genesis 4 Cain explodes with anger because God favors his brother’s offering. His envy results in murder.

When we are upset about the gifts God gives others, we secretly and selfishly want attention or accolades and don’t like it when others get it.

We don’t bring offerings to the altar anymore, so this may look slightly different in our lives. But we follow the way of Cain any time we are angry, jealous, or put off by God’s clear favor in someone else’s life.

What was Balaam’s error? If you’ve never read Balaam’s story you should check out Numbers 22–23. For now, the main thing we need to know about Balaam is that he wanted to use the gifts God gave him for his own gain.

When we are upset about the gifts God gives others aren’t we doing the same thing? We secretly and selfishly want attention or accolades and don’t like it when others get it.

Korah was guilty of this. Korah’s rebellion is outlined in Numbers 16, but here’s the gist:

“They assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron and said to them, ‘You have gone too far! For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the LORD?” (v. 3)

Korah and his followers hated hierarchy. They refused to place themselves under spiritual authority because they thought it meant someone was better than them. (By the way, Korah and his cronies were swallowed up by the earth!)

These stories sound dramatic, but they all have one thing in common—spiritual envy. These are simply folks who resented God’s hand in the lives of others.

Jude has strong words for those of us who, like them:

• are jealous of God’s favor
• use God’s voice for personal gain
• want to be in charge
• resent spiritual authority.

And Jude gives us six clear word pictures for what spiritual envy makes us:

1. Hidden reefs: a danger that’s hard to detect.
2. Shepherds feeding themselves: greedy and bad for the herd.
3. Waterless clouds: useless.
4. Fruitless trees: in case you missed it . . . useless.
5. Wild waves of the sea: destructive.
6. Wandering stars: giving misleading guidance to travelers.

This is the cost of our spiritual envy. It makes us a danger to Christ’s Body and robs us of the fruit God intends to bear in our lives.

I don’t want to follow the way of Cain any longer. I don’t want to repeat Balaam’s error or participate in Korah’s rebellion. Instead, I am reminded that God’s blessing is as much a gift when I’m a bystander as it is when I’m the recipient. What’s good for Christ’s Body is ultimately good for me.

What about you? Do you ever struggle with spiritual envy? How do Jude’s words resonate with you?

Psst . . . for a second lesson I’m learning from these verses, check out tomorrow’s post.

Yesterday I wrote about the influx of readers at LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com who are struggling with porn. I urged you to get involved by talking about this difficult issue with the young women in your life.

But I know those won’t be easy conversations to have.

Porn is a serious issue, but it is not an unpardonable sin.

Porn isn’t fun to think about. It certainly isn’t easy to talk about. It’s one of those issues we prefer to imagine impacts somebody else. Or for those who know the dark truth—that porn can sink its teeth into anyone—talking honestly about it can be amongst our worst fears.

If you fall into the category of women who have wrestled with porn, let me take a moment to talk just to you. I wish I could take you out to lunch and tell you that yes, porn is a serious issue. But most importantly, despite what Satan is whispering to you, porn addiction is not an unpardonable sin. Jesus Christ is more than able to deliver you and take away the shame you may be feeling. You don’t have to hide, in fact you could join me in leading a charge to set others free.

Because this issue has become too big for us to remain silent.

You may have read about Britain’s sweeping reform this past summer. Saying that the “darkest corners of the Internet” pose a threat to children, British Prime Minister David Cameron rolled out a radical and controversial plan to stop porn’s influence on his country’s youngest citizens.

The plan essentially blocks porn on most computers, smart phones, and tablets. Filters for adult content will become the default setting, and to access porn, citizens will have to prove they are eighteen or older. Cameron also demanded that Google and other search engine companies do more to hide porn from kids.

Cameron announced, “I am not making this speech because I want to (moralize) or scare-monger, but because I feel profoundly as a politician, and as a father, that the time for action has come. This is, quite simply, about how to protect children and their innocence.”

Has the time for action on the issue of porn come? Let’s look at what’s at stake:

• One study found that 93.2% of boy participants and 61.1% of girls had been exposed to porn.
• The number of fifteen to seventeen year olds who have had multiple exposures to hardcore porn is somewhere around 80%. 
• The average age of first Internet exposure to porn is eleven years old.

Fact: Our kids are seeing porn. We know we don’t want this, but we should really know why. Here’s a great article from Focus on the Family that outlines the harmful effects of porn better than I could, but let me hit the highlights.

Porn is a big deal because it:

• Wreaks havoc on marriages.
• Creates unrealistic expectations.
• Is addictive and progressive.
• Causes emotional trauma to children who are exposed.
• Leads to earlier sexual activity.
• Devalues monogamy, marriage, and child rearing.

This list is not intended to batter those of you who have struggled with porn. You likely already know that porn can make a mess of things. But I think it’s critical for us to see in black and white what porn can do.

If that list isn’t devastating enough, there is plenty of evidence that easy access to porn has led to an increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and sometimes violent sexual behavior. Did you know that the FBI’s statistics show that pornography is found at 80% of the scenes of violent sex crimes or in the homes of the perpetrators? 

Porn matters because it launches an attack against so much of what God has created and treasures. But we’re not the prime ministers of a major world power. We can’t drag Google into the boardroom or force the citizens of our nation to change the settings on their personal computer.

So what can we do? I’d like to propose a three-pronged counter attack.

1. Pray

Prayer moves mountains. In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says,

“If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.'”

When we see the numbers and realize how big the problem is, doing something about our culture’s porn problem can feel like climbing Mt. Everest. But nothing is impossible with God. I believe the avalanche of comments we’re seeing on LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com are indicative of a fresh attack by the Enemy. He is seeking to take young women out with the aftershocks of porn addiction, and he is succeeding. When the spiritual battle heats up, it’s time to draw our swords. One of our greatest offensive weapons is prayer.

I’m setting aside the entire month of September to pray about this issue. Would you join me?

2. Go on the offensive

The availability of the Internet is the number one contributing factor to the rabid spread of porn. So, let’s take our fight to where the battle is already being waged. Will you use your Facebook, blogs, and Twitter feeds to spread the word about this issue?

Here are links to some great articles to get the conversation started:

• When Children View Pornography from Focus on the Family
• Strategies For Fighting Sexual Sin by John Piper
• Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted To Internet Porn And Video Games from Desiring God
• Sexual Purity: The Joy of Moral Freedom from Revive Our Hearts

3. Talk to the Next Generation

I know I already asked you to speak to the young women in your world in yesterday’s post, but we mommas know how to make sure things get done. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Please, make it a point to talk to the young women in your world about the dangers of porn. The chances are sky high that she will be exposed to it early and repeatedly. Just one exposure can take her down a terrible path in the absence of someone to lovingly speak God’s Truth and stand up against the pervasive lies of culture about sex. If porn usage and addiction is going to decline (instead of continuing to rise) we must help future victims armor up.

Who can you start that conversation with?

Catch Josh McDowell and Nancy today and tomorrow on Revive Our Hearts as they discuss how (and when) to talk to your children about sex as well as how to help them deal with temptation.

Did you know Truewoman.com has a little sister blog at LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com? It’s a site much like this one targeted at young women (mostly high school and college aged) with the goal of identifying lies and replacing them with God’s Truth.

Young women have a secret. They’re addicted to porn.

I have the privilege of running that blog, and the 30,000+ young women who visit there every month are a passion of mine. I often say that if I could, I’d put their pictures on my refrigerator (that would be a big fridge!). These are great girls who love the Lord and want to know how He calls them to live.

But they’ve got a secret. They’re addicted to porn.

They write to us about their sin, their secrets, and their shame. Here are their actual words:

“I am someone who struggles with porn, and I’m a female. How can I beat this struggle? There doesn’t seem to be help for females struggling with porn. What should I do? I don’t want to tell anyone because it’s embarrassing, and people would judge me.”

“I am also a female who struggles with the temptations of porn . . . I try to stay away from the temptations, but I always seem to go back to it. I feel guilty, and I want to be free from this sin. I feel sick about it.”

“I became a Christian recently, but before that I struggled with porn and masturbating. I still struggle . . . I have repented of it many times, told God I’m sorry and that I will do better, but I just can’t stop! I’m at my wits end, and I can’t tell my mom. Please give me some advice and pray for me!!!!!!!!”

Comments like these used to trickle in at a rate of one or two per month, but lately they’ve come in an avalanche. Every single day we hear from a young woman who is addicted to porn—and often porn’s lustful sidekick, masturbation.

Why am I telling you this?

Because these girls are your daughters, your nieces, and your neighbors. They are sitting beside you week after week in church, terrified that someone will find them out. They wear shame like a blanket. It covers them and tells them they must stay hidden, no one can know, no one will understand.

And because they do not tell, they are not free. James 5:16 gives us the anti-venom to the kind of sin that makes us sick:

“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. They prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

While it’s true that only God can forgive our sins, it’s also true that there’s tremendous power in confessing our sin to each other. Those of us with a few more years under our belt may already know this secret, but young women don’t seem to. They’re so afraid to disappoint us that they refuse to tell. The pull of porn is so strong that they cannot find victory on their own, and so they stay trapped in the cage of sin and shame.

Ask God to use you to help free those young women who are held captive by porn in your world.

I love those girls too much to leave them there. I’m determined to pry them out of the cage that porn creates, but I can’t do it on my own. I need your help. I need you to talk to your daughters and neighbors and nieces about porn. No doubt, it’s likely to be an awkward conversation, but the stakes are too high to keep avoiding it. And I need you to keep talking. Our culture offers plenty of “teachable moments” to talk about porn. Seize them!

Would you be willing to ask God to use you to help free those young women who are held captive by porn in your world? It’s not a mission for the faint of heart, but one I’m afraid we can’t avoid much longer.

Let’s be True Women by taking a stand against the Enemy in this area and fighting for those younger than us who have fallen into porn’s painful pit.

After reading Erin’s post, catch Yvonne Welch’s story, “Healing From Bitterness,” today through Wednesday on Revive Our Hearts.

As I write these words, I am nine months pregnant. Those of you who have been there know that is a very “fleshy” season of life. That’s true in a very literal sense (I’m talking to you, extra large maternity pants!), but I’ve also found it to be true in a spiritual sense.

When our flesh creeps into the driver’s seat, we need to ask God to intervene so His Spirit can rule.

All the focus on the physical that is a natural part of pregnancy (“I’m so tired,” “My feet are so swollen,” “I need two scoops of ice cream STAT!”) has unfortunately translated into a season where I am extra fleshy in my walk with the Lord. In this season, I’ve learned to pray this simple prayer daily: “Lord, let your Spirit rule over my flesh today.”

You don’t have to be pregnant to experience this fleshiness. In fact, catering to our flesh is something the Bible warns us against often. In Matthew 26:41 Jesus was frank about the internal tug of war between our flesh and our spirits:

“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Paul wrote about doing battle with his flesh in Romans 7, proving that even the superheroes of the faith get fleshy if they didn’t watch it. In Romans 8:5 Paul wrote that there are really only two options for each of us: we can live according to the flesh, or we can live according to the Sprit. We can’t do both at the same time.

Romans 8:8 gives us the most dire warning concerning our flesh:

“Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

Gulp!

I want to please God, don’t you? And since indulging my flesh makes it impossible to please God, I need to be on guard for those times when I am letting my flesh rule me and seek to be more Spirit-led.

With that in mind, I’ve learned to be on the lookout for signs that my flesh is ruling the roost. I’ve turned those signs into a little “feeling fleshy” assessment below. Let me encourage you to take the test yourself, and ask God to reveal pockets of fleshiness in your own life.

Feeling Fleshy?

1. Do you find it nearly impossible to control your appetite for things like food, affirmation, or stuff, or do you find that with the Lord’s help, you are able to have regular victories over the things you most crave?
2. Do you have to regularly force yourself to pray and read the Bible, or do you genuinely enjoy nurturing your Spirit in this way?
3. Do you have a near constant desire to be entertained through things like your iPhone or TV, or are you okay with moments of quiet and reflection?
4. Is serving others a chore or a delight to you?
5. Do you find that you often “replay the tapes” of conflicts and disappointments with others, or are you able to readily forgive and let things go?
6. Does going to church feel like an obligation or
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7. Are your emotions ruling you (including anger, sadness, or frustration), or are you able to choose contentment?
8. Do you feel dependent on others to be “okay,” or do you have a general feeling of security and peace?
9. When it comes to sin, do you more often experience defeat or victory?
10. Would a hard look at your schedule reveal you are most concerned with Kingdom priorities or earthly priorities?

The first statement in each question should send off alarm bells that your flesh rules in that area. The second statement is an indication that the Spirit has greater control. Obviously, these things aren’t black and white. That’s why Jesus spoke about the tug of war between the flesh and the Spirit.

We will go back and forth between the two, sometimes daily and sometimes hourly. Only Jesus was able to master living by the Spirit at all times, so we need to heed His advice to “watch and pray.” When our flesh creeps into the driver’s seat, we need to ask God to intervene so His Spirit can rule.

In what areas of your life do you recognize the tug of war between the flesh and the Spirit? What can you do the next time you’re feeling fleshy?

Fact: You are either heading out of the wilderness, or you are heading into it.

My pastor, Tim Cook, recently preached a killer sermon about Jesus’ time in the wilderness. I was struck by his description of the wilderness where Jesus was led and tempted. Tim told us the wilderness described in Matthew 4 was the area that surrounded the Dead Sea. It was thirty-five miles long and fifteen miles wide with almost no drinkable water. Because of this, birds were known to drop out of the sky dead mid-flight if they attempted to cross the wilderness. The ancient Jews called this spot “The Devastation.”

This nickname alone provides tremendous context for the forty days and forty nights Jesus spent in the wilderness. This wasn’t a serene camping trip. It wasn’t a personal retreat. Jesus’ time in “The Devastation” was a time of anguishing trials. When we see this story correctly, we are more able to apply the example of Jesus to our own lives the next time we find ourselves in the wilderness of devastation.

Rapid fire, here are five big lessons Matthew 4 teaches us about The Devastation:

1. The Wilderness Often Comes After A Victory.

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matt. 3:17).

These are the words God the Father spoke just before Jesus was led into the wilderness. Jesus was baptized and the heavens literally opened up. The Spirit of God came down like a dove, and God’s voice boomed approval from heaven. Talk about a spiritual high! But in a heartbeat, Jesus was led into the wilderness where He faced forty days of intense trial.

We like to think of our spiritual lives as a steady climb up a predictable hill. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually we will summit, having “arrived” at the apex of what it means to follow Christ.

But the reality is there will be very high highs, often followed by very low lows. God is God, and we are called to be faithful at both elevations.

2. Sometimes, God Chooses the Wilderness for Us.

Matthew 4:1 says, “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.”

God didn’t simply allow the wilderness. He chose it. It was according to His plan and by His leading that Jesus entered The Devastation.

We don’t like to think that God would ever choose suffering for us, but it is so important to know that God is sovereign, even in The Devastation. He isn’t surprised when we end up there. He didn’t fall down on the job, resulting in our suffering. Sometimes He simply allows suffering, and sometimes, as was the case in the life of His Son, He chooses it because it is for our good.

3. The Tempter Thrives in the Wilderness.

Jesus hadn’t been in The Devastation long before the Enemy seized the opportunity to strike. Matthew 4:3 records,

“The tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’”

When we face periods of tremendous loss or disappointment, we are especially vulnerable to the lies of the Devil. He would like nothing better than to convince us that God is not really good, or that He doesn’t really love us, that His promises are not really true, or that He’s not there at all when we face seasons of pain. If you are in the wilderness now, learn to recognize the lies of the Tempter.

4. You Need God’s Word To Survive the Wilderness.

Every time Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, he quoted Scripture. Like a broken record, when Satan came at Him with a lie, Jesus responded with, “It is written.”

The Bible tells us that God’s Word is the antidote to our sin (Ps. 119:11). When the armor of God is described in Eph. 6:10–18, the Word of God is listed as our sword. In other words, it is our only offensive weapon.

God’s Word can shore you up, get you through, and help you win big battles. The kicker is you must study God’s Word when you’re not in the wilderness in order to have the right weapons in your arsenal when The Devastation comes.

5. The Path Through the Wilderness Leads to the Kingdom.

Immediately after Jesus’ time in the wilderness, my Bible adds this little notation: “Jesus Begins His Ministry.” Jesus walked out of The Devastation and straight into life-transforming, kingdom-building, culture-shaking ministry. God has a habit of taking our seasons of loss and turning them into big gains for the Kingdom.

If you are in The Devastation right now, grab on to God’s promise that He will redeem it (Rom. 8:28), hold on with both hands, and look forward to what God will build on your time in The Devastation.

Would you describe this season of life as The Devastation? Do you sometimes feel like you may not make it across without dropping dead? Consider the lessons Jesus teaches from the wilderness and take hope.

As I read the Gospels, one fact is undeniable to me—Jesus valued people. Over and over He allowed Himself to be stopped, inconvenienced, and used by the people around Him.

There was the time He retreated to a mountain hideout for some much needed rest only to be chased down by a crowd of needy seekers. What did Jesus do? He healed them. Then there was the time He was literally on his way to heal a sick girl when another woman grabbed His robe and got His attention. He stopped and tended to her need. There was the time He went way out of His way to heal a demon-possessed man that others saw as a lost cause. Oh, and there were the children Jesus urged to come to Him even though they seemed to pull Him away from His many ministry responsibilities . . .

To be honest, the fact that Jesus always seemed to make time for others doesn’t always sit well with me. That’s because valuing people isn’t one of my strong suits. I tend to elevate tasks and schedules and crossing items off of my to-do lists. These things fit nicely into the boxes I draw for how I want my life to look. In contrast, valuing people requires much of my time and energy. It’s often messy. It rarely sticks to a schedule.

Valuing people means adopting an overt willingness to be inconvenienced. It means doing things that cannot be measured. It means developing relationships based on who people really are and not who we want them to be.

My son, Eli, had a meltdown recently because we had other families over to our house, and they messed up his room. Just that morning he had spent hours making his room neat and tidy. I was trying to explain the value of sharing, friendship, and hospitality (this writer momma can be a little wordy!) when my husband simply said, “Son, people are more important than our stuff.”

Bingo!

That’s what valuing people looks like. It means accepting a dirty house because people have been loved, cared for, and entertained within the walls of your home. It means accepting a schedule in flux because you are determined to make time for others whenever necessary. It means considering the tasks on your to-do list less important than the people you’re doing them for. It means measuring success through relationships—not how neat and tidy your life looks.

I’ve got much to learn in this area, but I recognize that at the end of my life I want people to say I lived like Jesus—that means I must value people. As I’ve urged the Lord to grow me in this area, I’ve asked myself these questions. Ask them of yourself and consider this: Do I value people?

1. When someone calls me unexpectedly, do I accept their call or call them back ASAP or ignore them because I’m in the middle of something “more important?”
2. At the end of the day, do I measure my value by a) what I was able to accomplish, or b) who I was able to love well?
3. For you mommas . . . when your children ask you to play with them, do you usually do it, or do you usually dismiss them because you have laundry to do, dishes to wash, and dinner to cook?
4. Do I have time set aside when I “do ministry” (such as teach Sunday school or lead a Bible study), or am I willing to minister to others whenever the opportunity arises?
5. Do I make a habit of going out of my way for others?

We are unlikely to value others as freely and often as Jesus did, but we should pay close attention to the fact that He lived like people were important to Him (because they are!). To be more like Him, we must do the hard work to follow His example.

Do you live like people matter? What’s one thing you can do today to be more like Christ in this area?

“Loose lips sink ships.” They also have a way of sinking entire families. Don’t believe me? Just ask Zeresh or Potiphar’s wife or the many wives of Solomon.

These were wives who did not hold their tongues. They are wives who whispered unwise words into the ears of their husbands. As a result, they are wives who watched their husbands lose fortunes, favor, and even their lives. Here are their stories . . .

Solomon’s Wives
Solomon started out as a man zealous for the Lord. As a result, God blessed his socks off (1 Kings 4:29–34), but Solomon eventually turned to false gods. What led him astray? Was it his wealth? His power? His celebrity status? Nope. It was his wives. 1 Kings 11:3–4 records,

“He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after others gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God.”

Solomon’s wives encouraged him to turn away from God. Solomon listened. As a result God tore his kingdom from him (1 Kings 11:31).

Potiphar’s Wife
Potiphar’s wife was a pot stirrer. She liked to cause drama, and she liked to draw her husband into the fray. In Genesis 39 she famously tried to entice Joseph to sleep with her. When he refused she lied to her husband, stirred things up, and pushed her husband’s hot buttons. We all know Joseph was imprisoned as a result, but Potiphar may have endured a worse blow. In Genesis 39:5 we read that it was because of Joseph’s presence that Potiphar’s home was so blessed. We can assume that when Joseph was gone, so was God’s favor. Potiphar’s wife blocked God’s blessings with her scheming.

Haman’s Wife, Zeresh
Zeresh’s story is truly a cautionary tale. Her husband was Haman, the chief official of King Ahasuerus. The more famous wife in this story is Esther, the king’s wife who saved her people from annihilation. Sadly, Zeresh did not play such an honorable or admirable role. Esther 5:14 records,

“Then his wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, ‘Let a gallows fifty cubits high be made, and in the morning tell the king to have Mordecai hanged upon it. Then go joyfully with the king to the feast.’”

Zeresh was encouraging her man to make a power grab (after all he deserved it!). As he confessed his frustration with Mordecai, she fed the flames and urged him to do something about it. She stroked his ego and said what he wanted to hear. Haman liked her idea and ran with it, but Zeresh had dished out bad advice. Haman was hung on the very gallows his wife encouraged him to build (Esther 7:10).

These are not happy marriage tales. There are no happily ever afters here, but there is a theme we should pay attention to. In each story, a husband made a disastrous decision (or a series of disastrous decisions). His choices were his own, and he faced the consequences God dealt him. But in each case, there was a wife in the wings encouraging her man to do wrong. The woman (or women) behind each great man failed to speak wise words and then had to watch as their husbands fell hard.

Then There’s You . . .
Lean in, listen close ladies. Your husband listens to what you say. So do your sons and the other men in your circle of influence. I realize this may not always feel like it’s true. I know there are times you feel you repeat yourself constantly or that the men in your life just tune you out, but it’s more likely that your words are having a huge impact. Eventually, those words are likely to translate into actions. With that truth in mind, it is important for us to evaluate what we say and make sure it is wise, helpful, encouraging, and a right reflection of who God wants our men to be.

This is not an easy thing to do. It requires us to weigh our words and make sure they are worth saying. Sometimes it requires us to keep our mouth shut. It also requires us to avoid the landmines stepped on by the women I mentioned above. We must:

• Avoid tugging his heart toward something other than the Lord.
• Resist the urge to stir the pot.
• Ditch the desire to stroke his ego or push his buttons for a reaction.
• Stay calm when he is riled up or angry with others.
• Steer clear of the temptation to encourage him to grab power or position outside of the Lord’s timing.

For both men and women, our words have tremendous power. They can motivate others to live more like Christ or be exactly the push they need to make choices that are less than God-honoring. With that sobering reality in mind, consider how you talk to the men in your world and ask yourself these questions:

• Do I think about what I say before I say it?
• Do my words encourage and equip toward righteousness?
• Am I a wife and a mother who encourages wise or foolish action?

I had a toddler at home and a baby in my belly. Most days I was crippled by pregnancy symptoms that made it difficult to put one foot in front of the other.

Can you think of a time when your circumstances were tough? Freeze-frame that memory in your mind for a moment. We’ll come back to it.

I had told some friends at church that I was struggling. Many of them looked at me sweetly and offered a genuine, although not very helpful hug or shoulder squeeze. While it is true that none of them could do anything about my exhaustion, nausea, or fear, I was desperate for someone to do something, anything, to help me.

And then a sweet lady in my church did. She called me late one evening and extended a strange invitation, “When you and Eli get up in the morning, come over in your jammies. I will make you pancakes.”

I could have said no. I could have been too embarrassed to show up sporting my morning look of messy hair and mismatched pajamas. I could have kept my mask of perfection firmly glued on my make-up free face. But the pull of a breakfast I didn’t have to cook on dishes I didn’t have to wash was too much for me. The result was a steaming pile of pancakes loaded with butter and maple syrup, and a morning of ministry to my heart that filled me back up when I was empty.

That was the day I learned about the ministry of pancakes. I’m not talking in code here, not offering some deep theological truth. I’m simply saying we can be a balm to the hurting, the lonely, the sick, and the desperate through the simple gift of

a hot breakfast. It’s an idea we can trace straight back to Jesus.

In John 21, we find the disciples fishing. Jesus had appeared to the disciples once after His resurrection and then presumably disappeared. Likely more as a coping method than a fish-finding mission, the disciples returned to what they knew: the lake, the boat, the fishing nets worn through with familiarity.

And then in John 21:9, we read that the disciples returned to shore one morning to find the Savior with a fire already burning, fish cooking, and bread ready to eat. “Come have breakfast,” he said (v. 12).

Now, I’ll take a steaming stack of pancakes over a fish breakfast any day, but the fact remains that Jesus tenderly reached out to His hurting and confused disciples through a simple, hot breakfast. Over that breakfast He confirmed His love, clarified their calling, and gave them a chance to clear the air.

In the midst of that He had an interesting conversation with Peter:

“Peter, do you love me?”

“Lord, you can see my heart. You know everything. You know that I love you.”

“Feed my sheep.”

That conversation was layered and private. I wouldn’t begin to try to figure out everything that was said (and unsaid) between Peter and Jesus. But I’ve always thought “Feed my sheep” could be translated this way—prove that you love me by taking care of my flock.

The super spiritual version of that means we are to feed others truth. Peter went on to pastor the Church. He did a lot of lamb feeding that had nothing to do with food. But what if we can boil Jesus’ words down to their simplest possible definition? What if we can love Jesus well by feeding others?

Think back to that hard time I asked you to freeze-frame in your mind. What would a stack of pancakes cooked by a caring friend have meant to you in that season? What would a hot breakfast prepared by loving hands have done for your soul? With that in mind, how could the ministry of pancakes bless someone in your world? How could you be like Jesus this week by simply offering to make someone breakfast?

I suppose those questions could stay rhetorical, but I’d rather they didn’t. I would rather you make a commitment to minister to someone in need through the practical step of cooking them breakfast.

I can’t make that phone call for you or run to your local grocery store to pick up the necessary supplies, but I can take out some guesswork.

Let me know how it goes!

My Very Favorite Buttermilk Pancake Recipe

3 cups flour
3 tablespoons sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1½ teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon salt
3 cups buttermilk
½ cup milk
3 eggs
1/3 cup melted butter

In a large bowl mix dry ingredients. In a separate bowl mix wet ingredients. Blend and drop onto a hot griddle.

Catch “Encouraging Your Husband to Lead” today on Revive Our Hearts for a very practical discussion about the ways wives can encourage strength and leadership in their husbands.

Inspired by a great series written by True Woman’s own Paula Hendricks on the beatitudes for the Lies Young Women Believe blog, I’ve been studying Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 5 for several weeks. (What can I say; I’m a bit of a slow learner!) Last week, my studies took me to Matthew 5:7,

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

It is perhaps one of the simplest formulas in all of Scripture. If we show mercy, we get mercy. Easy as that. Mercy means to show compassion to; to bear with; to be lenient toward. I certainly want God to show compassion toward me and to be lenient toward my sin (even though I deserve punishment). Jesus makes it clear that if I want mercy, I better make a habit of dishing it out.

We all like to think of ourselves as merciful, but I had a hunch Jesus didn’t include this statement to make a rhetorical point. Maybe I needed the reminder to practice showing mercy.

With that thought in mind, I decided to ask the Lord who I was not being merciful to. The answer came into my heart in a single beat.

“Your husband.”

Come again, Lord?

“You are not merciful to your husband.”

As I mulled it over, I realized God was right (of course). I am so quick to point out my husband’s shortcomings, so eager to talk to Jason about what he has done wrong. It is so rare for me to offer him slack or to be forbearing toward those habits which I find annoying or frustrating.

Here’s a simple example. In our house, taking out the trash is Jason’s job. He has a little habit of waiting until not another sliver of paper can fit into the can. I could ignore his choice to let the trash overflow. I could take the trash out myself. I could kindly say something like, “Honey, could you please take the trash out?”

But I rarely do. I huff and puff and mention that the trash is overflowing again and that I had to remind him again.

My expressed annoyance may get the trash removed, but it doesn’t demonstrate mercy. Instead, I show my tendency to want to pounce on everything I think my man is doing wrong.

Any wives out there thinking of their own overflowing trash cans right about now? Or the fact that you point it out every single time he comes home a little late for dinner?

Maybe it’s your children you aren’t merciful toward. Do you take every opportunity to point out what they’ve done wrong? Are you quick to remind them of messy rooms or backpacks off the hook, or do you default to loving leniency?

How about your co-workers? Do they have the freedom to mess up, or do you look for reasons to pin them to the wall?

Jesus’ words are a simple formula for all our relationships and interactions. If we want to receive mercy (and we do!) for the many times we miss the mark, fall short, or screw up, we must make a practice of showing mercy to those around us. Even when they make the same mistakes over and over again.

So, let me encourage you to pray the same prayer I prayed after reading Matthew 5:7.

“Jesus, who am I not showing mercy to?”

Listen. And ask Him to give you the strength to extend mercy more often.  

From baseball season to fantasy football leagues, sports are tightly woven into the fabric of our culture. Since this is a blog for women, I may not be writing to many die-hard sports fans or professional players, but that doesn’t necessarily mean sports aren’t playing a major role in your life and the rhythm of your family.

A Huffington post article, The Final Four, Travel Teams and Empty Pews, recently asked the question, “Who is winning the competition between sports and religion?” Until I read it, I wasn’t consciously aware that sports and faith had stepped into the same ring, but the numbers I read concerned me:

• In a study of sixteen declining congregations in the U.S. and Canada, the number one reason cited by clergy and church members for failing attendance was the “secularization of Sunday.” Many church members cited their kids’ sports as being the most critical factor.
• More than 1/3 of congregants in a separate study said school and sports-related activities was “quite a bit of an issue” when considering their church attendance.
• About 2/3 of “Easter Christians” polled said they attend church only twice a year because they are too busy with other commitments including kids’ sports programs.  

Shouldn’t someone throw the flag here? Isn’t it time we notice that sports are pulling Christians out of the pews? There is bound to be a ripple effect. Church isn’t just something we do. Church is the artery that pumps blood to so much that is necessary to run the race of faith well. Soccer games and baseball practices are not a good substitute.

The article held up those church leaders who are scrambling to respond to this trend by adding sports programs of their own, creating additional service times, etc. If churches are reaching people for Christ with these methods, I say, “Go team!” But I think it’s important to throw the ball back into the parents’ court and ask a bold question. Do our kids really need to be involved in sports?

Lets think it through for a moment:

• What do our children really learn through sports involvement?
• What do our families really gain by enrolling our children in organized sports activities?
• What is really on the line when our kids miss a lot of church or our family doesn’t attend church together because of sports?

The answers to these questions need to be squeezed through the grid of God’s Word, not just our personal preferences. What is the purpose of parenting anyway? What should be the priority for our families?

I believe as parents we are called to do more than just raise good kids. Our mission is to make disciples. We also need to work hard to show them how to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” (Matt. 6:33). We must teach them how to make God their most important priority.

Can God be your highest priority if you play sports? Sure. I’m not talking about some legalistic line in the sand that asks all Christians to choose between sports and Jesus. But I would like Christian parents to join me in considering whether our children’s activities are contributing to discipleship or simply to busyness.

What does this look like practically? Does it mean all Christians must sit the bench? I don’t think so.

At our house it means we allow our son to play one sport in one league, and we vigilantly guard Sundays so they’re activity-free. Sports still occupy two nights per week for a span of a few months, which applies plenty of pressure to our family calendar. Would my son like to play more? Yes. But we are not willing to divvy up the time and energy that would require.

My little guys are little. I realize that makes me a bit of an armchair quarterback on this issue, but it’s less about rules and more about establishing a family priority. I hesitate to put the cart before the horse and predict what we will do in future parenting seasons, but we plan to fight hard against allowing sports to play too big a role in the lives of our children or family.

More and more leagues are being offered, more and more practices scheduled, more and more pressure applied to our children to excel in sports for one simple reason: there is a demand for these things. If we as Christian parents called a colossal time out and re-evaluated our involvement, it might make a difference in the bigger picture. It might not. But it would certainly make a difference in our children, our families, and our churches.

So, whaddya say parents? Shall we pull out the playbook of God’s Word and hold up our family schedules to it? Shall we stop going along with the sports-crazy crowd and dare to ask if raising good soccer players might be competing with raising sold-out disciples?

It’s a course that might not win us any parenting trophies in our sports-crazy world, but Paul seemed to have known that was coming when he gave us this important thought to consider (utilizing sports language no less!):

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.” (1 Cor. 9:24–25)  

Does your family calendar reflect that you are seeking a perishable or an imperishable crown?

There’s not a potted plant pretty enough to say all that needs to be said to you. There’s not a Hallmark card sweet enough to sum up our gratitude.

Mommas, you are the warriors of our world. You are equal parts soft and strong. You are paramedics, nutritionists, comforters, counselors, personal shoppers and chefs, teachers, and principals. You are life-givers and life-enrichers. Let’s face it, without you we’d all have candy for breakfast and stomach aches by lunchtime. We would feel lost in this big, scary world, but you tether us to the soft edges of home. You guide, instruct, nurture, and pray.

And all of this even though your job is often thankless. There is always one more load of laundry to fold. One more crisis to resolve. One more meal to cook. Being a mother means a lifetime of work that seems small but adds up to big stakes in the lives of your children (and their children, and their children . . .).

I know, because I’m a momma too. Because every single day I have a brief moment where I consider faking the flu so I can stay in bed and let the inmates go ahead and run the asylum. Because I know motherhood is the toughest job I will ever do, and there are no guarantees that all that effort will translate into the fantasy family in my head. Because I know our culture doesn’t get it and doesn’t esteem motherhood anymore, making our work feel even more unnoticed and unappreciated.

Because of all this, and more, I didn’t want to miss the chance to be the balm your tired mom feet may need. Or rather, to let God’s Word do that work for me:

“‘I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him saying, ‘Lord, when did you see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” (Matt. 25:36–40)

Clothing little bodies. Putting cold washcloths on warm foreheads. Making endless plates of mac n’ cheese. Creating a home that says, “You’re welcome here any time.” Gassing up the car again to visit children and grandchildren in far away places. It doesn’t go unnoticed, momma. And the ripple effect of your efforts to mother go far beyond your children. Look past the “least of these” in your world, and see that your service and sacrifice has Kingdom implications.

You don’t have to work to be noticed, because Jesus already sees all you do. Your prize isn’t just a great Mother’s Day gift or a fancy brunch. It’s knowing your life is a living demonstration that sacrifice is worth it, that love doesn’t have to be earned, and that living for more than ourselves is worth every mess, stretch mark, and sleepless night.

So moms everywhere, I salute you—but you don’t need my props. Your work is God-honoring and eternal. The treasures you are storing up will outlast this Mother’s Day (and the next one, and the next one . . .).

Your family is a gift, momma, and your thank-you card has already been delivered through God’s Word. Press in to the One who gave them to you, and press on!

PS: Need to be encouraged in your role as a mom? Take our 30-Day Mom Makeover here.

PPS: Get my eBook, Beyond Bath Time, for just $1.99 through May 15.

I pen these words a few days after a bomber took out an eight-year-old as he waited for his dad to cross the finish line of the Boston marathon. There’s not a single day I drop my son off at preschool that I don’t think about Sandy Hook and have to fight the urge to do a U-turn in the school parking lot, bring him home, and lock all the doors. Then there are super viruses, bacterial infections, and childhood cancers. It’s enough to make me want to say this desperate prayer all day, every day, “Jesus, keep my kids safe. Jesus, keep my kids safe. JESUS, PLEASE KEEP MY KIDS SAFE!”

But our kids aren’t growing up in a safe world. In fact, no child ever has.

It’s natural to want our children to be protected from harm, but lately I’ve been thinking that when we spend all our energy praying for our children to be safe, we are missing something big. We are asking God to be our children’s safety net. Is it possible that instead He wants to call them to something dangerous?

This is how Jesus taught us to pray:

“And [Jesus] said to them, ‘When you pray, say:

‘Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.’” (Luke 11:2–4)

Jesus doesn’t teach us to avoid asking for needs to be met. “Daily bread” represents the essentials of life. Health and safety certainly qualify. But asking for those things wasn’t the essence of His prayer. His focus was on the Father’s will.

The words “your kingdom come” slay me when I think about praying for my children. I spend so much of my time praying for my kingdom. I am supposed to be praying for His.

With God’s kingdom in mind, is safe the most important thing for my kids to be? When I look hard at the life God calls us to as Christians, the answer is clearly no. The Christian life is not a safe life. It is a call to live counter-culturally and to willingly engage in battles that are big and costly.

Ephesians 6:12 offers this perspective:

“We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

We want our children to follow Christ, but that likely won’t lead to an easy, safe life. It means they will need to pick up their cross. It means they will need to lay down their lives. It means they will become warriors in battles against the “spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” It means they won’t always be “safe.”  

I have a friend who has often prayed this prayer for me:

“Jesus, make Erin and her family dangerous to the Enemy.”

Dangerous? It’s the opposite of safe. But the truth is no matter how much we wish it wasn’t so, there is no guarantee of safety in this world. And while it may temporarily soothe our anxiety to beg the Lord to hide our kids from all threats of harm, there is a better prayer we can be praying:

“Lord, make my child dangerous to the Enemy.”

It’s a prayer that may not wrap us up in comfort like begging the Lord to keep our kids safe has a tendency to do. It is a bigger prayer with bigger implications than a safety net can ever offer. But decades from now, after I am long gone and my kids come to the end of their own lives, if I’m honest, I hope they won’t have played it safe. I hope they will have given everything they have to further God’s kingdom. I hope others will see they were a serious threat to those spiritual forces of evil. As their momma, prayer is a huge part of my job, so I’m resolved to pray for more than safety. Yes, I want them to be protected, but even more than that, I want them to be dangerous.

Will you join me in praying for God to make our kids a generation that is especially dangerous to the Enemy?

Moms, join Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Hannah Keeley for tonight’s online Mom Mastery Summit. Catch this great interview on Lies Women Believe at 7 p.m. on MomMasterySummit.com.

Uncle Sam is very, very mad at me. At least that’s my assumption based on the massive tax bill he slammed on my husband and me this year. When the tax man delivered the bad news, I initially felt panic, but as this day (the day when all taxes are due) approached, I started seeing the unexpected financial blow as a blessing. Yep, a blessing.

Here are a few things I’ve learned (or re-learned) this tax season.

1. God is my provider.

Genesis 22:14 says, “So Abraham called the name of that place, ‘The LORD will provide’, as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of the LORD it shall be provided.’”

Some translations insert a name of God into this passage, Jehovah-jireh, meaning the Lord provides. In Numbers 11:23, God Himself illustrates the same point after the Israelites had been grumbling that they didn’t have what they needed:

“The LORD said to Moses, ‘Is the LORD’s hand shortened? Now you shall see whether my word will come true for you or not.’”

This image here is of a God with short arms, too short to reach down and provide for the needs of His people. But God does not have short arms. In fact, His arms are long enough to reach into my needs and your needs and the needs of people around the world. He is a capable and willing Provider. I can doubt that if I want to, or I can stand back and watch as God’s promise to provide comes true for me.

I was talking to a friend about this recently, and she said that she always reminds herself that she’s never met an older person who’s said, “Well, there was that one time when God didn’t provide.” Good word!

He is faithful. He can be trusted. Providing is part of His nature.

God has provided for us in miraculous ways in this season of financial stretching. It wasn’t until I was very aware of my needs that I had the clarity to look around for all He has done for me rather than depending on what I could earn for myself.

2. I am called to ridiculous giving.

In the midst of this season of financial strain, we have had more opportunities than usual to give to others. It hasn’t made sense. No financial planner or money expert would advise us to give more to others when our finances are strapped and yet, each time we’ve given, the money has been returned to us in some way.

Paul writes about this mystery in 2 Corinthians 8. He is bragging on the churches of Macedonia who gave generously despite their “extreme poverty.” In fact, Paul was clear that they gave “beyond their means” and God multiplied it for Kingdom gains.

Deuteronomy 15:10 addresses giving to the poor and says,

“You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake.”

We tend to think of giving as something that’s optional once all the bills are paid, but God wants us to give to others often and with happy hearts, even when it stretches us. I can tell you from recent experience that opportunities for sacrificial giving are a gift.

3. Dependence is a Good Thing!

I’ve frequently heard Nancy Leigh DeMoss say, “Anything that causes us to depend on Christ is a good thing.”

When the bank account is full, when bills are easy to pay, when we’ve got a two-month emergency fund, our human nature is always to coast a bit. But when we are squeezed financially or in other ways (spiritually, emotionally, relationally), suddenly we are reminded how much we need the Lord. This is a blessing because when we are reminded of our need, we have the opportunity to cling to Him. John 15:4–5 says,

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

I’m just a branch. A branch that is severed from the vine is ultimately useless. I need this reminder from time to time. Self-sufficiency is a beast I must fight hard against. So, whatever it is that causes me to cling is a good thing.

So, thank you Uncle Sam. You are an able teacher. I am grateful for the reminders you’ve given me this year (and thankful to see April 15 come and go on my calendar!).

How about you? Are you facing unexpected hardships? Financial burdens that seem impossible? Circumstances that feel hopeless? If so, I hope tax day can remind you what it’s reminded me: God is an able provider, He calls me to ridiculous giving (even when it seems impossible!), and anything that causes me to cling to Him is a good thing!

Yesterday, I began a dialogue about so-called “same-sex marriage” by examining the facts of two cases currently being debated in the Supreme Court. You likely didn’t need to be reminded this is an important issue, but let’s take a hard look at what’s really at stake.

The two cases the Supreme Court is debating have the combined power to radically alter the legal definition of marriage. We may want marriage to stay defined as the union between one man and one woman for lots of reasons . . . tradition, comfort, affirmation of our lifestyle. But it’s important for us to know much more is on the line. Ephesians 5:28–32 says,

“In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (emphasis mine).

From a biblical standpoint, at the heart of our understanding of marriage is that it was designed to be a picture of Christ’s relationship with His bride, the church. Ultimately, it’s not about loving who we want to love or living how we want to live as much as it’s about putting the great mystery of Christ’s passionate love for His bride on display.

Right now the courts believe it’s their job to adjudicate the legal definition of marriage. Regardless of where the courts land on this, it’s the church’s job to protect the picture. We make great gains in this area when we guard our own marriages diligently and refuse to let the idea seep into our thinking that marriage is essentially a contract that can be re-written or broken, or that it is about our personal happiness. Which leads me to three action steps:

Action step #1: View marriage as a picture of Christ and the church.

We need to make sure our stance is rooted in protecting the essence and definition of marriage presented in the Word, because that definition has something to teach us all about God’s love.

Action step #2: Love homosexuals well.

I could just as easily say love “all sinners” well–whatever the nature of their dominant sin patterns. The principle applies across the board, but we seem to have a hard time as the church truly loving homosexuals, and we’ve done some collateral damage as a result.

The story found in John 8:1–11 is great homework for this point. In this passage, Jesus encounters a woman embroiled in sexual sin. Clearly, her lifestyle didn’t match up with God’s standards for holiness. Jesus didn’t ignore that, but He first stood in front of her as an advocate while the crowd clamored for punishment. He did say, “Go and sin no more,” but not until after she had been introduced to the Savior in love.

We won’t win the homosexual argument in court cases or scathing blog posts. The Gospel is the only hope we have for hearts to be made new. Those who embrace a homosexual agenda or lifestyle may not be persauded by our agenda or point of view. But there is still a God in heaven who can transform lives with His irresistible grace. 

A true story makes this point well. It’s about a lesbian English professor who encountered a pastor and his wife who simply loved her well. They didn’t try to get her to change her lifestyle. They didn’t rail at her with those verses against homosexuality I listed yesterday. They did love her, extend hospitality to her in their home, pray for her, live out God’s Truth, and patiently engage her heart and mind over an extended period of time, as the Spirit was drawing her to Jesus.

The answer to this issue, and all issues where the culture moves against God’s Truth, is revival. We need hearts changed by the Gospel, not more people who agree with us on laws and court cases. Speaking of revival . . .

Action step #3: Pray about what’s happening in our culture. Ask God to intervene.

Here’s a verse quoted so often that we tend to gloss over its power:

“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” (2 Chron. 7:14)

Our divided land certainly needs healing, but the deepest changes we need will not come through legislation or public policy. Prayer is not our only work. But we have no more vital work as Christians than to pray. And no other work is likely to have its desired results until we first cry out to Him in prayer. Let’s start praying for God to move. And let’s keep praying until He does. 

The culture is shifting away from a biblical worldview at pell-mell speed. Research persistently indicates that people are leaving the church in droves. Of those of us who remain in the church, fewer and fewer look to the Bible as the source of Truth. What’s happening in the courts and in the arena of public opinion is a byproduct of a bigger problem: people desperately need God and His Truth in their lives.

So let’s do the hard work required to get on our knees and stay on our knees in prayer, asking God to heal our land and to use us as truthful, gracious ambassadors for His Gospel. He has promised He will hear us and respond. With that in mind, let me issue a call to action you can do right where you sit. Ready. Set. Pray.

I’m a news junkie. Ever since my first “real” job as a newspaper reporter, I’ve had an insatiable craving for the news. I can’t get enough of it. I want my finger firmly planted on the pulse of what’s happening . . . until recently.

It seems every news feed is honed in on the “same-sex marriage” debate. The eyes of the nation are firmly fixed on the Supreme Court as the justices decide how marriage will be defined for our entire nation. Despite my training as a journalist and instinctual urge to be in the know, this week I’ve reverted to a head-in-the-sand response.

• How am I supposed to feel about “same-sex marriage”?
• If my convictions go against the roar of the crowd, what should I do about it?
• How can I have an impact on an issue so huge it has found its way to the highest court in the land?
• How do I balance standing for God’s Truth and “judging not?”

And so I generally avoid the topic. I discuss the issue only among like-minded people. I freeze with fear. I consider the battle lost and wave a tiny white flag toward the culture. And yet . . . I know if Christians collectively put their heads in the sand our nation will suffer. There is more at stake here than public policy. There is more on the line than preferences and platitudes.

So I will force my head up. I will look hard at the issue and my own heart. I will squeeze it through the filter of God’s Word. I will think long and hard about what’s on the line, and I will act and ask God to intervene.

I hope you’ll join me. Before we tackle next steps, let’s take a look at the facts.

What’s Happening In The Supreme Court?

Recently the Supreme Court started hearings on two landmark cases:

Case #1: United States versus Windsor

This case examines the constitutionality of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). DOMA was passed by huge majorities in the House and Senate in 1996. It was signed into law by President Clinton and through it, the federal government defines marriage exclusively as the union of a man and a woman. It also explicitly says no state must recognize same-sex unions conducted in another state.

Case #2: Hollingsworth versus Perry

This case came about after two same-sex couples were denied marriage licenses in the state of California as a result of the passage of Proposition 8. Prop 8 was adopted by California voters in 2008 and amended the California constitution to define marriage as the union of a man and a woman. This reversed an earlier state Supreme Court ruling legalizing “same-sex marriage.” A federal district court in San Francisco later ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional. Then the panel of the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals sustained that decision. It has now been volleyed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

The back and forth trajectory of these two cases through the court system is indicative of our nation’s feelings about homosexuality. It is an issue that is heated and polarizing.

And yet, no matter what happens in the courts, this is an issue where public opinion seems to be shifting. A Gallup poll recently reported that 54% of Americans would vote for a law granting marriage benefits in “same-sex marriage.” Only 39% said they would vote against such a law.

A Washington Post/ABC News poll found that 58% of Americans believe it should be legal for gay and lesbian couples to marry.

What Does God’s Word Say?

The facts indicate Americans in general are increasingly in favor of same-sex marriage, and there is a possibility the courts will pass down rulings reflecting this shift.

But as Christians, we are called to avoid the temptation to think like the crowd and base our beliefs on what’s happening in the culture (Eph. 4:17–24). God’s Word is our guide for what is the best way to live and what justice truly looks like. So, as we think through the homosexual debate, the most important question we can ask is, “What does the Bible say?”

I’d like you to do your own homework here. Avoid the temptation to think you already know the breadth of God’s thoughts on this issue. Instead, run to the Word yourself and ask God to show you His heart for marriage, sexuality, and the law of the land.

Here are several verses to get you started:

Leviticus 18:22
Leviticus 20:13
Romans 1:26–28
1 Corinthians 6:9–101

Spoiler alert: The bottom line is God’s Word takes a clear stand against homosexuality. And yet we still have to wrestle through questions like these:

• Is it the court’s job to defend the picture of marriage given to us by God’s Word?
• As Christians, are we doing kingdom work by focusing on this issue if we’re not also sharing the life-giving, transformational Gospel message?
• What is the best way to stand for God’s Truth without compromise?

Before we go any further, let’s allow God’s Truth to sink in. Let’s seek Him, truly seek Him for an action plan. Then we’ll pick up here tomorrow with “The ‘Same-Sex Marriage’ Debate: An Action Plan.”

Oh, the Exodus. What a strange and troublesome blot on the story of God’s people . . .

Every time I read about how God delivered His people from slavery with dramatic interventions like plagues and the parting of the Red Sea I am amazed. But within a few pages, when God’s people start grumbling about petty issues like food, frankly I want to slap them silly.

How could they doubt God’s goodness after all they had seen? How could they gripe about the menu when God had delivered them from slavery? How could they consistently be such a stubborn people when God had demonstrated such a soft heart toward them? If I had been among them, surely I would have responded differently . . .

Hindsight has a way of distorting reality, doesn’t it? Since I can read the Israelites story from beginning to end, I tend to take on the role of backseat driver. I can see where they zigged but should have zagged. I can see where they grumbled but should have worshipped. I can see where they doubted but should have trusted. When I read their story, I start to feel a little self-righteous.

But lately, it has occurred to me that I don’t always do a good job of managing my manna. Manna are those things I beg God for, but once He delivers, I start complaining.

My children are a good example. I prayed and prayed for those little boys. I asked God to make them strong and healthy and brave. Oh, they’re strong all right—strong-tempered, strong-willed, and very skilled at strong-arming my day. I hear myself complaining to God about them when He has done exactly what I asked and given me exactly what I requested.

My marriage comes to mind. Ooh how I begged God to let me marry that boy fifteen years ago. And yet, my regular marriage prayers sound more like a gripe session about all that needs to change instead of an expression of gratitude for my husband.

My job is another example. I love what I do. I get to write and speak and occasionally travel. About eight years ago, I quit my job as a high school history teacher because I wanted to become a Bible teacher. For nearly a year I sat in an empty home office with nothing to do, nothing to write, and no one asking me to speak.

All day every day I begged God to give me opportunities to teach His Word. He has done it. And yet, with nearly every deadline or speaking engagement my first response is to grumble. It turns out that being a Bible teacher is hard work. It requires studying (and more studying), sacrifice, oh . . . and actual effort on my part. God gave me exactly what I asked for and yet, so often I complain about it.

What happened when the Israelites failed to manage their manna? What was God’s response when they complained after He gave them exactly what they asked for?

“Now the people began complaining openly before the Lord about hardship. When the Lord heard, His anger burned, and fire from the Lord blazed among them and consumed the outskirts of the camp. Then the people cried out to Moses, and he prayed to the Lord, and the fire died down. So that place was named Taberah, because the Lord’s fire had blazed among them” (Num. 11:1–3).

The memory of that fire must have lasted about as long is my own memory of God’s goodness. Before long the people started complaining that they didn’t have fish, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic (Num. 11:5).

How ungrateful do you have to be to complain about a shortage of leeks? Moses got caught up in the collective misery and asked God to kill him in order to deliver him from the sound of the Israelites’ constant complaining (Num. 11:14).

What a hissy fit! And all over some herbs and meat!

There are loads of warnings in this story, but here’s my big takeaway:

1.    My default is to complain, even when God gives me exactly what I ask for.
2.    When I allow my heart to go there, I can expect anger to be God’s (righteous) response.

I wonder if you need the same reminder?

Are you managing your manna well? Do you receive the things you ask God for with a heart of gratitude and praise? Or are you more like me and those stubborn Israelites? Is grumbling your default? Do you tend to approach God always asking for more?